Sue: Nope. Did not get it.
Frankie: Oh, well, not everybody passes the first time.
Sue: Yeah. Apparently, they have this list of infractions, that if you do any of them, it's an automatic fail.
Frankie: Mm.
Sue: Speeding, failing to obey signs, backing over a curb, running off the road...
Frankie: What did you do?
Sue: All that.
Mike: She even clipped the side of the building. They're adding that to the list for next year.
Sue: Right.

Axl: Does it have to be a name? What about a sound, like... "uch"?
Sue: You can't have a name that's a sound.
Axl: Why not? It's what people always say anyway. "Hey, look, here comes Sue. Uch." Think it might work. U-C-H. "Uch."
Brick: Wouldn't "uch" start with an "E"?
Axl: Mm. Maybe a silent "Y."
Frankie: Her name's not gonna be "uch."

Sue: Okay, guys, I have been making a list of my new middle names, and I will now present to you the top candidates.
Janet: Oh, yay. This is fun.
Sue: "Bijou."
Axl: Gesundheit.
Mike: I like "Bijou."
Brick: I like "Gesundheit."
Frankie: Yeah, what else you got?
Sue: Okay, next name, "Coco."
Mike: Okay. "Coco" it is. Done and done.
Brick: How committed are you to Sue? 'Cause I think "Coco Gesundheit" is a great name.
Frankie: Sue's not changing her name to "Coco Gesundheit."

Axl: [yells over hairdryer] Mom! Where's my favorite shirt?
Frankie: I thought your favorite shirt was your chest.
Axl: Don't try to be funny. It's just sad.

Janet: [o.s.] Wow. You do not stack your pans, do you? [clanging] [loud clatter]
Frankie: You okay in there?
Janet: [o.s.] Quick question: where do you keep your strainer?
Frankie: We don't have one. We use the filter on top of the coffeepot. If you have a problem with caffeine, don't make spaghetti.

Sue: Hey, Mom, guess what? I was thinking about my driver's test the other day, and, yeah, feeling kind of bummed. And then it hit me... I am so lucky.
Frankie: How do you figure?
Sue: Well, if I had passed, my driver's license would have said "Sue Sue Heck," which would have been a disaster.
Janet: Oh, my God, Frankie, do you mean to tell me that you still haven't changed her middle name?
Sue: It wasn't my fault. It was a mistake at the hospital.
Janet: You have to right this wrong. Look at this: Sue Sue Heck is your procrastination personified. It's a message that you send out to the world saying, "My parents do not care, my parents are lazy, my parents would rather watch TV than..."
Frankie: Fine. She can change it.
Sue: Aah! Aah! I'm so excited! We all know how important middle names are.

Sue: I was also thinking I could go with something more like a place name. "Paris." "Brooklyn." "Gatlinburg."
Mike: Three more winners, right there.
Sue: Dad, you're just agreeing with whatever I say. I really have to figure this out before you take me to the courthouse on Thursday.
Mike: I'm taking her to the what-house?
Frankie: Well, I'm not doing it. I have to study. And Janet apparently thinks this is the perfect time to change her name.
Mike: Then maybe you should budget your time better, like your sister said.
Frankie: Oh, yeah, side with her. It's her fault we're doing this right now.
Janet: Well, Frankie, you should have done it a long time ago.
Frankie: Well, if he would have filled out the form correctly...
Mike: You were there, too, Frankie.
Frankie: Yeah, I was busy pushing a person through my legs. What were you doing?

Sue: You know what? Forget it. I'll pick it on my own. I'll just pick a name at random, and that'll be it. "Bertha."

Brick: I've got my bridge project due tomorrow.
Frankie: What bridge project?
Brick: We have to build a bridge out of popsicle sticks.
Frankie: And you're just starting now?
Brick: No, I'm not. I've been eating popsicles for a week.
Frankie: Brick, we could have just bought the sticks, and you could have been using this time to build the actual bridge.
Brick: What? You could have told me that before I went up a pants size.

Sue: "Gertrude." Okay, maybe one more shot. "Sylvia." What year is this book from?