Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘A Birthday Story’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: A Birthday Story

207. A Birthday Story

Aired November 3, 2010

When Brick's ninth birthday rolls around, the one thing he really wants is to finally hear the story of the day he was born.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: [v.o.] Iis there anything better than a surprise party? The only hard part is keeping the secret. But when you pull it off, it's something no one ever forgets. Yep, everyone loves a surprise party.
Brick: I invited my whole class to my birthday on Saturday.
Frankie: [v.o.] Surprise.
Frankie: Saturday? You're just telling me about this now? Oh, Brick. I don't have time to throw a party for 20 kids in 3 days.
Brick: Here's a list of everyone's food allergies and dietary restrictions. We all voted on a peanut butter cake, except for two kids who will die if they go anywhere near it. I'll let you hash that out.

Rate

Quote from Brick

Frankie: Okay, Brick, here's the thing. You invited 25 kids to the party, but everything comes in packs of 24. We're not gonna buy a whole extra set just for one kid, so you're gonna have to uninvite someone.
Brick: I can't.
Frankie: Come on. There's always one kid nobody wants at the party.
Brick: That's me, Mom.

Quote from Frankie

Brick: I already told you what I want. I just want to hear about the day I was born. [Sue squeals]
Frankie: [v.o.] Brick was starting to realize that every time he asked to hear about the day he was born, he never really got the full story.
[flashbacks:]
Frankie: It was a rainy day, and I was at the grocery story, when... Uh-oh. Doorbell.
Mike: It was a snowy day, and your mom was helping me shovel... Was that the doorbell?
Axl: It was a really hot day, so I was getting Mom a popsicle, and, uh... Oh, dude, doorbell.
[present:]
Brick: Why is it every time I ask about the day I was born, no one ever answers me? I've heard a million times how Sue was born on a leap day, so technically she's still only 3 years old, and Axl came out with a pointy head, but no one ever talks about my story. It's almost like you don't want to tell me.
Frankie: Of course I want to tell you. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Mike, I'll need to see you in the dining room.
[Frankie and Mike frantically confer in the dining room before returning to Brick]
Mike: How would you like a brand-new bike?

Quote from Sue

Sue: Brick's on to us! He knows we're hiding something. He thinks he's adopted, but he's gonna keep digging! What are we gonna do?
Mike: All right, this has gone on long enough. We're just gonna have to bite the bullet and tell him what happened.
Frankie: Oh, no! He'll never forgive us.
Mike: He's getting older, Frankie. We can't wait too long. You waited too long to tell Sue about unicorns.
Sue: That was embarrassing. I did a whole science project about them.
[flashback:]
Sue: And the unicorn's primary food source is rainbows, but they have also been known to eat clouds. [kids laugh]

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] Luckily for me, once his party started, Brick was too busy to ask any questions.
[Brick is reading a book as he sits at the table with his party guests]
Frankie: Well, thank you I for coming to Brick's birthday party. Brick thought it'd be fun to start with some quiet reading time here, and then later we'll all walk to the library. [kids groan] Hey! You think Brick wanted to play in the bouncy house at your party? Or race go-karts at your party? Well, this is Brick's party, so suck it up and start reading.

Quote from Brick

Mike: Happy birthday, Brick.
Brick: Thanks, Dad. Cool. A manual! And it's in German, Japanese, and French. Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad.

Quote from Brick

Brick: The robot takes D batteries! And parts of it were assembled in Mexico! [whispers] D batteries..
Mike: Where's the actual robot?
Brick: [shrugs] I don't know.
Mike: Glad I drove to three stores looking for it.

Quote from Frankie

Brick: Hey, Axl, I finally heard about the day I was born.
Axl: Sweet! Now I can finally go swimming at the Fergusons.
Brick: Fergusons? Who are the Fergusons?
Frankie: Damn it, Axl! You had to blow it! He bought it! We were in the clear. It had heart. It had funny. Great attention to detail. I mean, come on! The sauerkraut by the sink? I pulled that out of my...
Mike: You had to make up a story where I look like an idiot? I won't pay 10 bucks for parking? I'm cheap and a wuss? This is a football scar. From football. Not passing out.
Sue: This is the unicorn all over again.
Mike: I don't pass out. The people at work know I've never passed out.
Axl: A courtesy text would've been nice! I'm not a mind reader.
Brick: You made all that up!? All right. No one gets out of this room until I get the real story. The true, non-made-up, actual, fact-based story. I'm waiting.
Frankie: [sighs] All right, Brick. We'll tell you the real story of the day you were born.
Mike: I am gonna need a beer for this.

Quote from Frankie

Brick: You brought home the wrong baby!? How could you not know it wasn't me!?
Mike: I figured your mom would know. Mothers are supposed to know those things.
Frankie: Oh, so it's my fault? You're the one that had to watch the game. I was all drugged up. They could've put a turkey in my arms, I would've taken it home.

Quote from Brick

Brick: After careful consideration, I've come to realize something. I have the coolest birthday story ever. [Frankie sighs] Axl and Sue only get one day. I have a whole month.
Frankie: You know, Brick, what I didn't get to tell you the other day was that the moment I held you in my arms. The second time. I knew you were mine. Aw. Blake Ferguson's got nothing on you. Even his name: Blake. It's boring.
Mike: It's no Brick, I'll tell ya that.
Brick: Hey, everyone makes mistakes, even me. Remember that mysteriously broken lamp you grounded Axl for? I walked into it while reading. I was also the one who put the plastic bag In the garbage disposal. It wasn't an accident. I just wanted to see what would happen. But I know you'll forgive me, as I forgive you.
Frankie: Ah.
Brick: Oh, and, um... Here's a list of additional birthday gifts I'd like. The pony doesn't have to be black. Just not white. The white ones are impossible to keep clean.
Frankie: There's over 50 things on here.
Brick: You don't have to get 'em all now. You can take a month... Give or take a day.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode