Mike: How in the world do you justify spending the money on cable?
Frankie: Because I thought we agreed to spin the wheel. You know, go for what we want and take the risk that it'll all work out. I thought we were both spinners, Mike.
Mike: Oh, that's just great. Sue's gonna be a model, and Axl's gonna be a rock star, and some miracle is going to fall into our lap and solve all our financial problems, so let's just get TV. You're delusional.
Frankie: Well, you're un-American.
Mike: What?
Frankie: That's right. Because real Americans are raised on instant gratification, and the optimism that if they mess up, things will somehow all work out. That's what makes America great. How sad to be you. In your dark, little no-TV world.

Steve: All right, long story short, you're spending more than you earn. So we need to find places you can cut back. So we're looking for unnecessary expenses.
Frankie: Okay, okay. Category is unnecessary expenses. Insurance, phone. Mike, help me.
Mike: Gas.
Frankie: Heat, cleaning products...
Mike: Gas.
Frankie: Said that already.
Mike: Orthodontist.
Frankie: Nice.
Steve: No, those are necessary expenses.

Steve: We're looking for extras. You know, things you could do without.
Frankie: [sighs] Oh, God, there are none. We've already cut back on everything. Steve, come to our house. There's nothing good there.
Steve: Well, how about that $3 coffee in your hand? How often do you get that?
Mike: Every day.
Frankie: Not very oft... Are you on my team here or not?
Steve: Times five days a week times 52 weeks a year. Hey, that's $750 right there.
Mike: Hoo.
Frankie: He buys imported beer.
Mike: Imported from Ohio. Thanks, pal.
Frankie: You started it. Add that. Go ahead, add that, Steve. Add the beer.
Mike: She buys pop at the drive-thru even though we have pop at home.

Axl: Let's rock. Two, three, four.
Sean: Wait. Who's rocking? We don't have a name yet.
Axl: Axl and the Axmen. Two, three, four...
Sean: Whoa, whoa. How come you're the one to get your name in the name?
Axl: Because your garage is filled with your sister's gymnastics equipment.

[Frankie and Mike join Aunt Edie in the church bingo hall:]
Frankie: Look around, Mike. This is our future.
Mike: Actually, this is your future. All the men smartened up and died.

Mike: Frankie, I wanted TV too but we agreed to pay off the credit card. That's why I sent in a check. A check that's now gonna bounce.
Frankie: What? Wait. Where did you get the idea we agreed to pay off the credit card?
Mike: This morning when you said, "Given our situation..."
Frankie: Yeah, given our situation that it sucks to not have any TV. Duh. I mean, we have no mind connection.
We'd be terrible on a game show.

Corey: Oh, no. Leave me here, Brick. Save yourself.
Brick: No man left behind. Come on.
Corey: I can't. My sock is so white. I can't get it dirty.
[Brick helps Corey hop from the sandpit back to the building]
Corey: You saved my life. And my sock.
Brick: Semper fi, my brother. Semper fi.

Sue: She said I have "it".
Axl: Sure, if by "it" you mean no chance of ever in a million years even if everybody else in the world were dead except you could you ever be a model.
Sue: Mom.
Frankie: Mike.
Mike: Axl.

Frankie: Hey, hey, don't let the cold air out. You have one grab and you eat what you get.
Axl: Peas? Oh, this sucks.
Frankie: Well, sorry and thank you for playing.

Brick: Whipped cream!
[Frankie and Mike shake their head at each other]
Frankie: Okay, here's the thing. You can keep it or give it to Mom, you get a free bonus grab.
Brick: Bonus grab. Oh, sauerkraut.
Frankie: Good try, though. Good try. [sprays whipped cream into her mouth]