Brick: Can we keep one? I promise I'll take care of it this time. [whispers] I'm lying.

Brick: I'll do it.
Mike: No, Brick, I don't think you will do it.
Brick: Why not? Why can't I? Give me one good reason.
Frankie: [v.o.] We could give him a whole lot of good reasons.
[flashback to Frankie scooping a dead goldfish out of a fishbowl and putting it down the garbage disposal]
[flashback to Mike using a pair of tweezers to remove a dead hamster from its cage and placing it in a shoe box]
[flashback to Brick reading a book on his bed:]
Digital Pet: You forgot to feed me. I am dead.

Frankie: Honey, how about I help you find something to wear to the audition?
Sue: Oh, yeah, right. Like you know what's cool. I'm sorry. I'm just so sorry.
Frankie: It's okay. We'll find something.
Sue: Nothing that would make anybody like me. Mom, all the cool kids have Citizens Of Humanity jeans, and I am the only person in the entire school who doesn't.
Frankie: Honey, I believe that it's not what people see on the outside that makes you popular. It's what's inside. You have to let your inner light shine through.
Frankie: [v.o.] Hold your smile, keep eye contact, see if she buys it.
Sue: That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Frankie: [v.o.] Damn.
Sue: Mom, junior high is hard. People judge you for every little thing, if they even notice you at all. I just wanna be judged. Didn't you ever want something so bad that you'd die for it?
[flashback to a younger Frankie looking at a shoe in a shop window with the label "As Seen on Charlie's Angels"]

Mike: Oh, hey, Brick. The aunts are back from Vegas. They're coming to pick up Doris. Where is she?
Frankie: Brick? Did something happen to that dog? And don't forget, I can always tell when you're lying.
Frankie: [v.o.] Brick has a tell when he's lying.
[flashback:]
Frankie: Brick, did you break the lamp?
Brick: No. [whispers] I'm lying.
[present:]
Brick: Okay, I'm just gonna tell you the truth. Doris is gone. She's gone. Her wagon is empty, and I don't know where she went. Congratulations. You were right. Being responsible is not my strong suit. I'll be in my room thinking about what I've done.

Sue: [gasps] My jeans.
Brick: Puppies.
Frankie: Doris, what were you thinking? You were almost home free and now you're starting over? Big mistake, Doris, big mistake.
Frankie: [v.o.] Yup, the next few years wouldn't be easy... hormones, dating, driving. But whenever I got frustrated, I remembered the look in that dog's eyes, and thought, "At least I got it better than Doris."

Frankie: [v.o.] The teen years. The clothes may change, the hair may change, what gets pierced may change... but one thing doesn't change, teenagers suck. The crying, the mood swings, the unpredictable behavior.
Frankie: Axl, you better get up or you're gonna miss the bus. I am not telling you again. Get up. Get up. Get up.
Axl: Hey.
Frankie: You're up.
Axl: Yeah, I got up early, decided to take the trash out to the curb. Got the paper for you. That's a pretty blouse, Mom.
Frankie: [v.o.] Like I said. Unpredictable behavior.
Mike: [to Frankie] Okay, I'll search his backpack. You go over there and very casually check his breath.
Frankie: Okay. Don't look, but he's actually pouring cereal into a bowl. I said, don't look.
Mike: What's his game?
Frankie: You know what? He's 16 now. Maybe we're through the worst of the teen crap. Maybe he's grown up. Maybe things are finally about to get a little easier around here now.

Brick: Please can I watch her? Doris is the most fun dog ever.
Frankie: [v.o.] Doris is not the most fun dog ever.
Mike: Brick, the problem is that you get distracted and you forget stuff, and the back yard is too frozen right now to dig a new grave.
Brick: But I won't get distracted this time. I promise.
Mike: The dog is pretty old. She dies on Brick's watch, they can't really pin it on us.
Frankie: Okay, against all judgment, you can watch Doris.
[Brick doesn't respond as he reads a book]
Mike: Brick, we said okay.
Brick: To what?
Frankie: Watching the dog. Doris? The dog.
Brick: Oh, right. Great.

Axl: Mom. Dad. Listen, I wanna talk to you guys about something.
Mike: You're gonna have to marry her and you can't live here.
Axl: Listen, I'm 16 now. And I think we can all agree that I've proven myself to be responsible.
Mike: You took out the garbage once.
Axl: And I brought in the paper. [chuckles] So, you know, I think you guys should consider the fact that I really deserve my own car.
Frankie: [v.o.] And there it was. The reason Axl was being so nice. See, ever since Axl got his driver's license a few weeks ago, he'd been chomping at the bit to drive every chance he could get.
[montage:]
Frankie: I need eggs. [Axl grabs the car keys]
Frankie: I need milk. [Axl grabs the car keys]
Frankie: I need tampons. [Axl runs to Frankie and then decides against taking the keys]

Mike: You want a car? You're gonna have to work for it and earn it yourself.
Axl: Yeah, I had a job. It sucked. But I still want a car... so you see my dilemma.
Mike: Well, you know, I have a job and a car... so you see the connection.
[Sue growls and groans]
Axl: You know, if I had a car I could take her to the insane asylum.

Frankie: Sue, what are you doing?
Sue: All my clothes are stupid and ugly. And... Ugh! Stupid.
Frankie: [v.o.] She needs help. Where did I stash that last bag of Halloween candy? Oh, right, in my mouth during Grey's Anatomy.