510. Sleepless in Orson
Aired January 8, 2014
Frankie and Mike are concerned when Brick gets in a funk over a constant stream of negative headlines. Sue is surprised when Derrick Glossner shows up at her place of work and kisses her again. Meanwhile, Darrin launches his own Boss Co. franchise now that Axl and Sean are at college.
Quote from Mike
Mike: Look, Brick, you're freaking yourself out here. The news is on 24 hours a day now, so they got to keep drumming up scary stuff so people will watch.
Brick: But it's all true. It's all stuff that's really happening.
Mike: Sure, but what you got to do is ignore it. That's what I do. Anything that's gonna be bad news: TV, the internet, parent/teacher conferences... I ignore it. Embrace denial. You'll be much happier. Then, when you turn 21, embrace beer.
Frankie: [sighs] Nice parenting there, Dad.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: The point is, things aren't really as bad as they make them sound. Did you know there's actually fewer kidnappings now than there were 20 years ago? It's just 'cause we get our news faster, so we hear about them more often.
Brick: So, I shouldn't be worried about being kidnapped?
Frankie: No, of course not.
Brick: Then why can't I go to the mall by myself or talk to strangers?
Frankie: Well, you still have to be on alert.
Brick: For what?
Frankie: You know, for things that will never happen but you should still be cautious about.
Brick: You just said I don't need to worry about being kidnapped. Why do I need to be cautious?
Frankie: Look, you don't. You shouldn't think about it at all. But... j-just keep it in the back of your mind.
Quote from Brad
Brad: Sue, I've been here an hour, and you haven't even asked about me. How's my girlfriend in Canada? She's great. Thanks for asking. How come I'm not driving my Miata? The mechanic says it needs a makeover. Boo. Did I get the male lead in the Annie musical? You bet your bottom dollar I did.
Quote from Brick
Mike: What's going on, Brick? I thought you were gonna sleep in your bed.
Brick: Oh, hey. Actually, I was asleep in bed, and then I woke up and started to worry about the Asian stock market. It opens early, you know.
Frankie: Of course.
Brick: Well, I started to feel a little anxious, so, taking Dr. Fulton's advice, I came out here to do some jumping jacks, and while I got the jumping part right, when it came to the jacks, my coordination was a little off, and I bumped into the fireplace, and Mom's royal baby goblet fell and broke.
Mike: That's okay.
Brick: I wanted to fix it, so I Googled "Gluing a broken goblet," and it took me to this interesting web page about Buddhism. It said a person should imagine the things they love broken and destroyed because in the future, everything ends up that way anyway.
Brick: So, I imagined the house burned down and you and Sue and Axl all dead and all my books gone and I had no one left in the world, and it started to make me feel better.
Frankie: It did?
Brick: Yeah. Suddenly, things made sense. It's like this Buddhist guy says. "You see this goblet? For me, it is already broken. I enjoy it. I drink out of it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over and it shatters, I say, 'Of course.' When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious." So I've decided, from now on, I want to spend every moment I can with the things I cherish most. [Frankie holds her hands out for a hug] So, I'll be in my room with my books. Try not to bother me.
Quote from Brick
Frankie: Is it my imagination, or has Brick gone a little off the deep end?
Brick: So it's not just me? That kid has no concept of personal space. It's like I got a tiny second shadow.
[flashback to Brick reading a book right next to Mike on the otherwise empty couch:]
Mike: Plenty of room there, buddy.
Frankie: Ha. That's nothing.
[flashback to Brick walking into the patient room while Frankie is getting a gynecological exam:]
Brick: It's been more than 20 minutes.
Quote from Darrin
Sean: What are you doing? The three of us are the only bosses of Boss Co.
Axl: Yeah, that was the deal. We split everything... 50, 50, 50.
Darrin: I had no other way to make money. You guys both have scholarships. I have to pay for A/C school on my own. Plus, dating Angel isn't cheap. She has fancy tastes. Every time we go to the bowling alley, she orders meat on our nachos. It's a $3 add-on.
Quote from Brick
Frankie: You want Cheerios powder or Rice Chex dust?
Brick: I'll take half of each with just a skosh of milk.
Frankie: Brick, what are you doing under there? Why aren't you sleeping in your room?
Brick: Well, I can't. I'm a sitting duck in there.
Frankie: [sighs] What is going on? You've been acting weirder than usual, and that's really saying something.
Brick: Well, you know how there was that article in the paper about the break-in at Joe's Subs? What if that happened here?
Frankie: Oh. So that's what's been bothering you?
Brick: Yeah. My bed's right by the window. It's the perfect entry point for a burglar.
Frankie: Brick, you're getting yourself all worked up for nothing. That Joe's Subs thing was one isolated incident. Orson is one of the safest towns in the state.
Mike: I promise you, nobody's breaking in here. Think about it. Joe's Subs has two things we don't: money and good food.
Quote from Sue
Sue: I mean, it's terrifying. He could show up here at any time. I can't even go in my own front yard anymore.
Brad: Sue, I'm getting a little tired of talking about Derrick Glossner.
Sue: I know. Don't you think I'm sick of it, too? You think I want to be up all night thinking about Derrick Glossner? I mean, I never know when he's just gonna show up and do something like that again. It's like every time I hear a motorbike, it's like, "Oh, God, is that him? Am I gonna get kissed?" [holds up two sweaters]
Brad: The left one.
Sue: I just don't know what's going through his head. He is such a rebel. I mean, yes, he does have a really good smell to him, and you wouldn't expect something like that from a Glossner. It's like honey and danger.
Quote from Brick
Frankie: Sandwich night!
Brick: [tablet beeps] I got a text alert. Oh, boy. Building collapse in Norway. 18 dead, 47 trapped. [tablet beeps] Toxic water leak at Japanese power plant. Government blames dead worker. That's not good.
Frankie: Okay, seriously, Brick? Now you're taking on the whole world's problems? Can't we just sit and enjoy our dinner?
Brick: Sure, if you want to live in denial.
Mike: We do.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: Sue, what are you doing?
Sue: Oh, uh... I thought I heard something outside.
Brick: Why, is somebody out there?
Mike: Brick, stop worrying and put the iPad away. Sue, get in here and sit down. Axl, shut it.
Axl: I didn't say anything.
Mike: Well, save that one for the next time you want to talk.