Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, that's me, trapped in an office supply store at 4 in the morning. How'd I end up here? How does anyone end up anywhere they don't wanna be? Either drugs or kids.

Frankie: There you are.
Frankie: [v.o.] Finally, Mike showed up with the kids to make sure I got sprung. The Craigs had gotten their baby. Brick got his lice medicine. And though she hadn't heard yet, Sue was not feeling confident about her chances of making majorettes.
Frankie: Yeah, well, I've had some time to think... while I've been in here... and I've figured out a few things... You know, I guess there're some families somewhere... where the moms don't have to yell, but you know what? We're not one of them! Do you know why I pester and nag... and get on your case, and yell like a crazy person? Because nothing ever gets done if I don't! So that's what we're going back to. I don't care if it makes me look bad, I... [inaudible dialogue]
Brick: What is she saying?
Mike: I don't know. Just bow your heads. Look ashamed. Now nod. Nod like we know what she's saying.

Frankie: I am. I'm gonna quit yelling.
Mike: Hm.
Frankie: What? You don't think I can?
Mike: I think it's gonna be like when you quit sugar. One day later, I found you on the bathroom floor sucking frosting out of the tube.
Frankie: I don't want my kids growing up and saying to some shrink: "Yeah, all my mom ever did my whole life was yell at me."
Mike: [laughs] They're not gonna be able to afford a shrink.

Frankie: Okay, guys. I've decided I don't like the way I sound on the tape. It seems like once in a while I raise my voice...
Axl: Once in a while you don't raise your voice.
Frankie: Okay, the point is, we've gotten into a bad pattern. I nag, you don't listen and I end up yelling. So from now on, I will calmly ask you to do something once. Then you'll show me you can listen and I'll show you I don't need to yell.
Brick: So you're gonna stop nagging?
Frankie: I'm gonna start trusting that you can do the things I ask you to.
Axl: What do we get if you do yell?
Frankie: It doesn't work that way.
Sue: We should get something.
Frankie: That's not what this is about.
Brick: How about a Tootsie Roll?
Sue: Oh, I like waffles.
Axl: That's stupid. We should get money.
Frankie: Okay, this is not some kind of contest for prizes. This is about us becoming the family where the mother doesn't have to yell! Starting now.

Frankie: Kids, can you come in here? Come on, everybody. Come on in. Sit down. Everybody, sit down. Okay. We are gonna watch some educational television. Now, there's been some bad behavior going on, and I think it's time I brought it to your attention. And I must warn you, what you are about to see is not pretty.
Axl: [on video] Seriously. When did you hatch this plan to ruin my life?
Axl: Hey, you recorded me?
Axl: [on video] make me do is make me some mindless zombie here...
Frankie: [on video] Obviously I don't have to destroy your life, Axl. Because you're doing a pretty damn good job of it yourself. Hey. Time is passing, Axl!
Frankie: Okay. Wait. Hold on. That's the wrong spot.
Frankie: [on video] I did my homework! Why do I have to do your homework?

Frankie: Okay. There we go.
Sue: [on video] ...and it will be all your fault!
Frankie: Not so pretty, Sue, is it? Hm?
Frankie: [on video] My fault? Why is everything my fault? I suppose it'll be my fault if you forget to call Mrs.
Craig and tell her you can't sit on Thursday? Am I talking for my own health here?
Frankie: Wait, wait, wait. That's wrong.
Frankie: [on video] I have had it with you. All you have to do around here is flush the toilet and do your homework. Do you have any idea how lucky you are? Do you? Do you? [video jumps] Someday I'll be dead and you'll wish you could hear my voice! [video jumps] This is the last time I'm telling you! [video jumps] I'm not telling you again! [video jumps] I will not say this one more time!
Frankie: So let that be a lesson to you.

Frankie: I trust them, then they'll feel respected, and then respect me in return by doing what they're told. It's like a trust circle. Actually, a trust-respect circle. Or is that an oval? I don't know. It's kind of a whole new concept, so we're still trying to figure out the shape.

Frankie: Whoa, whoa, I thought you were babysitting for the Craigs Thursday night.
Sue: I'm gonna have to cancel.
Frankie: Are you sure that's a good idea, honey? I'm just saying, we don't know what's gonna happen with majorettes. But if you go to babysitting at least you know you'll have six dollars.
Sue: Mom, with the swine flu outbreak I have a real shot this year. A lot of good people are down.

Sue: How do I look? I can take it. I need some constructive criticism. Tryouts are Thursday.
Axl: You know what would really impress the judges? If you lit the ends on fire like they do in Hawaii.
Sue: This is a serious sport, Axl. They don't just let anyone wear the white patent-leather boots. [glass breaking]
Axl: Oh, man, that would have been so much cooler on fire.

Frankie: Brick? Oh, that's right. It's hat day next week. Good job staying ahead of schedule. That's definitely a crazy hat.
Brick: It's hat day next week? Oh, no, I need a hat.
Frankie: Uh, Brick?
Brick: This isn't for hat day. That would be embarrassing. I just wanted people to pay attention at breakfast. Yesterday, none of you said a single word to me.