Brick: I'm beginning to feel like a literary character I've recently discovered. You see, there's this boy with a very round head, and he has a dog that sleeps on top of his doghouse. Apparently, he was a World War I fighter pilot. If you can suspend disbelief, it all works.
Sue: You're talking about Charlie Brown.
Brick: Then you've heard of it!
Sue: Everyone has.
Brick: Great. So I'm the last to know. Will the indignities never end? Axl's getting paychecks, you're on a nonstop vacation. Why is it never my turn? What does the universe have against me? [a baby picture of Brick falls off the wall and shatters]
Sue: It's okay, Brick! We can put up another picture of you.
Brick: There is no other picture of me.

Sue: I don't know. It's just, like, every year at the end of the year, I look back to see how well I completed the goals I set for myself, but this year, when I look back, it just feels like the year was kind of "meh."
Brad: Wow, this is serious. I've never heard you "meh" about anything.
Sue: I know, right? But the "meh" kind of fits. I almost got kicked out of school for not paying. I didn't join any new clubs. I broke up with two guys. Maybe it was my fault because I didn't label it. I mean, my second Year of Sue was my best Year of Sue, and my first was my second, so I thought this would be my first, but it turns out it's my third. Actually, you know what? I can't even call this a Year of Sue. If I had to label it, I would call it a Sue Sue So-So Sophomore Slump.

Axl: It's not my fault. Professor Hanawalt is so lame. Our paper's due Halloween night. Who does that?
Mike: Well, how long you known about this?
Axl: He sprung it on us like a month ago.
Mike: Axl, it's not gonna get done if you're sitting here. You know what you do? You drive to campus, go to the library, look at the card catalog, you check out a book on the subject...
Frankie: I think what your grandpa here is saying is that you need to go to a place where there's not a lot of distractions, and the library is not a bad place to do that.
Axl: Ugh! I don't like the library. It's quiet, it's boring, and I don't know where it is.

Mike: Hey, hey, hey, hey! Hey! All right! That's it! That's it! We're shutting it down! Party's over! Here we go. You guys shouldn't be celebrating Valentine's Day anyway, because it's a scam cooked up by the greeting card companies. You know what you should be doing? You should be studying. 'Cause guess what they're doing in China right now? They are doing math and they're learning how to be C.E.O.S of greeting card companies so they can sell us Americans a heart-shaped load of crap!
[cut to Mike returning home:]
Mike: Banned.

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, that's me, trapped in an office supply store at 4 in the morning. How'd I end up here? How does anyone end up anywhere they don't wanna be? Either drugs or kids.

Sue: Brad, what are we gonna do? Lexie's practically throwing herself at Axl.
Brad: I know. It's so sad. When someone's not into you, you have to move on. You got to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Ricky Martin is happily married with two kids. It's not worth the stamps, Bradley."

Mike: Happy anniversary.
Frankie: Oh, honey. I don't have anything for you.
Frankie: [v.o.] I had long ago learned not to get Mike presents.
[flashback to Mike holding a "Sort 'N Save Home Coin Sorter":]
Mike: What the hell is this? What'd you give me this for? I mean, thanks, but... What'd you spend on this? You got the receipt, right?