The Middle Quote of the Day
Tuesday, March 19, 2024
Quote from Mike in Exes and Ohhhs
Brick: Check out this story from the Orson Herald from 1954. "Local woman finds hat in tree."
Mike: Local man on couch wants peace and quiet.
Brick: I'm telling you, Dad, this is a bottomless fountain of information. Ooh, here's one from August 1932. "Have you seen this dog?" I wonder if they found it.
Mike: That dog is dead. Everyone who cared about that dog is dead. The new dog they bought to get over the pain of losing that dog is dead.
Brick: You're a mean, mean man.
Mike: Eh.
Recent Quotes
Monday, March 18, 2024
Quote from Frankie in The Table
Frankie: It's dollhouse furniture, Mike. That's why it was only 50 bucks. I mean, who on earth pays 50 bucks for doll furniture?
Mike: Apparently, we do. [Frankie sighs]
Mike: Frankie, how'd this happen?
Frankie: Hey, you're the one who said, "get it."
Mike: Wasn't there a picture?
Frankie: Yes... That made it look like a regular table in a regular room. I mean, come on, that is not how you take a picture of a doll table. This is how you take a picture of a doll table. You take a table. You take a pen. You put them next to each other. The person looking at the picture says, "Oh, this table's only as big as a pen. I can't have Thanksgiving dinner on it."
Sunday, March 17, 2024
Quote from Rusty in Guess Who's Coming to Frozen Dinner
Rusty: That's why I gave Beth the necklace.
Mike: Who's Beth?
Rusty: That's your daughter. Beth.
Mike: Her name is Sue.
Rusty: Oh, I thought that was the little one's name.
Mike: He's a boy.
Rusty: Huh. You never heard of a boy named Sue?
Mike: I heard of the song.
Rusty: That's a song?
Mike: Anyway, it was an extravagant gift that came out of nowhere, so...
Rusty: Well, I just thought she should have it. She deserves it. I mean, things are tough enough for her going through life with a boy's name, you know?
Saturday, March 16, 2024
Quote from Frankie in Bunny Therapy
Frankie: [v.o.] So after agreeing we were smarter than a therapist, Mike and I went about fixing Brick's tic in the way only loving parents can do.
Brick: Whoop.
Frankie: Knock it off.
[later, as Brick and Mike sit at the table:]
Brick: Whoop. [Mike honks horn] Whoop. [Mike honks horn] Whoop. [Mike honks horn]
[later, Frankie is cleaning and Brick grabs a drink from the fridge:]
Brick: Whoop.
Frankie: Stop it! [sprays Brick with water] Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!
Friday, March 15, 2024
Quote from Brick in Homecoming
Brick: Dad, then can I ask you a question?
Mike: Kinda wondering why you didn't.
Brick: Okay. Where do the leaves go, you know, after the raking?
Mike: You ask Bob about football and I get leaves?
Brick: Well?
Mike: Well, we'll take 'em down to the dump, and they'll put 'em in the incinerator.
Brick: What?! You never said they were gonna burn 'em!
Mike: Well, what did you think was gonna happen?
Brick: I thought maybe we'd take them into the forest and set them free.
Thursday, March 14, 2024
Quote from Sue in Thank You for Not Kissing
Sue: And what you may not know is, the symbol of the unicorn has greatly impacted cultures throughout history. Obviously, we all know they're not real. Even if a little girl on cold medicine once thought she saw one out her window, she did not.
Wednesday, March 13, 2024
Quote from Axl in Unbraceable You
Mike: I hope he's not gonna charge us to do the whole thing again. It's gonna put us in the poor house. Look at her. It's like a demolition derby going on in there. She's gonna have braces on for six more years. She'll have them on at her wedding.
Sue: What?!
Axl: Why are we still throwing money at this? Just move her to a bell tower in Paris and call it a day. [squirts whipped cream into his mouth]
Upcoming Quotes
Wednesday, March 20, 2024
A quote from Axl in the episode The Map.
Thursday, March 21, 2024
A quote from Sue in the episode Average Rules.
Friday, March 22, 2024
A quote from Brick in the episode Major Changes.
Saturday, March 23, 2024
A quote from Brick in the episode Great Heckspectations.
Sunday, March 24, 2024
A quote from Lexie in the episode Halloween VIII: Orson Murder Mystery.