TV Quotes

Brick: Okay, it wasn't easy, but I believe I have some real winners here. Cinnamon-roll pretzels.
Frankie: Done.
Brick: Fire-roasted chipotle.
Frankie: Done.
Brick: Garlic, sun-dried tomato, parmesan.
Frankie: Done.
Brick: Ah! Why are they coming to me for ideas? They've already thought of everything! The chimes, the chimes. I can't think!

Brick: [on the phone] I can definitely get you three plants, Mr. Hayes. But if you want them by Christmas Eve, I'm gonna have to add a $5 rush fee. All right.
Frankie: Brick...
Brick: It's okay. I'm gonna use the money from these to pay for the cozies, which paid for the peppermint bark, which paid for the popcorn, which paid for the wrapping paper.
Frankie: How are you gonna pay for the poinsettias?
Brick: Oh, these were free. I got them from the park.
Frankie: What park?
Brick: The park with the dead people.
Frankie: The cemetery?! You stole flowers from the cemetery?! What the hell were you thinking?! [sighs] Quick, get these inside.

Sue: The junior high got permission to move the Halloween dance to nighttime! Sorry, Brick. Guess you're on your own this year.
Brick: Yes! Finally.
Frankie: [v.o.] For years, Sue had dragged poor brick around as part of her Halloween costume.
[montage:]
Sue and Brick: [dressed as a dog and fire hydrant] Trick or treat!
Sue and Brick: [dressed as an ice hockey player and puck] Trick or treat!
Sue and Brick: [dressed as a chicken and an egg] Trick or treat!
[present:]
Sue: Well, excuse me for wanting your childhood to be fun, unlike Axl ever did for me.

Frankie: Okay, let me tell you what's gonna happen now. You are going to go to summer school, and you are going to excel, or I am gonna reach under that bed of yours and choke you with whatever else I find there!
Axl: God. That's so typical. You just focus on the one bad thing and completely ignore all the C's and D's.

Mike: Happy anniversary.
Frankie: Oh, honey. I don't have anything for you.
Frankie: [v.o.] I had long ago learned not to get Mike presents.
[flashback to Mike holding a "Sort 'N Save Home Coin Sorter":]
Mike: What the hell is this? What'd you give me this for? I mean, thanks, but... What'd you spend on this? You got the receipt, right?

Sue: That wasn't all! You guys didn't see the whole thing. Mom kept throwing me things, and she kept saying, "Put it in the cart! Put it in the cart! Put it in the cart!" And everyone went nuts and started grabbing things. I had to fling myself on the cart to stop them. So, I hope you enjoy your iTouch, Brick.
Frankie: Fine. You guys judge me with your judge-y little eyes. Go ahead. Everybody wants great Christmas presents for low, low prices, but nobody wants to know how it gets done. Nobody wants to get their hands dirty. Well, I did it. I did what I had to do. That's what it takes to pull off Christmas with no money. And it's not pretty.
Axl: I had to drop three classes.

Sue: Okay, so, what do we do? Dad didn't give us enough drywall to fix a hole this big. He's gonna freak out.
Brick: I'm not gonna lie. It's gonna be really rough for you.
Sue: Me? You're the one who did this.
Brick: Well, you're the older sister who left her little brother to do major home repair on his own. Besides, if Dad flips out, I can just play the quirk card. I shrug, I look confused, throw in a few whoops and whispers, lick something if I have to... I'm off scot-free.
Sue: Oh, my God. You're diabolical.
Brick: I am not diabolical. [whispers] Diabolical. [normal voice] It's so easy. [whispers] It's so easy. [normal voice] Okay, that one wasn't planned.