Male Voice: [on film] [action music plays] Coming, Summer 2016. Based on the best-selling series that swept the nation... [music stops]
Man: [on film] Silligans.
Male Voice: [on film] David S. Rosenthal's... Planet Nowhere.
Brick: They're doing a movie about Planet Nowhere!
Male Voice: [on film] Hugh Jackman as Professor Faxon. Ray Liotta is Gackos the Batossian. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is Soran. And introducing Montana Steinberg as Princess Kalakare. [lasers blasting]
Kalakare: [on film] The Vernegos will prevail.
Brick: Princess Kalakare's 132 years old! That kid's not a day over 11! They can't do this! You can't do this!
Mike: Brick, it's not like the couch. You got to sit down.
Brick: Stop the movie! Stop the movie!

Brick: I mean, what we just saw isn't Planet Nowhere. The sets are cheap. The Kalakarians look like Silligans. And Hugh Jackman? He can't pull off this material. He's a song-and-dance man. I'm sick. I'm just sick over this.
Mike: That could be the potatoes.
Brick: Who are these Warner Brothers? Is there one who's like the leader, so if I get to him, the others will fall in line? 'Cause I need them to not release this movie.
Frankie: Brick, once the previews come out, it's done. It's too late.
Brick: Did Professor Faxon give up when he was negotiating with the Zorgonauts for the Malakian Canal? He didn't. But I can understand your confusion, 'cause Hugh Jackman would fold like a Klugarg. That's Malakian for card table. I have to stop this.

Frankie: We're taking you now. Here, put these Milk Dudes up your sleeve.
Brick: What are Milk Dudes?
Frankie: The Frugal Hoosier version of Milk Duds.
Brick: What are Milk Duds?
Frankie: You know what Milk Duds are. It's a classic movie sna-- Oh.

Frankie: [v.o.] Out here in the middle, we spend a lot of time at the movies. We go to escape the heat, the cold, and just the monotony of our lives. Yep, everybody loves going to the movies.
Brick: I've never been to the movies.
Frankie: What are you talking about? Of course you've been to the movies.
Brick: No, I haven't. I've seen them on TV and from the car once, but I've never been in an actual theater.
Frankie: [sighs] Oh, yeah, I remember. We wanted to take you when you were little, but you had all that sensory weirdness.
Brick: Yes, and I'm sure that's how the doctors suggested you refer to it. Very healthy, very supportive. I'm a teenager and I've never been to the movies. It's pretty sad.
Mike: When I was a teenager, my mom died.
Brick: Yeah, but she took you to the movies before she did, right?

Nancy: I was so bummed that the actors didn't come to Orson to film. I've never seen a celebrity.
Paula: Bill's met one at a pool. Tell them, Bill.
Bill: Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, it was somebody big, but let me just get you there. I'm in college, a busboy, and they say there's gonna be a group of 12 coming. So, you got your sections.
Frankie: Oh, when I was a waitress, I could never get the section I wanted. I don't know why. Oh, no, no. I do know why. There was this one waiter, and he knew the owner. No, no. It was his nephew, Brian. Ugh, hated that guy.
Bill: [chuckles] So- So, I didn't know who it was, right, but I knew it was a biggie because they had to have exactly five sliced lemons in their water. I mean, you don't get that unless you're somebody.
Frankie: What is with the lemons in the water? I do not get why that is fancy. You get the seeds in your throat. It's not quenching. [chuckles]
Mike: So, anyway, you're bringing the guy lemons...
Bill: Yeah, only I didn't say it was a guy. [all "ooh"] So, I'm there with the lemons, door opens...
Frankie: Was it Heather Locklear? I only say that 'cause I read once that she visited Missouri. [Mike sighs] I like her. She seems real.
Mike: Frankie, let the man finish his story. [both chuckle awkwardly]
Bill: Yeah, it was Heather Locklear. She loves lemons.

Sue: Oh, this is for the popcorn my mom bought before the movie. Uh, uh, she's very generic-looking, so you definitely saw someone who looks like her buying popcorn. And she did. With a credit card. Not a credit card. Y-You'd have a record of that. She used cash. She carries a lot of it. Please don't rob us. [laughs nervously] I don't think you're a robber.

Frankie: Okay, first of all, you've never called me "honey" in your life. And I wasn't interrupting him. What I was doing is something called making conversation. You wouldn't recognize it because you never say anything to anyone. You just stand there like a plaid Abe Lincoln statue.
Mike: I'm telling you, it was uncomfortable.
Frankie: The only time it got uncomfortable was when you snapped my head off.
Mike: What are you talking about?
Frankie: They were horrified. You couldn't see their faces 'cause you're so freakishly tall, but I saw their faces.

Brick: We can't stop everyone from seeing Planet Nowhere, but even if this one theater didn't show it, it would make a difference.
Projectionist: I hear you. I got to sit through that preview five times a day. Nine galaxies, and the only Black guy is Dwayne Johnson.
Brick: So we agree. All you have to do is lock the door. If you don't turn it on, no one will see it.
Projectionist: I got to show it. It's my job. Don't sweat it, man. Think about all the other movies that are different from the book.
Brick: I wouldn't know.

[As Brick sits sullenly on a bench in the movie theater, two men walk past a Planet Nowhere promotional sign]
Man: Oh, this looks good. Totally gonna see it opening day.
Frankie: [v.o.] Brick realized he needed to take a stand. So he took the stand.

Logan: Sue, I really like you.
Sue: I really like you, too.
Logan: I just... I need to tell you something. [inhales sharply] I'm thinking about changing my major.
Sue: Oh. Well, I don't really think that's gonna affect our relationship. Unless, I mean, if it's psychology, because I think I'm gonna do psychology. And if we have two psychologists in the family, then that could really mess up our kids.
Logan: Uh...
Sue: Not that we're having kids yet. It's not like I've already named one of them Emmaline.
Logan: Look, Sue, I was thinking about changing my major to... religious studies.
Sue: Mm-hmm.
Logan: I'm thinking of becoming a priest.
Sue: Oh. God.