Mike: Happy anniversary.
Frankie: Oh, honey. I don't have anything for you.
Frankie: [v.o.] I had long ago learned not to get Mike presents.
[flashback to Mike holding a "Sort 'N Save Home Coin Sorter":]
Mike: What the hell is this? What'd you give me this for? I mean, thanks, but... What'd you spend on this? You got the receipt, right?

Axl: Hey, can I drive to school today?
Mike: No, not today. Your mom and I have a lot to do. Plus, we don't wanna die.
Axl: If I don't get to practice driving, I'm never gonna get my license.
Mike: That's why we taught you to walk.

Frankie: [v.o.] The problem is, I had to work that day. But when you're a working mom, you gotta get creative.
Frankie: Okay, there's ginger ale in the cup holder. If you need anything, honk twice.
Brick: I wish I could stay home and watch TV and have you make me soup.
Frankie: Oh, sorry, honey. Wrong family.
Brick: Is it against the rules for me to be here?
Frankie: Of course not. Just keep your head below the window.

Mr. Ehlert: I'm about done being Mr. Nice Guy. The month's almost over and sales are... What in the name of good God Almighty is that?
Bob: It's a houseplant.
Mr. Ehlert: A houseplant? This is not your house. How many times have I told you? No bringing personal items into work.
[As Mr. Ehlert lectures his staff, Brick walks into the dealership in his pajamas.]
Mr. Ehlert: The only thing any of you need to be worrying about taking care of is me. You don't need a houseplant stealing your focus... from what you should be working on, selling cars.
[Brick grabs a donut from the counter behind Mr. Ehlert]
Bob: I'm sorry, sir. I'm not thinking clearly. I gave blood this morning.
Mr. Ehlert: Well, don't do it again.
Bob: It was very selfish of me, sir.
[Brick grabs a newspaper from the table]
Mr. Ehlert: Did they give you a cookie? [Bob hands his cookie to Mr. Ehlert] Thanks.
[Brick walks out of the dealership with a donut and a newspaper]

Frankie: Lou, did you see the red sedan that was parked here? [Lou shakes his head]
[meanwhile, Pete sits in the passenger seat as a customer takes a test drive:]
Pete: Hear that engine? This baby's got 260 horses.
Brick: [sits up] Can you play the radio? [whispers] Radio.

Frankie: How could this happen? I purposely put Brick in the ugliest car on the whole lot, and marked it up by 25 percent.
Man: [on PA] Frankie, the, um, package that you left in the back of the red sedan... has been placed in the green hatchback. And Pete says it needs a Kleenex.
Mr. Ehlert: Frances, what the hell is your son doing here?
Frankie: Mr. Ehlert, I am so sorry. It's just been the worst day.
Axl: Hey, Mom.
Frankie: Oh, you're talking about Axl... who is here because he got his learner's permit... and we are thinking of buying him a car.
Mr. Ehlert: All right. Show him that yellow car. It's got a tape deck. [walks away]
Axl: You're buying me a car?
Frankie: Wrong family.

Bob: So, Ax, I hear you play football?
Axl: Yeah.
Bob: I used to play a little ball myself when I was your age. In those days they called it foosball. Wrists used to swell up something awful. Seems like yesterday I was right where you are now. I'll tell you, though, a driver's license changes the whole deal. Once you're out of that house, whew boy. No family for me. It's all Bob, all the time. If I wanna go to the arcade again tonight until it closes, I do it. No family wondering where I am. I'm a bag in the wind.
Axl: Dude, are you crying?
Bob: Eyes on the road.

Frankie: [v.o.] My aunts Ginny and Edie had been smoking and coughing for almost 70 years without considering there might be a connection between the two.
Aunt Edie: Damn arthritis. I'm sorry to bother you, but here it is 6:00 and we can't open our medicine. Oh, and another thing. I failed my driving test today, so you're going to have to help get us around.
Frankie: What?
Aunt Edie: I have a foot appointment Tuesday. And she has get her wheelchair tuned up on Thursday. And while it's there, you will have to carry her around. But don't worry, she's not that heavy anymore.
Frankie: Okay. Hold on, I'm gonna have to write this down.
Aunt Edie: And, dear, could you make me a sandwich?
Frankie: [v.o.] I should have figured this was the way the world worked. Soon as the kids gain a shred of independence, the old folks spring a leak.

Frankie: Okay, Mike, I'm all packed for tonight. But I need to swing by the mall at 5 and pick up Aunt Ginny at the eyeglass place. We should be on the road by 8, 8:30 tops.
Mike: Sounds like somebody wants to get to the Route 33 Motor Lodge. [pats Frankie's rear]
Frankie: Ha, ha. Mike.
Axl: Do you two even know what you look like?
Frankie: Okay, Axl, you're in charge, and I want you to know we trust you.
Axl: Then I should have the car keys in case there's, you know, an emergency.
Frankie: I trust you with the kids, not the car.

Frankie: Aunt Ginny, I am so sorry. I... [the dog is wearing breathing apparatus] It's the dog? The dog has emphysema?
Aunt Edie: [hold a cigarette] Poor Doris. How could this have happened?