Frankie: Hey, Dr. Goodwin. Um, you said all expenses were being taken care of, right?
Dr. Goodwin: Yepperoonie.
Frankie: Oh, thank god. 'Cause we just got a bill by mistake for our room service and minibar charges.
Dr. Goodwin: Oh, no, now, they never pay for that. That's why I always bring my snack sack with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Frankie: But you said all expenses paid. That's what you said.
Dr. Goodwin: No, I distinctly remember saying y'all's expenses are paid. Not all y'all's.
Frankie: No, no, no, no, that can't be. I mean, how is anybody supposed to know that "all y'all's" is plural for "y'all's"?
Dr. Goodwin: Well, all y'all's would obviously be more than y'all's. I mean...
Mike: What is he saying? Do you speak hillbilly?
Frankie: Not well, but I think this hillbilly is telling us that we owe $674.
Dr. Goodwin: Ooh, y'all ordered a lot.

Frankie: Hey, Dr. Goodwin. I found something I think you might like.
Dr. Goodwin: Oh, my stars! Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness!
Frankie: I heard about this family who found a lost dog, and they treated him very well and he loved them so much. They called him Colin Firth after the handsome and emotionally vulnerable British actor. [chuckles] So, this should make you feel good, huh?
Dr. Goodwin: [chuckles] Oh, are you kidding? He's amazing. Yes, you are. Just amazing.
Frankie: [voice breaking] He really is.
Dr. Goodwin: [chuckles] And he looks so much like Toffee.
Frankie: Excuse me?
Dr. Goodwin: Oh, well, Toffee only had three legs. But other than that, they're twins.

Frankie: I'm sorry, but we just don't have your peanut brittle yet.
Brick: What peanut brittle?
Dr. Goodwin: What do you mean, "What peanut brittle"? What does he mean, "What peanut brittle"?! What kind of grift are you two running?

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, another night out on the town with my boss. Well, good thing there was a two-drink minimum. 'Cause I needed about three.
Dr. Goodwin: Well, good evening. My name is Dr. Ted Goodwin, and I'm a dentist here in Orson, and guess what. Four out of five of us hate you, too. [Frankie laughs] Hey, did you know that mouth cancer causes 45,000 deaths per year? Can you believe that baloney?

Dr. Goodwin: I'm surprised you didn't want to come in on a day Frankie was working. She is such a hoot. Sometimes she pretends to nod off while working and slumps right over onto her patient. [chuckles]
Mike: So, here's how this is gonna work. You're gonna tell Frankie you checked out my tooth, it's fine, and that's gonna be the end of it.
Dr. Goodwin: Oh. Oh, I don't know, Mike. That would be a lie. I don't like to lie. What would I tell Frankie?
Mike: Well, if it makes you feel better, we can go grab a beer and that way when she says, "How'd it go?" you can say you spent an hour with me and I was happy, and that would all be true.
Dr. Goodwin: Okay, I guess I'm in.
Mike: All right.
Dr. Goodwin: [laughs] Uh! This feels so wrong! We're like Thelma and Louise.
Mike: [laughs] No, we're not.

Dr. Goodwin: Frankie. Thank goodness you're here. We have a new patient coming in, the phone is ringing, and I didn't know what the "Hello, how are ya?" to do. [ringing stops]
Frankie: I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I-I know it's just my fifth day of work and you don't know me that well, but this is not who I am. I am not the late person.
Dr. Goodwin: It's just, if the person I hired to answer the phone isn't here to answer the phone, then... ring, ring. "Who's there?" "I don't know. No one's here to answer the phone."
Frankie: I know. I am so, so sorry.
Dr. Goodwin: I don't mean to be mean, but you should probably be here when you're supposed to be here, you know? Whew. Sorry things got heated there. Dr. Grouchy hasn't made an appearance in a while, but just, please, Frankie, pretty please, be on time. Ugh! There he is again.

