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‘Young Girl’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Young Girl

508. Young Girl

Aired November 13, 2000

Robert dates a younger woman.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Look, it's making my life hell, all right?
Robert: Making your life hell? How?
Ray: You dating a younger girl affects other people. Especially older people like the one I'm married to.
Robert: Debra's not old.
Ray: She is when Erica's in the room.
Robert: Yeah, but Debra seemed to like Erica and-
Ray: Yeah, yeah. She did, didn't she? She was pleasant, enjoyable to be around... Let me tell you something, Robert. There's two Debras. That's right. There's the Debra you see that doesn't have a problem with it. Then, when everybody leaves, there's the Debra that I see... Darth Debra.

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Quote from Ray

Ray: Hey, hey, hey. Remember when you broke up with Amy?
Robert: Yeah, she got mad at me and then it was over.
Ray: Over for you! Because you left. I'm just now getting my hearing back!
Robert: Really?
Ray: Yes, yes. And then you bring a 22-year-old around. I'm going to be a lonely, deaf sex-beggar.
Robert: So you're serious? There's two Debras?
Ray: Yep. And neither one of them can cook.

Quote from Marie

Frank: Erica, what is that heavenly scent you're wearing? Let me guess what it is.
Marie: All right, Frank. We don't sniff the guests.
Frank: I'm having a conversation!
Marie: You're embarrassing yourself!
Frank: And you're embarrassing me! People think I'm with you!
Marie: You want me to leave?
Frank: There's a birthday present.
Marie: Happy birthday, Frank. You are now officially a dirty old man.

Quote from Debra

Erica: See, that's why I like Robert. Because he doesn't have a problem with my age.
Debra: Yeah, Robert's terrific that way.
Erica: I hope he really is because you see, actually, I'm 19.
Debra: What?! Oh my God! This is insane!
Erica: What do you mean?
Debra: I mean, you're barely out of high school. You are out of high school, aren't you?!
Erica: Well, yeah, for over a year.
Debra: Oh, okay, all right. Sorry. It's just that- My God, you're a teenager!

Quote from Debra

Erica: I was going to tell you, but I was afraid that you wouldn't go out with me.
Robert: 19!
Ray: [to Debra] That's not right. That's not right.
Erica: Come on, so, instead of a 13-year difference, it's 16, but it's still just a number.
Debra: Wait, wait a minute. 16 years? That would make Robert 35.
Erica: Right.
Debra: [laughs] This is unbelievable!

Quote from Debra

Debra: Well, I am not threatened by younger women. Why should I be? I happen to be an attractive woman.
Ray: Amen to that.
Debra: I am extremely well-read. I am a good conversationalist.
Ray: Hallelujah.
Debra: m proud of my age and I have never lied about it!
Ray: No reason to.
Debra: Shut up, Ray!
Ray: All right.
Debra: So what is it now? Men have to date women 20 years younger than they are? Ray dies tomorrow, I have to start dating 60-year-olds?
Ray: I won't die tomorrow.
Debra: We'll see.

Quote from Ray

Debra: That girl was less than half our age.
Robert: All right, all right. Enough with the numbers already. You're killing me!
Ray: Did she really think I was older than you?
Robert: Didn't bat an eye. All right, look. Let's just order, all right? Let's get the pizza with sausage and onions.
Ray: Onions? What time is it? Oh, no. I can't do onions after 8:00.
Robert: No, it's okay. I got the Tums.
Debra: Oh, Tums are good. They have calcium.
Ray: Hey, you know what I hear is good? The Pepcid's good.
Robert: Yeah, that's good. They have the fruit flavor, the chewable. You know, they have nighttime Mylanta now.
Ray: A nighttime Mylanta?
Debra: Really? Is it chalky?
Robert: No, tropical. Beautiful.
Ray: Can you believe this? I have to pee again.

Quote from Ray

Frank: Hey, the gears are stripped here. You let the kids play with this?
Ray: Yeah, yeah, the kids did that, Dad. It had nothing to do with you plopping your jumbo can in there every night.
Frank: Ah, there we go.
Ray: Yeah, there's a nice gift for me two bushels of nose hair.

Quote from Frank

Marie: I'm Marie, Robert's mother. Are you two dating?
Robert: Ma?
Erica: We just met last week.
Robert: At Emerson's Savings.
Frank: Wow, open a checking account, get a free girl. I'm going down there.
Erica: Sorry, I was the last one. This one's got a sense of humor.
Frank: Hey, why don't you come to my birthday party Saturday?
Robert: Well?
Frank: Come on, it's my birthday. I get to say who's invited and [looks at Marie] who's not.
Marie: Just say the word, Frank.

Quote from Marie

Marie: 22?
Frank: Hot damn!
Marie: Oh! I don't like that, Frank. It's just not right.
Frank: What the hell's not right about it?
Marie: She's much too young.
Frank: That's what makes it right!

Quote from Ray

Marie: Young women go after older men for one thing she's a golddigger.
Ray: Mom, it's Robert. Come on. What's she after, his vaporizer?

Quote from Marie

Ray: Oh, Mom, they're just they're going bowling. Just relax.
Marie: Oh, please! Why am I talking to men? You understand what I'm saying, right, Debra?
Debra: Well, actually Marie, I think Robert should do whatever makes him happy.
Ray: Yeah, whatever makes him happy.
Marie: Well, I'm not going to let that happen.

Quote from Debra

Ray: Everybody sleeping?
Debra: Robert is a jerk.
Ray: Huh?
Debra: I can't believe he's dating a 22-year-old!
Ray: What? What happened to "whatever makes him happy"?
Debra: I was lying! Anyway, that's not real happiness.

Quote from Debra

Debra: What could they possibly have to talk about?
Ray: Maybe they don't have to talk. Maybe they're the they're the kind of couple that doesn't have to talk constantly.
Debra: I'm serious, Ray. Do you remember Robert's first year on the force? Remember when he helped deliver a baby in the back of that cab? That could be Erica!
Ray: Well, that- that's something they can talk about!
Debra: No. He can't possibly be serious about this relationship! He's using her.
Ray: Hey, if this bothers you so much, why didn't you speak up earlier with my mom?
Debra: Because it's none of my business! I don't want to be like your mother! I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you.
Ray: Tell that to the vein in your head.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Hey you know, I really haven't told you how good you've been looking lately.
Debra: What?!
Ray: Really, though. You're like a hot chick.
Debra: Oh my God! Is that what you think this is about?! I'm worried about how young I look? No! I am talking about right and wrong here. A basic sense of decency.
Ray: Okay, but you do look hot.
Debra: Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
Ray: Can I have the remote?

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