TV Quotes

Brick: Do we have any details about the cause of Aunt Edie's death?
Mike: Just one. She was 96.
Brick: Interesting. Has anyone questioned Helen Riley? She was the perennial runner-up to Aunt Edie in the church pie contest.

Mike: How you doing balancing the checkbook?
Sue: Well, I must have done it wrong. I have your balance at minus $11.
Mike: No, you did it right. It's us who did it wrong. [Frankie and Mike high-five]

Brick: Hey, Mom. Can I interest you in a decorative crock-pot cozy? Now you can leave your crock-pot out where everyone can see and save yourself unwanted embarrassment. It's for the women's club. These glasses are the prize for being their top seller.
Frankie: Let me guess. You're using the cozy money to pay off the peppermint-bark people.
Brick: Exactly.
Frankie: Brick, you're running a Ponzi scheme.
Brick: A Ponzi-what, now?
Frankie: You're using money you don't have to pay off the debt you had before, and now you got to go into even more debt to pay off this debt. It's an endless cycle. You're never gonna catch up.
Brick: Isn't that what you guys do with your credit cards?
Frankie: Well, yeah, but we're gonna die before they catch us.

Corey: Oh, no. Leave me here, Brick. Save yourself.
Brick: No man left behind. Come on.
Corey: I can't. My sock is so white. I can't get it dirty.
[Brick helps Corey hop from the sandpit back to the building]
Corey: You saved my life. And my sock.
Brick: Semper fi, my brother. Semper fi.

Mike: What's going on, Brick? I thought you were gonna sleep in your bed.
Brick: Oh, hey. Actually, I was asleep in bed, and then I woke up and started to worry about the Asian stock market. It opens early, you know.
Frankie: Of course.
Brick: Well, I started to feel a little anxious, so, taking Dr. Fulton's advice, I came out here to do some jumping jacks, and while I got the jumping part right, when it came to the jacks, my coordination was a little off, and I bumped into the fireplace, and Mom's royal baby goblet fell and broke.
Frankie: Brick.
Mike: That's okay.
Brick: I wanted to fix it, so I Googled "Gluing a broken goblet," and it took me to this interesting web page about Buddhism. It said a person should imagine the things they love broken and destroyed because in the future, everything ends up that way anyway.
Frankie: Okay.
Brick: So, I imagined the house burned down and you and Sue and Axl all dead and all my books gone and I had no one left in the world, and it started to make me feel better.
Frankie: It did?
Brick: Yeah. Suddenly, things made sense. It's like this Buddhist guy says. "You see this goblet? For me, it is already broken. I enjoy it. I drink out of it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over and it shatters, I say, 'Of course.' When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious." So I've decided, from now on, I want to spend every moment I can with the things I cherish most. [Frankie holds her hands out for a hug] So, I'll be in my room with my books. Try not to bother me.

Mike: Well, look who decided to go out and get themselves a snack.
Axl: What?
Mike: You know what? Being a part of a family means stepping up and helping out when something goes wrong. Your mom and I are busting our butts downstairs. Hell, your sister's even down there.
Axl: But I...
Mike: But nothing! I don't want to hear anything out of your mouth unless it's "I'm sorry," and, of course, it'll be a cold day in Hell before that happens.
Axl: What are you talking about? I say I'm sorry all the time.
[flashback to Axl on the couch in his underwear:]
Axl: God, I'm sorry!
[flashback to Axl drinking straight from the tap:]
Axl: Sorry!
[flashback to Axl grumpily closing his bedroom door:]
Axl: Oh, I'm so, so sorry. [door slams]