Brick: Hang on. This is wrong. None of us are being fair to Mom here. Maybe if you made your case.
Frankie: Oh, please. I am not gonna make my case. [mouth full] Okay, fine. First of all, I'm the one that does all things kid-related. I sign all your permission slips, I run out and get you poster board, I clean that cesspool you call a backpack.
Mike: Frankie, don't do this.
Frankie: Oh, I'm doing it. Do you know all three of your heads were unnaturally large, thanks to your giant favorite parent over here's weird genetic quirk? And that after 27 months of carrying you people around, I can no longer sneeze or laugh or jump in the bouncy house without peeing?
Mike: They don't really need to know that.
Frankie: Okay. What about tonight? Who's the one that got us out of the house, that packed the blue bag full of tasty chicken, and searched the newspapers for the best park with the best view of the best fireworks, all so we could create one stinking memory of "this"? Well, if anybody's still confused, it was me. Me, me, me. So just lie down, stop talking, and start watching, because nothing says summer like fireworks!
[After the family lay down and stare up at the skies, fireworks go off in the distance behind them]
Frankie: Nobody... say... anything.

Mike: I'm just saying, East Indiana State is closer. You gotta consider that. We still don't know how much they're gonna play you, but I like the package they're putting together.
Axl: [mouth full] I don't want to be closer. I wanna be as far away from you people as possible. It's like when Tevye decided his town was too small, so he went on the flying car to New York to become a cop.
Mike: You do know that's three separate movies?

Sue: Dad, I know you're aware that since the incident at the drive-in, I've kinda been freezing you out.
Mike: Mm-hmm?
Sue: I guess I just sorta felt like Serpico when his toymaker friend betrayed him, you know, before the pogrom guys burned down the wedding.
Mike: Again, three separate movies.

Sue: You know, Dad, I'm not surprised you wanted to drive together so you could talk to me alone.
Mike: What are you talking about? I had to stop at work first, and you said you wanted to come with me.
Sue: I get it. I've been out of control. I'm sure you're very disappointed in my behavior.
Mike: Well, you've been sort of annoying with that scrapbook.
Sue: No, it's good you're intervening now, 'cause I am at a crucial point in my life where I could go either way. I mean, I stopped taking my multivitamins, so I don't know where that's gonna lead. Yep. Probably got a lot of attention headed my way, and not the good kind. [Mike turns the radio onto a sports game] I've done some bad things, dad. Bad things. Yesterday I was at a health fair, and there was a booth with a basket of chapstick, and I took one. Maybe they weren't even free. I don't know. They could've been for sale, and I just shoplifted. Whatevs. Oh, God. [vomits out the window]

Axl: Well, I can explain. All right, the first half of the year, I didn't even know I was taking it. I thought I had a free period, then everyone was too far ahead, and I was totally lost.
Frankie: In English?
Axl: That shouldn't even be a requirement. I've been speaking it, like, half my life.
Mike: How long were you planning on hiding this from us?
Axl: I swear, I was gonna tell you right after I did something good, but nothing good happened, so...
Frankie: If you're gonna sit around this house waiting for good things to happen, you got a long wait, mister.

Axl: It's not that big of a deal. It's one class. I can just take it next year.
Frankie: No, you can't. You've got a full course load as it is. Damn it, Axl! We were gonna spend one last summer together, and now I gotta scramble around to see if I can even get you into summer school!
Axl: No! No school in summer. Those things together are an oxymoron. Whoa. I think I used it right. See? I know this stuff. The passing grade is just a formality. Please, don't make me go to summer school. What about the... the... the... the "this"? Huh? You said that was very important. I'll go outside right now and hit tennis balls.

Frankie: Okay, let me tell you what's gonna happen now. You are going to go to summer school, and you are going to excel, or I am gonna reach under that bed of yours and choke you with whatever else I find there!
Axl: God. That's so typical. You just focus on the one bad thing and completely ignore all the C's and D's.

Frankie: [v.o.] So we dragged our poor victims off into the night toward a future fond memory made just for them by... yeah, awesome parents who care.
Frankie: Oh, boy. Check this out.
Axl: [shouts into the speaker] Yeah. Hi. I'll have a large fries and...
Frankie: Axl.
Mike: Let him order. He'll figure it out soon enough.

Sue: Dad, I made up a bunch of questions for us to ask each other. I call it "The Summer of Sue and Dad" Survey, which when abbreviated spells "SOSAD," but it's not. It's the opposite of that. It's happy.
Mike: Mm. How long is this gonna last?
Frankie: Your daughter loving you? I don't know.
Sue: Okay, question one... Which character on Glee do you most identify with and why?

Frankie: They really are pathetic, Mike. All they care about is getting 100,000 coins for Farmville or Pac-Man or whatever it is they're playing.
Mike: I'm pretty sure they're not playing Pac-Man.
Frankie: The point is, Axl's gonna be a senior. This might be the last summer we're all together as a family. I just don't want them clicking it away. We have to reactivate them. Kind of like that smelly dead thing in the car.