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‘The Graduation’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

The Middle: The Graduation

424. The Graduation

Aired May 22, 2013

As graduation day approaches, Frankie and Axl keep getting on each other's nerves. Sue is hopeful that the sixth time's a charm as she once again takes her driver's test. Meanwhile, Vice Principal Dunlap (Marion Ross) reminds Brick that he's the class historian and is responsible for putting together a slideshow of his elementary class's last four years.

Quote from Brick

Ms. Dunlap: And now with no further ado, your class historian, Brick Heck, will take you on a magical, musical journey of your years at Orson Elementary. Brick? [under breath] You better blow the doors off this place.
Brick: [to microphone] Memories. I could show you all pictures of your time here at Orson Elementary, but those would be my memories, not yours. So instead, I invite you to close your eyes and picture your own memories. Remember the field trip to the Indiana Dunes in second grade? I don't, but maybe you do. Maybe you had a great time. What about the time that you and your friend and your other friend locked arms on the playground? Boy, you guys are close. And now sit back and enjoy a musical montage of all your best memories, artfully put together in your own imagination, while I hum the tune to the appropriate, if not overused, graduation anthem, "We Are Young" by Fun [hums "We Are Young"] [students giggle]
Girl: Who is that?
Boy: Did we vote for him?
Girl: He's weird.
Frankie: [v.o.] So Brick left elementary school with his reputation intact.
Brick: Nailed it.
Ms. Dunlap: This isn't over. I will hunt you like a dog in the street. [loudly] Well, wasn't that delightful? And now Mimi Millhauser on the flutophone.

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Quote from Brick

Brick: Hey, Mom, quick thing. I need you to take about 200 pictures of my classmates and set them to music in a slide show. It should be touching but not schmaltzy, funny, but without trying too hard. And if you could have it ready Friday morning by 10:00, that'd be great. 11:00 at the latest. Night.
Frankie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Brick. How long have you known about this?
Brick: What's today? Thursday? About... four years.
Frankie: Brick!
Brick: It's not my fault. They should have voted for Jay Gold. I got elected based on one good speech and didn't have the skills to back it up. It's really what's wrong with politics.

Quote from Brick

Ms. Dunlap: Hi there, Brick. How's my favorite class historian doing?
Brick: Actually, there's been a little hiccup with the photo montage, but the good news is, you'll have an extra 15 minutes to play with at the assembly.
Ms. Dunlap: Oh, well, these things happen. [chuckles]
Brick: Oh, I knew you'd understand.
Ms. Dunlap: But they don't happen to me. Now you listen to me. And you listen good, you little punk. You're gonna do the job you were elected to do four years ago, or I will turn you inside out and wear you like a hat. Ha. I know everyone thinks the vice principal's a joke. I hear the whispers. I don't like it when people whisper about me, Brick. Got it?
Brick: Got it. [whispers] Got it. [gasps; normal voice] Sorry! [whispers] Sorry. [normal voice] I can't stop whispering! [whispers] Whispering.
Ms. Dunlap: This photo montage is the only thing the Principal doesn't have her stinkin' paws all over, and if you mess it up, I will make your life a living hell. I have connections in middle school, and I can make sure you get the smelliest locker and the meanest teachers and extra gym.
Brick: Oh, no.
Ms. Dunlap: Oh, yes. [school bell rings] Well, anyway, I can't wait to see your presentation, dear.

Quote from Sue

BMV Examiner: Okay, Sue, in about a half mile, you're gonna wanna take-
Sue: I know. Take a right at the stop sign, a left by the yellow house with the apple tree in the yard, then bring it down to 25 miles an hour for the school zone. This is not my first barbecue.
BMV Examiner: Nice signal. And... nice turn.
Frankie: [v.o.] Only six blocks to go, and Sue was doing great. Maybe it was all her experience paying off. Maybe it was Bobblehead Jesus. But of course, Sue being Sue...
Sue: [gasps as the windshield is splattered with red food] Windshield obstructed. Activating wipers. Peripheral vision compromised.
BMV Examiner: I really think we should stop.
Sue: Don't worry. I got this. [two teenagers carry a balloon arch into the middle of the road] Whoa-oh.
BMV Examiner: Watch out!
Sue: No choice but to go through!
BMV Examiner: Oh, God. Mattress! Oh!
Sue: It's okay! I can still see!
BMV Examiner: For the love of God, pull over! I have children!
Sue: No! I only have two blocks left! [bang, rattling] Pothole. Not a problem! [siren wails] Page 47 in the manual how to stay calm in a hazardous situation!
BMV Examiner: I've been doing this for 30 years. [sighs] And that was the single greatest piece of driving I have ever seen. Congratulations, Sue Heck. You passed.
[Sue screams, gets out of the car and runs to hug Mike before dancing]

