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‘TV or Not TV’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

The Middle: TV or Not TV

120. TV or Not TV

Aired April 14, 2010

When Frankie and Mike cut the cable cord to save money, they struggle to find new hobbies while the kids quickly fill their time.

Quote from Frankie

Mike: How in the world do you justify spending the money on cable?
Frankie: Because I thought we agreed to spin the wheel. You know, go for what we want and take the risk that it'll all work out. I thought we were both spinners, Mike.
Mike: Oh, that's just great. Sue's gonna be a model, and Axl's gonna be a rock star, and some miracle is going to fall into our lap and solve all our financial problems, so let's just get TV. You're delusional.
Frankie: Well, you're un-American.
Mike: What?
Frankie: That's right. Because real Americans are raised on instant gratification, and the optimism that if they mess up, things will somehow all work out. That's what makes America great. How sad to be you. In your dark, little no-TV world.

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Quote from Frankie

Steve: All right, long story short, you're spending more than you earn. So we need to find places you can cut back. So we're looking for unnecessary expenses.
Frankie: Okay, okay. Category is unnecessary expenses. Insurance, phone. Mike, help me.
Mike: Gas.
Frankie: Heat, cleaning products...
Mike: Gas.
Frankie: Said that already.
Mike: Orthodontist.
Frankie: Nice.
Steve: No, those are necessary expenses.

Quote from Frankie

Steve: We're looking for extras. You know, things you could do without.
Frankie: [sighs] Oh, God, there are none. We've already cut back on everything. Steve, come to our house. There's nothing good there.
Steve: Well, how about that $3 coffee in your hand? How often do you get that?
Mike: Every day.
Frankie: Not very oft... Are you on my team here or not?
Steve: Times five days a week times 52 weeks a year. Hey, that's $750 right there.
Mike: Hoo.
Frankie: He buys imported beer.
Mike: Imported from Ohio. Thanks, pal.
Frankie: You started it. Add that. Go ahead, add that, Steve. Add the beer.
Mike: She buys pop at the drive-thru even though we have pop at home.

Quote from Axl

Axl: Let's rock. Two, three, four.
Sean: Wait. Who's rocking? We don't have a name yet.
Axl: Axl and the Axmen. Two, three, four...
Sean: Whoa, whoa. How come you're the one to get your name in the name?
Axl: Because your garage is filled with your sister's gymnastics equipment.

Quote from Mike

[Frankie and Mike join Aunt Edie in the church bingo hall:]
Frankie: Look around, Mike. This is our future.
Mike: Actually, this is your future. All the men smartened up and died.

Quote from Frankie

Mike: Frankie, I wanted TV too but we agreed to pay off the credit card. That's why I sent in a check. A check that's now gonna bounce.
Frankie: What? Wait. Where did you get the idea we agreed to pay off the credit card?
Mike: This morning when you said, "Given our situation..."
Frankie: Yeah, given our situation that it sucks to not have any TV. Duh. I mean, we have no mind connection.
We'd be terrible on a game show.

Quote from Axl

Sue: She said I have "it".
Axl: Sure, if by "it" you mean no chance of ever in a million years even if everybody else in the world were dead except you could you ever be a model.
Sue: Mom.
Frankie: Mike.
Mike: Axl.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Hey, hey, don't let the cold air out. You have one grab and you eat what you get.
Axl: Peas? Oh, this sucks.
Frankie: Well, sorry and thank you for playing.

Quote from Frankie

Brick: Whipped cream!
[Frankie and Mike shake their head at each other]
Frankie: Okay, here's the thing. You can keep it or give it to Mom, you get a free bonus grab.
Brick: Bonus grab. Oh, sauerkraut.
Frankie: Good try, though. Good try. [sprays whipped cream into her mouth]

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Wait a minute. This is part of his plan. Turn us against each other so we lose track of time.
Steve: Yeah, that's my plan.
Steve: Look, here's the thing. Spend less, cut back, pay off your debts. Seven of your credit cards have doubled their rates. Pay them down.
Frankie: Okay, wait a second. I have one really important question. What if we...? [timer dings] Never mind.

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