Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes
- Episodes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- Season 3
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Season 6
- Season 7
- Season 8
- 801 Fun with Debra
- 802 Thank You Notes
- 803 Home From School
- 804 Misery Loves Company
- 805 The Contractor
- 806 Peter on the Couch
- 807 Liars
- 808 The Surprise Party
- 809 The Bird
- 810 Jazz Records
- 811 Debra at the Lodge
- 812 Slave
- 813 Whose Side Are You On?
- 814 Lateness
- 815 Party Dress
- 816 Security
- 817 The Ingrate
- 818 Crazy Chin
- 819 The Nice Talk
- 820 Blabbermouths
- 821 The Model
- 822 The Mentor
- 823 Golf for It
- Season 9
Everybody Loves Raymond

Ray Barone is a sportswriter who lives on Long Island with his wife, Debra, and their daughter and twin boys. Ray's parents, Frank and Marie, live across the street and his brother, Robert, lives with them.
Starring:
Ray Romano, Patricia Heaton, Brad Garrett, Doris Roberts, Peter Boyle, Monica Horan.
Recurring Actors:
Fred Willard, Georgia Engel, Chris Elliott, Katherine Helmond, Robert Culp, Andy Kindler, Jon Manfrellotti.
Original Run: 1996-2005.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Marie in Good Girls
Ray: Did you say that you like Amy more than Debra?
Marie: I am not... saying that.
Ray: What?
Marie: I am not saying that I like Amy more than Debra.
Ray: I know. I know you're not saying it now. But did you say it, ever? [Marie is silent] What if I told you that we have a tape of you saying it, Ma?
Marie: Give me the tape.
Ray: There is no tape.
Marie: Then you don't have any proof at all.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Marie in Lucky Suit
Agent Garfield: Mrs. Barone, you seem like an intelligent woman.
Marie: Thank you. Have a cookie.
Agent Garfield: Do you really think that a mother interfering to the extent that you have could possibly help a man get a job with the FBI? There's something else going on.
Marie: He was supposed to retire! He's a year away from not being a police officer. Which means I could stop worrying about him every second of the day. I want him to be safe. Now he wants to go from one dangerous job to another? How long do I have to walk around with a knot in my stomach? Forever? I can't do it anymore. It's too much! But he wants this job. It'll make him happy. And he should be happy. So, yes, he should have this job. Please, give him this job.
Agent Garfield: I can't do that.
Marie: No. No, don't blame him, you can punish me! Put one of those tracking things on my legs so I can't get out of the house. And if you met my husband, you'd know that's punishment enough.
Quote from Marie in Marie's Sculpture
Marie: Raymond, do you see what they see?
Ray: Um... I don't know.
Marie: No, tell me the truth.
Ray: Well... Maybe if I squint a little.
Marie: Oh, my God, I'm a lesbian!
Quote from Debra in The Angry Family
Debra: First of all, it's not a book. It's pieces of construction paper.
Ray: You sound a bit close-minded.
Debra: Hey. Eileen, you have no idea what I have to put up with. When I got married, I didn't just get a husband, I got a whole freak show that set up their tent right across the street. And that- That would be fine, if they stayed there. But every day... Every day, they dump a truckload of their insane family dreck into my lap. How would you like to sit through two people in their 60s fighting over who invented the lawn? The lawn! And then the brother, "I live in an apartment. I don't even have a lawn. Raymond has a lawn." But you can't blame him when you see who the mother is. She has this kind of sick hold on the both of them. And the father's about as disgusting a creature as God has ever dropped onto this planet. So no wonder the kid writes stories! I should be writing stories. My life is a Gothic novel! And until you have lived in that house, with all of them in there with you day after day, week after week, year after friggin' year, you are in no position to judge me!
Quote Collections
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“Marie Barone: I Don't Like That, Raymond”
Marie Barone - never one to shy away from expressing an opinion - would let her family know she disapproved of something with the phrase, "I don't like that..."
11 quotes
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A collection of Frank Barone's best "Holy crap!" moments.
18 quotes
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Enjoy quotes from classic Christmas episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond.
25 quotes
Trending Quotes
Quote from Frank in Counseling
Frank: Sounds to me like you did good, Ray. Name, rank, and serial number. Never open up. Keep the enemy in the dark.
Marie: You're an ignoramus. If anybody ever opened you up, all they'd find is meat.
Frank: No son of mine needs counseling! Except the big one!