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‘The Play’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: The Play

309. The Play

Aired November 16, 2011

After Frankie encourages Sue to audition for a local theater production of The Wizard of Oz, she manages to land a part herself. Meanwhile, Brick asks his notoriously flaky Uncle Rusty to visit his school.

Quote from Rusty

Frankie: [v.o.] So over the clutter and through the stoves, to grandfather's house Brick went.
Rusty: [opens door] Oh. Hey, I know you. From that time we ate turkey. You're Kevin. Kenny!
Brick: Brick.
Rusty: Well, if you say so.
Brick: Actually, Uncle Rusty, I was looking for Grandpa Big Mike. Grandparents and Special Friends day is coming up at my school, and I wanted to see if he could come to my class.
Rusty: Nah, they're tearing down a Red Roof Inn in Traverse City, and, uh, Dad's down there picking up 40 toilets.
Brick: Shoot. I'm straddling check, check-minus territory here. I could really use the extra credit. Hey, maybe you could come.
Rusty: Well, what are they paying?
Brick: Uh, they're not paying anything.
Rusty: Oh. [chuckles] Well, uh, I've been looking for a reason to put on a pair of pants, so sure.

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Quote from Rusty

Rusty: So, uh... Oh, you... You want a cup of coffee? Uh, d-do you drink coffee?
Brick: Nope.
Rusty: Oh, no, no, no, no. Coffee's bad. Cigarettes are bad, too. I gotta go have both, but, um, let me be a cautionary tale for you.

Quote from Rusty

Mike: Rusty, what the hell? Where were you?
Rusty: Oh, I was in my room, and then I heard the door, and then I came here.
Mike: Brick's Grandparents and Special People Day. Any of that ring a bell?
Rusty: Oh, well, I-I don't think that was, uh, that was actually a firm commitment.
Mike: [scoffs] Nothing's ever a firm commitment with you. This is what you do. You didn't even bother to show up at my wedding.
Rusty: [chuckles] Well, who has a wedding on a weekend?
Mike: Everyone on Earth.

Quote from Rusty

Rusty: Hey! It's Brick's Uncle. I'm here for, uh, Grandparents and Special Friends Day.
Brick: You've gotta be kidding me.
Science Teacher: Uh, th-that was last week. Th-they're taking a test. Now is really not the best time.
Rusty: Oh, no, it's not the best time for me at all, but I'm here, so how does this work? What, do they, uh, sing me a song, give me a cupcake or somethin'?
Science Teacher: Oh. Well, I-I guess we might have a minute. Uh... is there... anything you'd like to share with the students?
Rusty: Yeah. Yeah, I got somethin'. They tell you you gotta learn your ABCs, but what they don't tell you is, you gotta learn them backwards while balancing on one foot with a flashlight in your face while some guy you went to high school with calls you a punk on account of he became a cop and you swerved a little and hit a fire hydrant. Ha!

Quote from Rusty

Rusty: Hey, come on. I'll take you to lunch.
Brick: Uh, I don't know. I think I'm supposed to tell the principal if I leave the school.
Rusty: No, we don't need to bother the principal. They don't want some stranger coming in, saying he's gonna take a small child. [chuckles]
Brick: Hmm.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] High school. In some ways, it was a lot different for Sue. In other ways, it was exactly the same.
Frankie: Oh, no. Lacrosse tryouts?
Sue: I'm never gonna make anything.
Frankie: Did you leave the price tag on your helmet?
Sue: Yeah.
Frankie: [sighs] Good girl.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Uh, Mom, can we call Grandma Pat and Grandpa Tag?
Frankie: Oh, Brick, you want to talk to them?
Brick: Not really, but Grandparents and Special Friends day is next week at school, and we get extra credit if we bring a grandparent or a special friend.
Frankie: Well, Grandma and Grandpa are on their cyber seniors computer cruise, remember? They're not gonna be home for a couple of weeks. Maybe... Grandpa Big Mike?
Brick: Great! Give him a ring and work out the deets, and let me know when it's all confirmed.
Frankie: Oh, wouldn't it be awesome for you if I was the kind of mom that would do that?

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] I don't know which one of us was enjoying it more. Yes, I do. It was me. I realized I never do anything just for the joy of it, just for fun. Being in a play was like being part of a family. Well, the kind that puts their dirty dishes in the sink, not on the back of the toilet. Yep. I was having the time of my life.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Well, Uncle Rusty stood me up.
Mike: What?
Brick: Yep. A little embarrassing. I was the only one there without a special friend. At least Charlie's grandpa talked to me for a while. Did you know President Obama's not a U.S. citizen?

Quote from Rusty

Brick: You know, when you said lunch and bowling, I didn't realize you could do it all in one awesome place.
Rusty: [chuckles] Yeah. Hey, you're a pretty good bowler, too, you know? What did you end up with?
Brick: 39.
Rusty: 39. That's pretty good for a 7-year-old.
Brick: No, I'm 10.
Rusty: Oh. Well, you should be better then.

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