Season 2, Episode 13 - Aired January 19, 2011
Mike is delighted when he finally gets Brick to show an interest in football ahead of Super Bowl weekend. Meanwhile, Frankie thinks her career prospects are looking up when Mr. Ehlert asks her to join him at a management seminar.
Quote from Brick
Brick: Is that about the Super Bowl?
Brick: Can I see it?
Brick: [reads newspaper] Wow. This is really fascinating.
Mike: It is?
Brick: Yeah. See this font? It's Copperplate Gothic. I'd love to meet the typographer who laid this out.
Mike: You'd rather meet the guy that picked the font than the superstar running back they're writing about?
Brick: Hello. Copperplate Gothic. That's in the sans serif family of typeface. [whispers] Sans serif.
Quote from Mr. Ehlert
Frankie: Mr. Ehlert? What are you doing?
Mr. Ehlert: I got the night eats.
Frankie: No, no, no! You are not eating and ruining your procedure!
Mr. Ehlert: What's with the drama? We can just reschedule for Monday.
Frankie: Do you even care what my plans were for this weekend? I was supposed to watch the Super Bowl with my family, and my daughter's in a square dancing competition, and I can't go to it because of you!
Mr. Ehlert: Look, Frances... The truth is, I'm scared.
Frankie: You're not scared.
Mr. Ehlert: Okay, I'm not scared. Now give me my pork rinds!
Frankie: No! No! No, no, no! I've worked for you for two years, and you still make me get you coffee, clean your tie, look into your throat with a flashlight to see if your tonsils are inflamed. And then you say you're taking me to a management seminar, and I think, "Wow, he sees something in me." Well, you did see something in me... a sucker! And I take it and take it and never complain, because I need this job, but at some point, I need my self-respect more. I quit! [sighs] You'll need someone to drive you home in the morning, but when I get you home, I quit!
Quote from Brick
Jim: They're going for it on 4th.
Brick: Odds say they won't make it.
Mike: Well, that's what makes it fun, Brick.
Dave: Oh, man.
Brick: See, now they've turned the ball over, and historically, this team struggles playing red zone defense. In 1972...
Dave: Well, I gotta work early. See ya, Mike.
Mike: Well, it's only the first quarter. You don't wanna leave now.
Frankie: [v.o.] From that point on, the one stat you could count on was as long as Brick was there, a man would leave the Heck house every 24 minutes.
Brick: Sure, they may be good this year, but enjoy it now, 'cause with five free agents on the roster, you won't see 'em back at another Super Bowl for a long time.
Brick: So the name "Super Bowl" came about 'cause Kansas City chiefs owner Lamar Hunt saw his daughter playing with a "super ball."
Brick: You're just wrong. You may not know you're wrong, but you're wrong.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Got our ribbons. Look! "8th place" and "participant"! Two ribbons for the bulletin board. [squeals]
Brad: Sue, there were only eight couples. How can you be happy about this? We lost.
Sue: I guess I'm used to it.
Brad: [sighs] I really wanted to win.
Sue: Brad, think about it. Do you really want to peak in eighth grade? There's nowhere to go but down. But 'cause we're building character now, we can peak when we're 30, when we have the money and clear skin to enjoy it. We are gonna be the most awesome adults.
Brad: I almost feel sorry for the winners.
Sue: We did it, Brad. We participated. We got ribbons. We got our names in the programs. They listed me as "Sue Hick," but I know it's me. And now we get to go to the pie house... In our costumes.
Quote from Brick
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, I guess that's how it is on game day. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. And sometimes it's enough just to participate.
Mike: So, Brick, uh, that Super Bowl logo, is that serif or sans serif?
Brick: Sans serif. See, Dad? If you can talk about fonts, you can talk to anyone.
Quote from Brad
Frankie: [v.o.] It's that time of year, when everyone gears up for one special Sunday... Where the best of the best go head-to-head in an epic showdown of skill, speed, and brute strength.
Brad: It's Square Dancing with the Stars!
Sue: [squeals] Brad just asked me to be his partner!
Frankie: This Sunday? Super Bowl Sunday? Do parents go to this?
Sue: Well, you don't have to, but it's the coolest thing at school. There's a big trophy and hay bales, and I hear there's even gonna be punch made with name-brand pop.
Brad: I'm gonna go check the garage rehearsal space, get a feel of the room. Mrs. Heck, do you have a regulation tap floor?
Frankie: We have a concrete slab with a big grease stain in the middle.
Brad: Well, if I can dance on wood chips at camp, I can dance on anything.
Quote from Mr. Ehlert
Mr. Ehlert: Okay, Team Worthless, huddle up. This Saturday, I'm taking one of you to a managerial seminar in Indianapolis. It's very prestigious, and rumor has it that one of the Pips will be playing in the lounge.
Pete: Excellent. I'll bring my box of Cubans, sir.
Mr. Ehlert: Actually, Pete, you're not going anywhere. I've decided to take Frances.
Frankie: Me, really?
Mr. Ehlert: Yes, you, really. And, Pete, you can leave those Cubans on my desk.
Quote from Mike
Mike: You know, Brick, I bet that would've been a real conversation starter in the 1600s, but you know what men talk about today? Sports.
Brick: Here we go.
Mike: It's the language of men, buddy. A great icebreaker. In bars, in elevators, even in the John. If you can talk sports, you can talk with any guy in the world. Every year we have people over here for the Super Bowl. What do you do?
[flashback to Brick reading at the dining room table while Mike, Axl and the guys cheer:]
Brick: Inside voices, please!
Mike: I'm just saying, you like to read? Well, there's a lot of fun words in football. You like the 3-syllable ones, right?
Brick: I find them very soothing.
Mike: Well, look at this. "Quarterback." "Buttonhook." "Flea-flicker."
Brick: I did not realize that.
Quote from Brick
Brick: Okay. Ready. Ready to discuss sports.
Mike: Really? Okay. Uh, let's see what you got. What is a quarterback?
Brick: Quarterback or cornerback? Because one leads the offense, and the other plays defense. Of course, the introduction of turf in the '70s sped up the defensive game to a point where the quarterback had to adapt, becoming more mobile out of the pocket.
Mike: Wow, Brick. And, you know, with the west coast offense...
Brick: Don't tell me anything past 1983. I only read up to where the Miami Dolphins drafted this guy named Dan Marino. He looks pretty good. I bet he won a lot of super bowls.
Frankie: [v.o.] It was the moment Mike had waited for his whole life, the day Brick said something he was actually interested in.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Okay, I'm off to my seminar. You know, I'm almost the tiniest bit starting to think of my job as a stepping-stone to... maybe a career. And you know what? Possibly not hating it quite so much.
Mike: Go get 'em. Oh, and, hey, if they have those tiny bottles of hot sauce at the lunch, bring 'em back for the Super Bowl.
Frankie: What do you think the briefcase is for?