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‘The Name’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: The Name

418. The Name

Aired March 27, 2013

Frankie's sister, Janet (Molly Shannon), arrives to lighten her load as Frankie studies for her dental school finals. Sue wants to finally change her middle name, which is also Sue, before she gets her driver's license. Meanwhile, Cassidy's ex-boyfriend shows as Axl meets her parents.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Nope. Did not get it.
Frankie: Oh, well, not everybody passes the first time.
Sue: Yeah. Apparently, they have this list of infractions, that if you do any of them, it's an automatic fail.
Frankie: Mm.
Sue: Speeding, failing to obey signs, backing over a curb, running off the road...
Frankie: What did you do?
Sue: All that.
Mike: She even clipped the side of the building. They're adding that to the list for next year.
Sue: Right.

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Quote from Axl

Axl: Does it have to be a name? What about a sound, like... "uch"?
Sue: You can't have a name that's a sound.
Axl: Why not? It's what people always say anyway. "Hey, look, here comes Sue. Uch." Think it might work. U-C-H. "Uch."
Brick: Wouldn't "uch" start with an "E"?
Axl: Mm. Maybe a silent "Y."
Frankie: Her name's not gonna be "uch."

Quote from Brick

Sue: Okay, guys, I have been making a list of my new middle names, and I will now present to you the top candidates.
Janet: Oh, yay. This is fun.
Sue: "Bijou."
Axl: Gesundheit.
Mike: I like "Bijou."
Brick: I like "Gesundheit."
Frankie: Yeah, what else you got?
Sue: Okay, next name, "Coco."
Mike: Okay. "Coco" it is. Done and done.
Brick: How committed are you to Sue? 'Cause I think "Coco Gesundheit" is a great name.
Frankie: Sue's not changing her name to "Coco Gesundheit."

Quote from Axl

Axl: [yells over hairdryer] Mom! Where's my favorite shirt?
Frankie: I thought your favorite shirt was your chest.
Axl: Don't try to be funny. It's just sad.

Quote from Frankie

Janet: [o.s.] Wow. You do not stack your pans, do you? [clanging] [loud clatter]
Frankie: You okay in there?
Janet: [o.s.] Quick question: where do you keep your strainer?
Frankie: We don't have one. We use the filter on top of the coffeepot. If you have a problem with caffeine, don't make spaghetti.

Quote from Frankie

Sue: Hey, Mom, guess what? I was thinking about my driver's test the other day, and, yeah, feeling kind of bummed. And then it hit me... I am so lucky.
Frankie: How do you figure?
Sue: Well, if I had passed, my driver's license would have said "Sue Sue Heck," which would have been a disaster.
Janet: Oh, my God, Frankie, do you mean to tell me that you still haven't changed her middle name?
Sue: It wasn't my fault. It was a mistake at the hospital.
Janet: You have to right this wrong. Look at this: Sue Sue Heck is your procrastination personified. It's a message that you send out to the world saying, "My parents do not care, my parents are lazy, my parents would rather watch TV than..."
Frankie: Fine. She can change it.
Sue: Aah! Aah! I'm so excited! We all know how important middle names are.

Quote from Frankie

Sue: I was also thinking I could go with something more like a place name. "Paris." "Brooklyn." "Gatlinburg."
Mike: Three more winners, right there.
Sue: Dad, you're just agreeing with whatever I say. I really have to figure this out before you take me to the courthouse on Thursday.
Mike: I'm taking her to the what-house?
Frankie: Well, I'm not doing it. I have to study. And Janet apparently thinks this is the perfect time to change her name.
Mike: Then maybe you should budget your time better, like your sister said.
Frankie: Oh, yeah, side with her. It's her fault we're doing this right now.
Janet: Well, Frankie, you should have done it a long time ago.
Frankie: Well, if he would have filled out the form correctly...
Mike: You were there, too, Frankie.
Frankie: Yeah, I was busy pushing a person through my legs. What were you doing?

Quote from Sue

Sue: You know what? Forget it. I'll pick it on my own. I'll just pick a name at random, and that'll be it. "Bertha."

Quote from Brick

Brick: I've got my bridge project due tomorrow.
Frankie: What bridge project?
Brick: We have to build a bridge out of popsicle sticks.
Frankie: And you're just starting now?
Brick: No, I'm not. I've been eating popsicles for a week.
Frankie: Brick, we could have just bought the sticks, and you could have been using this time to build the actual bridge.
Brick: What? You could have told me that before I went up a pants size.

Quote from Sue

Sue: "Gertrude." Okay, maybe one more shot. "Sylvia." What year is this book from?

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