The Misidentification of Sue Heck Page 1 of 3    

The Misidentification of Sue Heck

A collection of quotes where the perpetually-forgotten Sue Heck is misidentified as someone else, including Ana Hajarajanaan, Barb Heckie and Sue Hickey.

Quote from Sue in The Graduate

Sue: Brad! Brad! The yearbooks are in!
Brad: I know, I know! Gimme, gimme, gimme.
Sue: Here! Three years of bad pictures, and it took me till senior year to finally make sure I got a good one. Ah! Yes! In her first decent picture in four years of high school, it's... Ana Hajarajanaan? Why is the name under my first good picture Ana Hajarajanaan?
Brad: Ugh.


Quote from Sue in Average Rules

Sue: Oh! Maybe I'm in some candids from the lunchroom.
Frankie: Yeah, right.
Sue: Oh. I think that might be my shoe.
Frankie: Well, at least you have your class photo.
[When Sue flicks to her page, a "Picture Unavailable" message occupies her square]
Sue: Wait a minute. I retook that picture three times. I had three photos available.
Frankie: How did this happen? This is just not right.
Sue: That's okay. I'm pretty sure that one in the candids is my shoe. I'll just get everyone to sign it by my shoe. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's my shoe.

Quote from Sue in The Crying Game

Sue: Oh! Mrs. K! Ahh! Ooh, it's so great to see you! I have missed you! Okay, I have been meaning to visit, but I have been so busy with college and applying for internships and my no-cut a cappella.
Mrs. Kozicki: I'm sorry. Who are you?
Sue: Sue. Sue Heck.
Mrs. Kozicki: Axl and Brick's sister?
Sue: Yes, but also Sue Heck... your student.
Mrs. Kozicki: Does not ring a bell.
Sue: Pbht. What? But we were really close. Remember? I made you that pencil cup holder that said "Have a Healthful Day"? [chuckles] You were in my high-school collage of my favorite high-school memories.
Mrs. Kozicki: Oh. Look, I've had a lot of students over the years. I can't remember every one.
Sue: Well, you should. Because they remember you. You know, teachers are so important to students during their formative years.
Mrs. Kozicki: Yeah, I guess you didn't really distinguish yourself.
Sue: Didn't distinguish myself?! I pulled your dog out of your boiling car in the parking lot. I gave him mouth to mouth. I saved his life.
Mrs. Kozicki: Well, I thought that was Ana Hajarajanaan.
Sue: I cannot believe how hurtful you're being. You know, kids look up to teachers. You are supposed to help mold students' lives, but you're not doing anything. Well, if I had any interest in becoming a teacher, I would come in here and just take your job! You're a disgrace to that apple that's not on your desk! I am gonna go home right now and crack open that Lucite and take you out of my collage! Oh, and please don't fail my brother.

Quote from Sue in Meet The Parents

Sue: Ah! Brick, I got your text! I came as fast as I could!
Brick: Hi, friend! Good to see you, friend. Thanks for bailing me out. I haven't seen you since we ate French fries at the designated meeting location while watching ribald videos on the Internet and talking about our other friends we have.
Sue: Oh! Oh, right. I am a good friend bailing out my good friend from the Sophomore Slammer. That is what I am here to do. And so on and so forth and what have you.
Principal Cameron: Wait a minute. I know you. You're Ana Hajarajanaan. Welcome back!
Sue: Uh-huh. That's right. I am Ana Hajarajanaan, and it is nice to be back. You ready to go, Brick?
Brick: Mm-hmm.
Principal Cameron: All right, just pay the bail money and, uh, we will put a bullet in this thing and go home.
Sue: Oh, I don't have my wallet. Oh, wait. I forgot. I do have $5. I really don't need that fancy coffee or the fluffy pom-pom you can hang on your purse.
Principal Cameron: And... that puts an end to the weekend. But before you know it, I will be back in the morning to dress up with the Vice Principal as Crockett and Tubbs for '80s week. Only seven more years till my student loans are paid off.

Quote from Sue in The Trip

Frankie: [v.o.] Unfortunately, I could believe it. This was Sue's whole life in a nutshell. She tries and tries and never gets any recognition. It's like people don't even see her.
[flashback to a teacher taking attendance:]
Teacher: Sue Heck?
Sue: Here.
Teacher: Sue Heck?
Sue: Here.
Teacher: Okay, not here.
[flashback to the cafeteria:]
Cafeteria Worker: Pizza or fish?
Sue: Pizza, please. [he puts fish on her tray] Oh, okay.
[flashback to Sue's classmates singing Happy Birthday to her in class:]
All: [singing] Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday dear... [all mutter indistinctly] Happy birthday to you [Sue sighs]

Quote from Sue in Super Sunday

Sue: Got our ribbons. Look! "8th place" and "participant"! Two ribbons for the bulletin board. [squeals]
Brad: Sue, there were only eight couples. How can you be happy about this? We lost.
Sue: I guess I'm used to it.
Brad: [sighs] I really wanted to win.
Sue: Brad, think about it. Do you really want to peak in eighth grade? There's nowhere to go but down. But 'cause we're building character now, we can peak when we're 30, when we have the money and clear skin to enjoy it. We are gonna be the most awesome adults.
Brad: I almost feel sorry for the winners.
Sue: We did it, Brad. We participated. We got ribbons. We got our names in the programs. They listed me as "Sue Hick," but I know it's me. And now we get to go to the pie house... In our costumes.

Quote from Sue in Royal Wedding

Frankie: [v.o.] And that's how a little mnemonic device like "news" ballooned into...
Sue: "NEWSBENJIVERTS." My brother came up with "NEWS," but I came up with "BENJIVERTS."
Samantha: Now our third and final candidate, Sue Hickey.
Frankie: [v.o.] That's when Sue introduced the world to "NEWSBENJIVERTS." B for "blink less"...
Sue: Happy Thursday, fellow shuckers.
Frankie: [v.o.] E for "enunciate"...
Sue: The flooded auditorium-uh will be drain-uh-d in time for the spring muh-usical.
Frankie: [v.o.] N for "nodding"...
Sue: And kudos to the girls soccer team for defeating the other team from...
Frankie: [v.o.] And who could forget V for "very big gestures"?
Sue: I'm Sue Heck, and that's what the Heck's go... [knocks over glass of water and microphone] On.
Samantha: Cut to black! Cut to black!

Quote from Axl in The Guidance Counselor

Axl: You know what? I like it.
Sue: Really? Thanks, Axl.
Axl: You're welcome, Sucky.
Sue: It's "Suki."
Axl: Sorry, Pukey.
Sue: Suki!
Axl: Got it, Dooky.
Sue: Suki!

Quote from Sue in Bunny Therapy

Frankie: [v.o.] Out here in the middle, cheerleaders and football players have been dating since the dawn of time. They go together like Jell-o and fruit cocktail, cheese and crackers, mayo and... Well, everything.
Sue: Oh, hi. What are you guys doing here?
Debbie: And you are...
Sue: Sue. Axl's sister.
Courtney: I don't think so.
Debbie: No, no. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a sister. He doesn't have a sister, right, Court?
Courtney: No, he has a brother, though. He's cute. You should meet him...
Sue: I have met him, because he's my brother, as is Axl.

Quote from Frankie in Average Rules

Girl: Come on, you can do it, Barb.
All: Barb! Barb! Barb!
Frankie: It's Sue!
All: Sue! Sue! Sue!

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