Dr. Goodwin: Frankie! You leaving?
Frankie: Oh, hey. Yeah, just thinking about packing up. [chuckles] I can't believe it's the end of the day already. Time just flew, huh? So, I'll see you tomorrow.
Dr. Goodwin: Ah, okay. Well, just always seems like you're running out the door, so...
Frankie: No, you know what? I'm not actually running. I'm just low to the ground, so it seems like I'm moving faster than I really am.
Dr. Goodwin: [chuckles] Well, you're not running anywhere tonight except to grab a burger with me.
Frankie: Oh, you don't have to do that.
Dr. Goodwin: Nonsense. You had me over for Thanksgiving, and I haven't even taken you out for a single meal.
Frankie: Okay, then. G-great. Yes, it would be much more fun going to dinner with my boss instead of just going home and watching The Bachelor.
Dr. Goodwin: Super!

Frankie: So, where's my desk?
Dr. Goodwin: You won't have a desk. That's the whole Smile Superstars international concept. Everything is modern and open. You'll just float from chair to chair with a smile tablet.
Frankie: Really? Smile tablet? I'm sorry, Dr. Goodwin. I don't get why we have to do this. I thought what we had was going great. Long lunches, going online looking at bad celebrity plastic surgeries.
Dr. Goodwin: Frankie, I know all this new stuff is scary. I was the same way with Indian food, but now bring on the saag aloo. And don't worry, Dr. Samuelson will explain the whole deal.
Frankie: Wait, wait... who?
Dr. Goodwin: Dr. Sommer Samuelson, our fearless leader. Now that we're members of Smile Superstars, we're under her umbrella. Her story is capital "a" Amazing. She came from a bad family... her parents made pottery. And now she owns the 13th largest dental chain in the country. You'll hear it at the convention in Des Moines next week.
Frankie: What? No! I can't afford to go to Des Moines. I had to siphon gas out of the lawnmower to get here.
Dr. Goodwin: That's the best part. Y'all's expenses are paid. Sorry, Frankie. If you're opening a new branch, it's kind of mandatory. Actually, they call it "fundatory."

Dr. Goodwin: Hey! Who is ready for an eight-hour lecture on polymers? I'll give you hint... It's me!
Frankie: Yeah. Can't wait.
Dr. Goodwin: Uh, so, Mike, uh, how's things at the quarry? A little rocky? [laughs] Kidding. Uh, anyhoo, do you guys have seminars, too? [leans in close and looks at Mike's face]
Mike: No. Not really. The job's pretty much the job.
Dr. Goodwin: Mm-hmm. Well, uh, what do you have then? And feel free to go into detail. [leans in closer]
Mike: Drive safe. [walks off]
Frankie: You were looking on the wrong side. I told you, the pain is on his left side.
Dr. Goodwin: Frankie, this is cuckoo. [sighs] I need my chair and my light and my spit sucker.
Frankie: His tooth is killing him, but I haven't been able to get him to a dentist in years, so I am sorry, but if you want to diagnose him, you got to do it here. Now get in there.

Dr. Goodwin: Oh. I see you're drinking coffee. I sure like coffee. Uh, how do you take your coffee? Do you take it [opens mouth widely] bla-a-ck or with cre-e-e-am?
Mike: Black.
Dr. Goodwin: Cool. Ooh! Hey, can I show you my new phone? It's got all sorts of neat stuff on here. It can tell you how many steps you've stepped. It can tell you the temperature in Charlotte. It's even got a camera on it. [camera shutter clicks] Smile! [camera shutter clicking]
Mike: Frankie! [Frankie walks in] Really?
Frankie: Well, I'm sorry, but you've been in pain for months, and you won't go see anybody. You won't go see the dentist. You won't see the doctor.
Mike: And I haven't died yet.
Dr. Goodwin: [sighs] You don't have to feel embarrassed, you know? A lot of people are hinky about the dentist.
Mike: Well, thank you for that, but I'm not hinky about anything. I just don't like the idea of someone poking around where they got no business being.