Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The Potato’ Quotes Page 1 of 3    

The Middle: The Potato

503. The Potato

Aired October 9, 2013

After Frankie and Mike are forced to return the church van, Sue looks for a job so she can afford her own car. Axl spends more time at home after his college roommate turns out to be a total slob. Meanwhile, Frankie and Mike get "the call" from Brick's principal (Rachel Dratch) to say he has not been attending any of his classes.

Quote from Axl

Axl: There you are... finally!
Frankie: Axl, what's going on? Why aren't you at college?
Axl: I have the world's worst roommate. I'm not kidding. The guy is a total pig. He leaves his crap everywhere.
Frankie: Really?
Axl: And he farts constantly, even though he's like two feet from my head!
Sue: Really?
Axl: It's impossible rooming with the guy! He acts like I don't even exist.
Brick: Really?
Mike: Does he eat all your food?
Axl: Yes.

Rate

Quote from Sue

Sue: Okay. I think I figured out a system for the three of us to share two cars.
Frankie: Sue.
Sue: Just hear me out. I promise you guys won't be inconvenienced at all.
Mike: You're already wrong, but go ahead.
Sue: All righty. Dad, you're the blue line, Mom, you're the red line, and I'm the green car keys. On Monday, I'll drive Mom to work, and Dad will pick her up on his way home from the quarry. Then, after Wrestlerette practice, I'll grab Brick from the library, and Dad will drop mom at the frugal Hoosier on his way to his softball game. Now, Tuesday might get a little complicated. It involves four different drop-offs, and Brick would have to drive, but only for one block.

Quote from Sue

Sue: I am so glad you guys are here. Brad and I canvassed the mall looking for job applications, and I really need help narrowing down my choices. Okay, Tacos Olé has super-cool uniforms, but the Yamamoto Beef Bowl smells amazing! This is so hard! It's just like Sophie's choice. My friend Sophie is getting a puppy for her birthday, and she can't decide between a Corgi and a Beagle.
Frankie: You know, Sue, there's also a movie called Sophie's Choice.
Sue: Oh, really?! Was it about dogs? Was it sad? Oh, wait... don't spoil it for me. I'm gonna go start filling out these job applications. And, you know, a lot of these don't have space for a personal essay. I guess I'll just attach my own.

Quote from Brick

Brick: I really didn't mesh with the Pre-Algebra teacher, so I switched to Geometry. I'm not a big fan of US History, so I tried European History, which wasn't great, but I got a seat by the window, which I loved. I swapped Spanish 1 for Spanish 3, and my Biology teacher was a bit dry, so I decided I'd give Shop Class a whirl, which I'm very happy I did because I'm halfway through building what I'm told is a bird house.
Mike: Brick, that's not what Sue meant. She meant that if you don't like a teacher, at least you get to go to another one later, not in place of.
Brick: Oh, that's very different... but I'm assuming I still get to keep my three lunch periods?
Frankie: Well, you have 425 other students to take care of, so we'll just get this one out of your hair.
Principal Barker: Uh, before you go, Brick has six weeks of homework to make up for in five different classes. Me llamo Principal Barker. Boom. Get out of my office.

Quote from Axl

Frankie: Hmm. What is like living with someone like that?
Axl: Mm. I could tell you some stories. [wipes nose on Brick's shirt] Anyway, I'm gonna need you guys to kick in an extra 50 bucks a month so I can move into a single dorm. $60 gets me a pond view... just saying.
Mike: Great. I'll just call the bank and have them release some money from your discretionary fund.
Axl: Awesome. Now, if you can just scoot three feet to your right, this will have been the perfect conversation.
Mike: Axl, we're not giving you any money.
Axl: It's only 50 extra bucks a month!
Frankie: Axl, your dad's wearing a belt he found on a park bench. We're not giving you any more money.
Axl: Oh, come on! We have all worked so hard to get me to where I am. Now is not the time to give up!
Mike: Actually, we're very comfortable giving up.
Axl: So that's it? You're just gonna cry poverty? It's not like you guys are doing everything you could do. Mom, you can't possibly say you're working to capacity. I mean, you're home now, aren't you? And, Dad, you could pick up a few extra night shifts. I mean, what are you rushing home to, anyway?

Quote from Brick

Brick: But I have been going to class.
Frankie: Are you lying?
Brick: No.
Frankie: Are you just in so deep you feel like you can't get out of the lie?
Mike: He's not doing his tell. Say, "I've been going to class."
Brick: I've been going to class.
Mike: Say, "I like sports."
Brick: I like sports. [whispers] I'm lying. [normal voice] I swear I've been going to classes. Look, here's all the homework I've been doing. And here's my Spanish test.
Mike: You got an A-minus on this.
Brick: It's one of my favorite classes. Now, can I please go do my homework? Or as Señor Frederick says, "¿puedo ir, por favor, terminar mi tarea ahora?"

Quote from Mike

Mike: Brick! [no response] Kids are never around when you want them and always around when you don't.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Say hello to the new Potato Girl at Spudsy Malone's!
Frankie: Oh, congratulations! So the interview went well.
Sue: It was amazing! The manager offered me the job so quickly. He was super decisive. You don't normally see that kind of maturity in a 14-year-old. He was really impressed. At one point, I was reading from my essay, and he even said, "I don't need to hear any more."
Frankie: Wow.
Sue: And check out this awesome pin. "Try our new tuna and cheese potato. I love it!" And they even gave me a free one to take home. I'm so excited. [eats] Oh. Must've been a bad bite. Ugh. That was even worse than the first one. [spits out] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not happening!
Frankie: Honey, what's the problem?
Sue: The problem is, I am gonna be wearing a pin that says, "Try our new tuna and cheese potato. I love it!" And I clearly do not love it.
Frankie: Well, Sue, it's just a job. You don't have to like what you do. It's-- it's like cleaning people's teeth or parenting.
Sue: All I know is I am finally working at a fast-food stand in the mall, which is awesome, but now my dream is turning into a nightmare! I won't be selling delicious Idaho potatoes with your choice of 34 different toppings. I'll be selling lies!

Quote from Mike

Mike: Well, look what the cat dragged in.
Frankie: Hey, Brick. How was school?
Brick: Great.
Mike: I bet. I'd like school, too, if I never had to go to class.
Frankie: We got a call from your Principal. You haven't been going to any classes? Come on, Brick. Lick all the windshields you want, but go to class.
Brick: What are you talking about?
Mike: Uh... look, here's the deal you can be quirky or irresponsible, but you got to pick one.

Quote from Brick

Principal Barker: I'm very sorry, but all of Brick's teachers said he hasn't been attending classes. Ms. Henderson, Mrs. Kimball, Mr. Purdy...
Brick: Oh. Who are they?
Principal Barker: Your teachers.
Brick: I don't think so. I don't know any of those people.
Frankie: What?
Brick: Oh, wait a minute. Those must have been the names of the teachers I got on the first day. Yeah, I didn't go to any of those classes. Sue said I didn't have to.
[flashback:]
Sue: Trust me, Brick. Middle school is so much better than elementary school, 'cause, like, in elementary school, you have to stay with the same teacher all day. But in middle school, if you get bored with one class, it's not so bad because you get to switch classes.
Brick: Hmm.

Page 2 
 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode