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‘Thanksgiving II’ Quotes Page 1 of 5    

The Middle: Thanksgiving II

209. Thanksgiving II

Aired November 24, 2010

Frankie wants the Heck men to share their feelings on Thanksgiving after Big Mike (John Cullum) gets out of the hospital with a broken hip and Rusty (Norm Macdonald) is living in a tent.

Quote from Rusty

Mike: What the hell happened?
Rusty: Huh? Oh. Well, you know how it is with the economy.
Mike: The economy burned down your house?
Rusty: Well, no, that was, uh... That was a massive fire.
Mike: Why didn't you call me?
Rusty: Are you a fireman?
Mike: I'm your brother, for God sake. How'd this happen?
Rusty: Eh, well, I was, uh, runnin' the hot plate about four weeks ago, and I noticed one of the cords was frayed. I kept telling myself, keep your eye on that. But wouldn't you know it? I fell asleep facedown with a cigarette in my mouth. I blame myself partially.

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Quote from Rusty

Rusty: [to Aunt Edie] No kidding? You're still driving? Well, that's just terrifying. [both laugh] You know, you're eating butter, by the way.

Quote from Big Mike

Mike: Dad.
Big Mike: Son.
Mike: They told me at the desk you broke your hip three weeks ago. Why the hell didn't you call me?
Big Mike: Do you fix hips?
Mike: I live 15 minutes away. You don't think I want to know when my dad goes into the hospital?
Big Mike: Oh, you got your own concerns. I was fine. I-I dragged myself on my belly from the yard into the house, knocked the telephone onto the floor, and dialed with my face. [chuckles]

Quote from Big Mike

Mike: When was I supposed to know this? I only found out 'cause I went by the house to invite you to Thanksgiving.
Big Mike: Oh, no. You don't want an old man with a broken hip at your Thanksgiving.
Mike: That's true, but my wife does. Please, Dad. Please, please, please come to Thanksgiving.
Big Mike: Oh, I don't want to be a bother.
Mike: It's not a choice, Dad. The nurses say you gotta be discharged tomorrow, and they can't let you go home alone. Don't worry. We got TV and crummy food at our house, too.
Big Mike: You don't exactly roll out the red carpet, do you?

Quote from Rusty

Mike: Well, listen... I came out to find you 'cause dad broke his hip. Never even told me he was in the hospital.
Rusty: For crying out loud. What does it take that old man to pick up a phone, huh?
Mike: Yeah. Well, he's gonna stay with us through Thanksgiving. I'm guessing you're not doing anything for Thanksgiving yourself.
Rusty: Wasn't planning anything big.
Mike: Why don't you come stay with us? It'd be nice for the kids to see you.
Rusty: Oh, you still got the kids, huh?
Mike: Yeah, the state makes you keep 'em until a certain age.
Rusty: Well, uh, I don't want to be a bother.

Quote from Aunt Edie

Aunt Edie: I loved Dick Peterson. But he was a Black man, so it was forbidden. It was a different time. Just a different time.

Quote from Mike

Frankie: Mike, your dad is dragging himself around on his belly. Your brother's living in a tent. They might not see the problem, but there is one. You've gotta figure something out.
Mike: [sighs] Well, I guess what would make the most sense is for Rusty to move in with Dad for a while.
Frankie: That's great. Now if there was only a way to transmit ideas from one person to another.
Mike: I'm not gonna tell 'em what to do, Frankie. They're grown men. I don't want to be a bother.
Frankie: Oh, no. Mike. Mike, stay with me. Resist the pull of history, Mike. Do not be swept down that river with them. You have to be the sane one.
Mike: Fine. We'll get into it... At the half.

Quote from Bob

Lisa: So you really read all of Dickens?
Brick: Yep. I started last summer and finished by the spring.
Bob: When I was his age, I was quite the reader myself. No Dickens, though. I was homeschooled. My reading list was all about how to avoid the devil.

Quote from Mike

Frankie: Well, at least we'll still have my aunts and your dad. You invited your dad, didn't you?
Mike: Yeah, of course. You asked me to. I'll do it.
Frankie: Oh, come on!
Mike: Just he makes it so damn hard. He's gonna say that he doesn't want to be a bother, and I'm gonna say, "You won't be," and he'll say, "Oh, I don't know," and I'm gonna wind up begging him to please, please, please come to Thanksgiving. It happens every year.
Frankie: I want family in this house, Mike. Otherwise it's not Thanksgiving. It's just overeating.

Quote from Bob

Frankie: Well, I'm up to eight people for Thanksgiving, so it should feel pretty full. You're not gonna bail on me, are you?
Bob: No. Mm. You have to let me bring something.
Frankie: Okay.
Bob: I was thinking maybe yams... String beans... And my girlfriend.
Frankie: Really?
Bob: Yes. I was trying to slip it in as if she was another food but it's not. It's my girlfriend.
Frankie: Wow! You have a girlfriend? Bob, that's great. Oh. So is this someone you've actually... You know, met?
Bob: Of course. She's a librarian at the public library. I would never have the strength to approach her if I hadn't been listening to this motivational podcast. It has given me the confidence to just deal with people differently.
Frankie: That's right. I remember last week when Pete tried to take the meat out of your sandwich, and you didn't let him.
Bob: I didn't let him!

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