Brick: Well, thank you for showing up. I-I'd better get over to the dessert table. I grabbed some loose cookies from your nightstand. They're in my backpack.
Frankie: Actually, Brick, I took care of that.
Brick: Wow. Why would Nancy Donahue do a whole table dedicated just to me?
Frankie: Nancy didn't do it. I did it.
Brick: How did you find a store that had cupcakes with my name on them?
Frankie: These aren't from the store. I made them. I did it all this myself. I was up till 4:00 a.m. baking, cutting out decorations, blowing up the balloons, making your favorite lime-green JELL-O salad.
Brick: Oh, my God. It isn't even Thanksgiving.
Frankie: Brick, I just want you to know, we could not be more proud of you. And this is proof, 'cause I hate doing this. I mean, it's easy to do things you like for people, but doing something you hate... that's love.
Brick: Thanks, Mom. I love you, too.

Lexie: So, uh, is he still dating April?
Sue: Ugh. I don't know what's going on with them. They got married, then divorced, now they're dating. It's weird.
Lexie: Huh. So, are they, like, exclusive?
Sue: [scoffs] God, Lexie, you sound like my friends in high school who used to like... [gasps]
Lexie: Don't make me say it.
Sue: Don't say it.
Lexie: I don't want to say it.
Sue: Don't say it.
Lexie: I like Axl.
Sue: No, you said it! [crying]

Frankie: Brick, hello? I ask you if we have anything to be proud of, and you're talking to me about acing some stupid geometry test? You made National Honor Society!
Brick: Oh. Right.
Frankie: W-Why didn't you tell me?
Brick: I don't know. I didn't think it was that big a deal. Plus, every time there's an event at school, you and Dad roll your eyes. Then if you do come, you show up late. You always complain about having to bring a dessert, even though we usually just stop by on the way and grab some store-bought cookies. You sit on the end of the row, so that way you can leave early, and...
Frankie: Okay, okay, okay. I get it.

Sue: Okay, Lexie and I are all packed and we're heading back to school. I feel bad, though. I think we Hecked up Lexie.
Lexie: [coughing] [congestedly] Thank you again for letting me stay here. It was a super-fun week... five stars on Trip Advisor!
Frankie: Aww, well, it was great having you, Lexie. Come anytime. Our house is your house... or at least a much smaller version.
Lexie: [sneezes] Oh, is... is Axl around? I wanted to say goodbye.
Brick: No, he left. He said Spring Break '17 will go down as the most pathetic in history and he was ashamed to be a part of it.
Lexie: Um, my throat's closing up, so I'd better go. [coughing]

Axl: Something to be proud of? Let's see... the miracle that this evolved from the hillbilly water slide that is you and Dad's DNA.

Sue: Oh, my God, Lexie. I am so sorry. I grabbed you the extra pillow from the bottom of the closet. Doris must've been sleeping on it.
Lexie: Does she have fleas?
Darrin: Oh, no. I don't think so... not anymore. It's probably just our detergent. It's really cheap. You have to get used to it.
Lexie: Or it could be the sheets. What's the thread count?
Sue: What's that?
Lexie: You know, the number of threads woven together in the fabric.
Sue: I have no idea what you're talking about. What's better... higher or lower?
Lexie: Higher.
Sue: Then they're lower.

Ms. Prescott: Our next student is Brick Heck. [applause]
Brick: Mom, is that you?
Frankie: Uh, y-yeah.
Brick: I thought I recognized your annoying clap. [over the microphone] What are you doing here? What happened to Finian's Rainbow with Grandma?
Frankie: She got her friend Sparkle to go with her.
Brick: Hey, everybody, my mom and dad are here. [takes photo] They never usually come to stuff.
Frankie: W-We come to stuff. W-We both work.

Frankie: [v.o.] Travel... a rare opportunity to visit other cultures and see how they live.
Sue: We're here. Welcome to Casa Heck.
Lexie: It's so cute!
Frankie: Well, a few other words come to mind, but I'll take "cute" any day. We're so happy to have you here for spring break, Lexie.
Lexie: Thanks, Mrs. Heck. Oh, my God. I love how the kitchen is right near the entry. It's so convenient. At our house, the kitchen is so far away. It's a hike. To get there, you have to go through two hallways, the family room, and the great room.
Mike: Well, you don't have to worry about that here. None of the rooms are great.

Lexie: Well, I love it. It's just so homey. And as a thank-you for letting me stay in your super-cute home, I got you this.
Frankie: Oh, look at this bag. Is this the gift? Can I keep this? [chuckles] Holy crap. This is beautiful.
Lexie: It's for your fine candies.
Frankie: Oh. Well, around here, the candy usually goes right from the bag to my mouth. Hey, Brick, go find a place for this where it'll look nice.
Brick: The Donahues'?
Sue: Come on, Lexie. I'll give you the tour.
Mike: I think it looked best in the bag.
Frankie: Yeah.

Frankie: Hey, do we have anything to be proud of?
Mike: No, not that I can think of.
Frankie: That's what I thought, but Nancy Donahue drove up while I was getting the mail and kept going on and on about how proud I should be, and I had no idea what she was talking about.
Mike: Why didn't you just ask her?
Frankie: I couldn't. I had already told her I was so proud. I couldn't go back on it after I'd already agreed with her. I'd look stupid.
Mike: You know, historically, looking stupid hasn't always been a deterrent for you.
Frankie: [sighs] The nerve of her, asking me if I'm proud. She knows darn well we don't have anything to be proud of. [gasps] That's it. She's proud-baiting me. She's got something she's proud of and she's just trying to get me to ask her about it.
Mike: I've helped as much as I can here.