Quote from Brick

Frankie: Hmm. Hey, Brick, I got a notice from the school. You gotta collect all your stuff from the Lost and Found by the end of the week, or they're gonna donate it to the poor. Get my stuff, Brick. I want my stuff back.
Brick: Hmm. I don't recall losing anything. What kind of stuff are we talking about?
Frankie: Huh. A lunch box, an IU sweatshirt, a winter jacket, a rain jacket, the Donahues' jacket, the good flashlight, the bad flashlight, a bubble umbrella, and I'm gonna be conservative and say, oh, 20 pairs of mittens.
Brick: Huh. Since you know exactly what's missing, maybe you should go. You really seem to have a handle on this.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] Raising kids it seems to go by in the blink of an eye. But it's all worth it 'cause you know someday they're gonna grow up and be...
Axl: Why are you lurking outside my door? God, it's like you're stalking me!
Frankie: [v.o.] Awful.
Frankie: Ugh. Is it me, or is Axl being a bigger jerk than usual lately?
Mike: I don't know. Seems like about the normal amount of jerk to me.
Frankie: No, I'm serious, Mike. He's been horrible to me. I'm just trying to get some answers out of him about his graduation party, and he's all, like... [mocking voice] "What's with you? "Stop stalking me." "If it bugs you so much, why don't you flush it?" I don't know how much more I can take. And look around this place. I got a high tolerance for pain.

Quote from Brick

Ms. Dunlap: Oh, looks like somebody really struck it rich at the Lost and Found. You're Brick Heck, right? You're the class historian.
Brick: Am I?
Frankie: [v.o.] He was.
Ms. Dunlap: So... how is your slide show coming along? Since I'm the vice principal, that's kind of my baby.
Brick: Slide show?
Ms. Dunlap: Well, you know, for the final assembly, when the historian presents his big presentation. Why do you think you've been taking all those pictures for the past four years?
Brick: For the assembly, of course. That's exactly why I've been taking all those pictures, which I definitely did do, by the way.
Ms. Dunlap: Now remember, dear, your photo montage should be poignant and heartfelt. We've allotted 15 minutes, but you can go a full 20 if you need to.
Brick: Oh, good. That takes some of the pressure off.
Ms. Dunlap: Really looking forward to it.

Quote from Axl

Frankie: Oh, good, you're home. I... [sighs] I need you to give me some answers about your graduation party.
Axl: Oh, you still talking about that?
Frankie: [scoffs] Yes, I am, because you won't. So how many of your friends do you think will be coming?
Axl: Unknown.
Frankie: Will Sean and Darrin wanna bring their parents?
Axl: Unknown.
Frankie: What about food and drinks?
Axl: "Un" and "known."
Frankie: Well, can it be known? Can you give me maybe one second of your attention so that I can know some of this stuff? [Axl groans] Look, your graduation is a big deal, Axl. It wasn't exactly breezy getting you through four years of high school, and we would like to celebrate it.
Axl: Fine. Whatever you want.
Frankie: No, it's not whatever I want. It's whatever you want.
Axl: Ho ho ho! That's hilarious. This is not what I want. I just wanna hang out with my friends. I don't even want a party. You wanna give me what I want? How about a car? [slams door]

Quote from Axl

Axl: Oh, my God. She's here again.
Frankie: Don't shut the door in my face, and don't call me "she."
Axl: You're female, are you not? What am I supposed to call you? God!
Frankie: We are not finished here, Axl. I literally need just two minutes of your time. I don't think that's too much to ask.
Axl: Actually, it is. I'm already late for Darrin's party. [sprays deodorant] [Frankie coughs] And I wanna get there before all the jell-o sh... alad is gone. Look, I'll be home by 11:30. We can talk about it then.
Frankie: Fine. I will be waiting for you right here at exactly 11:30, and I expect you to be here.
Axl: I will.
Frankie: With your full attention.
Axl: My full attention.
Frankie: And no jell-o on your breath. 11:30. I want you to give me your word.
Axl: Fine. You have my word.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: I'm sorry, Brick, but you're gonna have to figure this one out on your own, 'cause I'm over it. I'm done getting in the middle of my kids' lives.
Brick: Hey, where are you going?
Frankie: Unknown.

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