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The Middle: A Heck of a Ride: Part Two

924. A Heck of a Ride: Part Two

Aired May 22, 2018

The Hecks hit the road as Axl gets ready to start his new job in Denver. Meanwhile, Sean makes a surprising discovery at the airport.

Quote from Frankie

Mike: Frankie, where are you going?
Frankie: No, I can't do this. No. I can't do it. I am not gonna take my son a million miles away. I will not be a part of it. It's just... It's too much. You guys do what you want, but I'm not going. I tried, Axl. I tried to be cool so that you'd come back and visit and I wouldn't lose you forever, but you know what? I'm not cool. I am not okay with this. You know, Indiana Mobile has a family plan for a reason. Because families are tied together. No matter what. We can't all be off using our minutes willy-nilly by ourselves. The minutes are all connected! They are intertwined! 'Cause that's the way it's supposed to be. Indiana Mobile gets it.
Mike: Frankie...
Frankie: No. And you have to appreciate the minutes before they run out. Because this is it. It's really it. [sobs] It's over. The five of us are never gonna be together like this again. Axl's leaving, Sue's gonna take some hotel job, Brick'll be sealed up in his room reading, and Dad'll blow up and I'll find out from a grief counselor! It's the end of an era. And it's never gonna be the same again.
Mike: That's the way it's supposed to be. [they all hug Frankie]
Frankie: Just promise me that no matter what happens or... or where you guys end up, we'll always stay on the same family plan.
Axl: We will.
Sue: Promise.
Brick: Always.
[After the family gets back in the car and drives away, the camera pans down to show the blue bag on the road]


Quote from Axl

Sue: Axl, you're not allowed to talk about my frozen head anymore. We have a pact!
Axl: Point taken. However, we have no pact about freezing your body.
Sue: You can't do that!
Axl: Yep, it's happening. I'm gonna freeze your body and toss your head into McCormick's Creek.
Sue: You can't toss my head into the creek! Small children play there, and they'll find it when they're looking for crayfish!
Axl: Actually, change of plans. I am going to freeze your body and put a horse head on it.
Sue: Fine. Then I'll take that horse's body and put your stupid head on it!
Axl: That'd be awesome. I'd be the coolest horse-man ever.
Sue: You're lying. You're lying! You would not be happy with a horse body!
Axl: Sure I would. I would win the Kentucky Derby and then give interviews afterward. I wouldn't even need a jockey.
Sue: Then I'll take my horse head and run in the Kentucky Derby, too!
Axl: More like the Kendorky Derby. You couldn't get more than two steps without stumbling around with a big, heavy horse head on your stupid Sue body.

Quote from Mike

Sue: Oh, I don't know why I'm crying. I am so freaking happy!
Frankie: Oh, boy. Okay, hold on. I think we got some Kleenex in here.
Mike: Oh, whoa, not that one. That's the new Death Napkin.
Frankie: What? What do you mean? You made a new Death Napkin without me?
Mike: I was just jotting down some thoughts. There was an accident at the quarry last month, big explosion.
Frankie: What? There was an explosion? You didn't tell me you almost got blown up!
Mike: Well, there's nothing to tell. I'm here. If I had blown up, I'd have told you. Well, not me. Human Resources notifies the next of kin. And they got a grief counselor if you want it.
Frankie: You know what? I wouldn't need it.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] So, the day was here... my oldest son was really leaving the nest. I was packing sandwiches and pops for the way there and frosting and tissues for the way back.
Axl: Ready to go?
Frankie: Oh, yes.
Axl: Hey, what happened to the blue bag? It's blue.
Frankie: I backed over the orange one, tuna salad rotted in the yellow one, so I got a new blue one. You get a fresh bag for the trip!
Axl: Mm. Mom, are you doing okay? You've been, like, amazingly chill about all this.
Frankie: Oh, you know, you said you didn't want us to make a big deal, so no big deal. No goodbye breakfast. No teary send-off. And when you come home to visit, this is what you can expect. More of this. Cool Mom all the time. Besides, there's one thing I will not miss around here. Your smelly socks. [sniffs Axl's socks]

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [answers phone] Brick? No, I will not bring out a book to you. Come inside and get it. You called the seat, right? Yeah, so if you called the seat, it's yours. Ugh, fine. Okay, what exactly am I looking for? Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen: The Ladies of White Christmas? Okay, what's it filed under, "B" for "Biographies" or "O" for "Old Lady Books"?

Quote from Mike

Mike: Hey, uh... hang on a second, Axl. Look, uh, before we get going, there's something I wanted to show you.
Axl: Grandpa's old watch.
Mike: Yeah. You know, for years, this was sitting busted on my dresser. You used to like to come in and wear it and play grown-up.
Axl: I remember.
Mike: Yeah. Well, now that you are all grown up, I took it to a place and, uh, got it working again, and I thought maybe... you'd like to have it.
Axl: That's, uh... Wow. [hugs Mike]
Mike: Okay. If you look on the back, it's engraved.
Axl: It's a bunch of numbers.
Mike: It's latitude and longitude of the house. So you'll always remember where you came from.
Axl: Thanks, Dad. I... I love it.

Quote from Sean Donahue

Sean: Sue, people travel the whole world to find their soul mate, but mine has been right across the street all along. I don't know when I started feeling this way, maybe it was when my mom forced me to hold your hand at the zoo so you wouldn't get lost, I don't know. But what I know is that when we kissed, it was the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. Everything about you makes me happy... the way you think, the way you smile. You get excited about everything... the muffin you just ate, the smell of chalk. You are walking sunshine, and I feel like a complete idiot for wasting a single minute by not telling you that. So, now you know how I feel, but you gotta tell me... what does this mean for you? Did you give this to me 'cause I'm your brother's friend? Or 'cause I'm your neighbor? I need you to be super clear with me here, Sue, because obviously we're not very good about being clear.
Sue: Is this clear enough? [kisses Sean]
Sean: I love you, Sue Heck.
Sue: I love you so much back. [they kiss again]

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] And Mike and I? Well, we never won the lottery. We never fixed the wallpaper. We never patched the hole. We never replaced the washing machine. But for all the things we didn't have, we sure had a lot.

Quote from Brick

Axl: I am starving. We need to stop somewhere.
Mike: You threw perfectly good food out the window. We're not stopping.
Frankie: There's granola bars in the blue bag. Wait. Where's the blue bag?
Axl: Oh, Sue left the blue bag!
Sue: Stop flicking me, Axl!
Axl: You leave the blue bag, you get flicked.
Frankie: Don't flick your sister!
Brick: See? This is why I didn't want to sit in the middle! [whispers] The middle.

Quote from Sean Donahue

Sean: I was at the airport to go to Ghana, and I found this in my bag.
Sue: Oh. Uh, yeah, I put it in there as a goodbye gift. This is a long way to come to thank me, Sean.
Sean: No, no, no, no. You don't understand. I bought this for you last year. How did you end up with it?
Sue: I found it in the trash at my apartment.
Sean: That's where I threw it out after Axl told me you were dating someone.
Sue: Axl! Did you tell Sean I was dating someone?!
Axl: I thought you were there for Lexie!
Sean: I told you I liked Sue on New Year's Eve!
Axl: I thought you were drunk!

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