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‘The Ditch’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: The Ditch

423. The Ditch

Aired May 15, 2013

Frankie makes the most of her white lab coat when people mistake her for a doctor while she waits in line at the power company. When Axl mocks Sue for having perfect attendance year after year, she decides to live life on the edge and ditch school. Dr. Fulton (Dave Foley) tries to figure out why Brick doesn't want to go to middle school. Meanwhile, before Axl heads off to college, he and Mike decide to go on a fishing trip for some father/son bonding.

Quote from Sue

Frankie: [v.o.] Sue's ditch day wasn't exactly fun yet. But she knew as soon as she intercepted the call from the attendance office, she could really start living. Provided she stayed low to the ground and out of sight.
Sue: [answers phone] Hello?
Woman: This is the Orson High attendance office. May I speak to Frankie Heck, please?
Sue: [British accent] Yes, this is she! [whispers] Why am I British?
Woman: I'm just verifying that Sue Heck is home sick today.
Sue: [British accent] Oh, yes. She is quite sick. Sick as the Dickens, I'm afraid.
Woman: Well, please make sure she brings a note with a parent signature.
Sue: [British accent] A note?
Woman: Yes. It's a requirement anytime a student has been absent.
Sue: [British accent] Very well. A note. I'll add it to my shed-ule. Cheerio!

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Quote from Axl

Axl: You know, I've never really looked at your room before. When you feel your nerd powers being drained, do you come in here to recharge?
Sue: [scoffs] Get out of here, Axl.
Axl: Oh, I'm going. [clears throat] And you know why? Because a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Sue: Hilarious. Maybe I'll take a journey to the kitchen and tell mom you were in my room!
Axl: Jeez, hang in there, baby. Don't sweat the small stuff.
Sue: Would you just get out?! I don't go into your room and stare at your booger wall.
Axl: Hey! Some of those aren't mine.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Brick, what are you doing in there? Get what you want and shut the door.
Brick: But I've got my middle school placement test tomorrow. Mr. Walker said everyone has to bring a healthy snack.
Frankie: Well... [sighs] yeah. Here you go. Jelly. Jelly's a fruit. Can't get much healthier than that.
Brick: We're out of bread.
Frankie: Even better. You eat it with a spoon, and the vitamins get to your brain faster.
Brick: [sighs] Fine.

Quote from Frankie

Mike: Look at this. We just got a pink cutoff notice from the power company.
Frankie: What? No, they can't do that. We're only at green. It goes green then yellow then pink. Hey, we're good, non-paying-on-time customers. They can't do that to us.
Mike: You're right. We hold all the cards. Somebody's gotta go down there tomorrow and pay the bill.
Frankie: Mm, I guess somebody does.
Mike: Well, I can't. Axl's off school tomorrow, so I'm taking him fishing, remember? Borrowing Ed's boat.
Frankie: [to Brick] Okay. Olives are a vegetable. Two, if you count the little thing in the middle. Now close the fridge. You heard your dad. They're gonna shut off our power.

Quote from Axl

Axl: Whoa! Wait a sec. How many of these perfect attendance certificates do you have? Have you seriously never missed a day of school?
Sue: Why would I not go to school? Axl, the most powerful weapon in the world is education.
[When Sue steps away, there's a poster on her wall reading "The most powerful weapon in the world is education."]
Axl: Hmm. So you've really never skipped school? Never? Not... once?
Sue: No. What if I missed something important?
Axl: Wow. I am seriously worried about you, Sue. That is not normal. I mean, you think... This guy would have ever made it to the top of that mountain if he just sat at his desk every day winning perfect attendance certificates? Methinks he would not.
Frankie: [v.o.] Axl's "methinks" made Sue start to think. Was it true? Did she never leave her comfort zone? Was she afraid to fly? Her posters, once so inspirational, now seemed to be mocking her. Much as she hated to admit it, she was not following the advice of her own walls.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Bye, Dad. I guess Mom already took Brick, so I'm gonna go out and catch the bus. 'Cause it'll be here soon... to take me to school. Mm-hmm.
Mike: Okay.
Sue: Have fun fishing, you guys. I want to hear all about it... after I come home tonight from a full day of school, which I am about to leave for.
Axl: Oh, my God, just go.
Frankie: [v.o.] She was doing it. She was pecking out of that shell. Yep, at the ripe old age of 16, Sue Heck was gonna skip school.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [on the phone] Well, prep the patient, and I'll be there as soon as I can. Is the heart in yet from Seattle Grace? [a woman lets Frankie cut in line] Yes, I know I'm the doctor you come to when no one else can do it, but I'm stuck in line at the power company. Listen to me. We're not gonna lose this kid. I want you to run a CT, a CBC, a chem-7, and a tox screen.
Frankie: [v.o.] Thank you, Grey's Anatomy.

Quote from Mike

Mike: You know, Axl, this is nice. I'm glad we're doing this. You'll be heading off to college soon.
Axl: Yep. Closing the book on 12 years of learning. So glad that's done.
Mike: Yeah. Well, you might not want to close that book completely just yet. College is-
Axl: Whoa! Hey! What are you talking about school for? You're gonna ruin the trip.
Mike: I'm just saying, you didn't exactly light up the world with your report cards. College is a lot of work, and I'm not gonna be there to kick your butt every day.
Axl: Dad, I haven't even graduated yet, and you're already putting pressure on me.
Mike: Look, you're not gonna be able to skate by like you did in high school. It'll catch up to you there. You gotta keep your eye on the ball. [Axl sighs] There's gonna be all kinds of distractions.
[Mike and Axl stare out the window as they pass a field of young women playing volleyball]
Mike: Important to stay focused.
[Their car comes to a halt after driving into something. They look to their left as the boat they were towing rolls past the car and crashes]

Quote from Mike

Mike: All right. All right. All right.
Axl: [sighs] I'm sorry. Wh- What was that again you were telling me about, uh, you know, not getting distracted?
Mike: All right.
Axl: [laughs] 'Cause that was hilarious. I mean, you were totally checking out those girls.
Mike: Hey, it was a large group. All right? You look at a large group of anything: gazelles, ants, RVs.
Axl: So, uh, what are you gonna tell Mom? 'cause, uh, I'm allowed to look at girls, but I'm pretty sure you're not.
Mike: Hey, your mom spends an awful lot of time Googling Brian Williams.
Axl: Yeah. Wouldn't go with that one.

Quote from Brick

Dr. Fulton: Hey, Brick, you know, I just thought we could chat. Huh? So... what's up? What's the haps? Que pasa, as they say in some lands, hmm? How are things at home? Anyone on drugs?
Brick: Well, our power's gonna be turned off, and my parents are sending my brother away. Also, I had secret agent kittens in my closet.
Dr. Fulton: Oh. Th-- uh... Does anyone else see these kittens?
Brick: Oh, no. They're gone now, 'cause they got famous.
Dr. Fulton: Oh...

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