Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Hecks at a Movie’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: Hecks at a Movie

715. Hecks at a Movie

Aired February 17, 2016

When the Hecks go to the movie theater to see a film partly short in Orson, Frankie and Mike fall out after he shushes her during a conversation. Brick is outraged when he learns there's a Planet Nowhere film on the way that isn't faithful to the source material. Meanwhile, Sue runs into Logan again, and Axl and Sean reminisce about their first kisses.

Quote from Brick

Male Voice: [on film] [action music plays] Coming, Summer 2016. Based on the best-selling series that swept the nation... [music stops]
Man: [on film] Silligans.
Male Voice: [on film] David S. Rosenthal's... Planet Nowhere.
Brick: They're doing a movie about Planet Nowhere!
Male Voice: [on film] Hugh Jackman as Professor Faxon. Ray Liotta is Gackos the Batossian. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is Soran. And introducing Montana Steinberg as Princess Kalakare. [lasers blasting]
Kalakare: [on film] The Vernegos will prevail.
Brick: Princess Kalakare's 132 years old! That kid's not a day over 11! They can't do this! You can't do this!
Mike: Brick, it's not like the couch. You got to sit down.
Brick: Stop the movie! Stop the movie!

Rate

Quote from Brick

Brick: I mean, what we just saw isn't Planet Nowhere. The sets are cheap. The Kalakarians look like Silligans. And Hugh Jackman? He can't pull off this material. He's a song-and-dance man. I'm sick. I'm just sick over this.
Mike: That could be the potatoes.
Brick: Who are these Warner Brothers? Is there one who's like the leader, so if I get to him, the others will fall in line? 'Cause I need them to not release this movie.
Frankie: Brick, once the previews come out, it's done. It's too late.
Brick: Did Professor Faxon give up when he was negotiating with the Zorgonauts for the Malakian Canal? He didn't. But I can understand your confusion, 'cause Hugh Jackman would fold like a Klugarg. That's Malakian for card table. I have to stop this.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: We're taking you now. Here, put these Milk Dudes up your sleeve.
Brick: What are Milk Dudes?
Frankie: The Frugal Hoosier version of Milk Duds.
Brick: What are Milk Duds?
Frankie: You know what Milk Duds are. It's a classic movie sna-- Oh.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: [v.o.] Out here in the middle, we spend a lot of time at the movies. We go to escape the heat, the cold, and just the monotony of our lives. Yep, everybody loves going to the movies.
Brick: I've never been to the movies.
Frankie: What are you talking about? Of course you've been to the movies.
Brick: No, I haven't. I've seen them on TV and from the car once, but I've never been in an actual theater.
Frankie: [sighs] Oh, yeah, I remember. We wanted to take you when you were little, but you had all that sensory weirdness.
Brick: Yes, and I'm sure that's how the doctors suggested you refer to it. Very healthy, very supportive. I'm a teenager and I've never been to the movies. It's pretty sad.
Mike: When I was a teenager, my mom died.
Brick: Yeah, but she took you to the movies before she did, right?

Quote from Frankie

Nancy: I was so bummed that the actors didn't come to Orson to film. I've never seen a celebrity.
Paula: Bill's met one at a pool. Tell them, Bill.
Bill: Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, it was somebody big, but let me just get you there. I'm in college, a busboy, and they say there's gonna be a group of 12 coming. So, you got your sections.
Frankie: Oh, when I was a waitress, I could never get the section I wanted. I don't know why. Oh, no, no. I do know why. There was this one waiter, and he knew the owner. No, no. It was his nephew, Brian. Ugh, hated that guy.
Bill: [chuckles] So- So, I didn't know who it was, right, but I knew it was a biggie because they had to have exactly five sliced lemons in their water. I mean, you don't get that unless you're somebody.
Frankie: What is with the lemons in the water? I do not get why that is fancy. You get the seeds in your throat. It's not quenching. [chuckles]
Mike: So, anyway, you're bringing the guy lemons...
Bill: Yeah, only I didn't say it was a guy. [all "ooh"] So, I'm there with the lemons, door opens...
Frankie: Was it Heather Locklear? I only say that 'cause I read once that she visited Missouri. [Mike sighs] I like her. She seems real.
Mike: Frankie, let the man finish his story. [both chuckle awkwardly]
Bill: Yeah, it was Heather Locklear. She loves lemons.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Oh, this is for the popcorn my mom bought before the movie. Uh, uh, she's very generic-looking, so you definitely saw someone who looks like her buying popcorn. And she did. With a credit card. Not a credit card. Y-You'd have a record of that. She used cash. She carries a lot of it. Please don't rob us. [laughs nervously] I don't think you're a robber.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Okay, first of all, you've never called me "honey" in your life. And I wasn't interrupting him. What I was doing is something called making conversation. You wouldn't recognize it because you never say anything to anyone. You just stand there like a plaid Abe Lincoln statue.
Mike: I'm telling you, it was uncomfortable.
Frankie: The only time it got uncomfortable was when you snapped my head off.
Mike: What are you talking about?
Frankie: They were horrified. You couldn't see their faces 'cause you're so freakishly tall, but I saw their faces.

Quote from Brick

Brick: We can't stop everyone from seeing Planet Nowhere, but even if this one theater didn't show it, it would make a difference.
Projectionist: I hear you. I got to sit through that preview five times a day. Nine galaxies, and the only Black guy is Dwayne Johnson.
Brick: So we agree. All you have to do is lock the door. If you don't turn it on, no one will see it.
Projectionist: I got to show it. It's my job. Don't sweat it, man. Think about all the other movies that are different from the book.
Brick: I wouldn't know.

Quote from Brick

[As Brick sits sullenly on a bench in the movie theater, two men walk past a Planet Nowhere promotional sign]
Man: Oh, this looks good. Totally gonna see it opening day.
Frankie: [v.o.] Brick realized he needed to take a stand. So he took the stand.

Quote from Sue

Logan: Sue, I really like you.
Sue: I really like you, too.
Logan: I just... I need to tell you something. [inhales sharply] I'm thinking about changing my major.
Sue: Oh. Well, I don't really think that's gonna affect our relationship. Unless, I mean, if it's psychology, because I think I'm gonna do psychology. And if we have two psychologists in the family, then that could really mess up our kids.
Logan: Uh...
Sue: Not that we're having kids yet. It's not like I've already named one of them Emmaline.
Logan: Look, Sue, I was thinking about changing my major to... religious studies.
Sue: Mm-hmm.
Logan: I'm thinking of becoming a priest.
Sue: Oh. God.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode