Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The Bachelor’ Quotes Page 1 of 4    

The Middle: The Bachelor

419. The Bachelor

Aired April 3, 2013

Frankie spirals after the series finale of The Bachelor doesn't go the way she expected. Mike tries to get Sue to be more competitive when she lucks into a position on the tennis team. Meanwhile, Axl and Cassidy try to move on after their big argument.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Whoo! What a game. I mean match. I learned that one halfway through. I have to replace my electrolytes. You are looking at the newest member of the Orson High tennis team.
Frankie: You made the tennis team?
Sue: Well, I didn't "make it," per se. The coach thought I was on the team. I tried to tell him that I wasn't, but then he realized that he didn't have enough players, so without me, they would have lost the match.
Mike: So you won?
Sue: Oh, God, no. On the last point, I hit what my coach called a "very weak lob," and my opponent hit what he called a "blistering overhead smash."
Frankie: Is that how you hurt your face?
Sue: No. A bird flew in the bus window on the way home. I never saw it coming. Beaks are sharp.

Rate

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: All right, just a heads-up, the finale of The Bachelor is on tomorrow night. So if you want dinner, you're gonna have to drive and get it yourself.
Mike: Okay.
Frankie: Hey, if you wanna take me on a romantic helicopter ride over a volcano in Hawaii, be my guest. Until then, this is my escape.
Mike: I thought The Oscars were your escape.
Frankie: I have a lot to escape from, okay?

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: Hey, Brick, listen-
Brick: Yeah, I know. The Bachelor.
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, everybody knew that when The Bachelor was on, I was 100% focused.
[montage of the kids approaching Frankie while she watches TV:]
Axl: I got a D on my geography test. Teacher says you have to sign it.
Frankie: Good job.
Sue: Can I stay out past my curfew tonight? Darrin and I are gonna go make out in his car.
Frankie: Have fun.
Brick: Lost another library book. They said we need to pay full price to replace it.
Frankie: Hmm. [hands Brick her wallet]

Quote from Sue

Sue: So the next match is against Terre Haute, and my coach said he really wants me to, uh, what's the word?
Mike: Quit?
Sue: Drill. So, Dad, I was hoping you could go out and do some drills with me.
Mike: Mm.
Sue: Please? You're the only person who could help me get better.
Mike: I don't know, Sue. Every time I try to teach you a sport, I yell, you cry. It's a whole thing.
Frankie: What your dad is trying to say is that he would love to help you.
Sue: Oh, yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, and, Mom, I'm gonna need to pay for this uniform, so I'm gonna need a check for... You know what? I'll ask you during The Bachelor.

Quote from Mike

Mike: Wow. Sue, I gotta say, you are not totally horrible at this.
Sue: Wha... Oh, Dad, stop. You're embarrassing me.

Quote from Mike

Mike: I'm telling you, Frankie, she kept her eye on the ball. She moved her feet. She had some power.
Frankie: Mm-hmm. [eats chip] Ugh! [spits] Chip clip, people! Not that hard!
Mike: She was really good. I mean, all in the realm of Sue, but she's not a disaster.
Frankie: Oh, that's great.
Mike: Are you even listening to me? You remember Sue, right? The one who threw a baseball into her own eye?
Frankie: I'm sorry, Mike. This is a big night for me. Blake is choosing between Alissa and Kendall. Are you sure you don't wanna watch with me?
Mike: I've never been so sure of anything in my life.
Frankie: Suit yourself.

Quote from Sean Donahue

Frankie: Axl, is there a difference between a chat room and a message board?
Axl: Yeah. One's for losers, and one's for total losers.
Sean: Actually, Mrs. Heck, a chat room is like a conversation with a person, like we're having right now, and a message board is just a place for you to post your thoughts.
Frankie: Thank you, Sean. And would you mind staying and being my son?

Quote from Axl

Darrin: Dude, what's up with the chick food?
Axl: What? Me and Cassidy used to get together on Wednesday nights to make these big salads, but screw it. I don't need her to make a salad. She's not the president of salad. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna Instagram this so she can see me makin' a salad.

Quote from Axl

Sean: So you and Cassidy are done? What's going on? Caxl's breaking up?
Axl: I don't know. But I'm a man, so I'm not gonna go crawling back and ask her. Who wants candied pecans?
Darrin: You know, sometimes when Sue and I are having a fight, I just reach out and gently touch-
Axl: I swear to God, Darrin. [voice breaking] You guys want fresh croutons?
Sean: Dude, seriously?
Axl: Hells, yeah! Give me some day-old bread. I'll make 'em right now.

Quote from Mike

Mike: Looking good, Sue! Ready for Lawrenceville on Friday?
Sue: Oh, are you kidding? I can't wait. They have such a pretty campus.
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they do. But, uh, listen, Sue, I wanted to talk to you. Um, you were awful nice out there the other day, complimenting the other team.
Sue: Thanks, Dad.
Mike: Well, let me finish. See, sports isn't about being nice. Sports is about being competitive. It's about wanting to beat the other person.
Sue: Oh. I think I remember my coach saying something about that.
Mike: Okay. So if you really wanna win, you gotta dig down deep. You gotta get in touch with that anger.
Sue: What anger?
Mike: The anger that's inside you.
Sue: I don't have any anger inside me. [gasps] Dad, do you have anger inside you?
Mike: A little bit.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode