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‘Blabbermouths’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Blabbermouths

820. Blabbermouths

Aired May 3, 2004

Ray learns that Debra doesn't keep much to herself about their relationship.

Quote from Frank

Robert: What's up with you?
Frank: You guys have got to get your wives out of my house. They're over there looking at furniture catalogs. I told Marie, "At your age, you shouldn't be looking at any furniture, unless it has a lid."

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Quote from Marie

Marie: Oh, all right! All right! A lot of things have been said, and I have no problem facing the truth, however painful it might be. Now, about my sauce... Frank, tell them you're a liar.
Frank: What?
Marie: You ever want to eat again?
Frank: I lied. I'm a crazy old man who lies.

Quote from Frank

Frank: Ah, they all got their secrets. You wanna know a good one about your mother?
Ray: No, no, no. We got the game.
Robert: Don't need to hear it.
Frank: You know your mother's famous homemade marinara sauce? On more than one occasion... store-bought.
Ray: No! No! No way!
Frank: Yes. When she's in a rush, out of the jar, my friends.
Robert: This is huge!
Ray: Well! So, it's "homemade" if you live in aisle six at Waldbaum's.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Still, you think somebody's a hateful jerk-face, you've got to tell 'em. I have feelings too.
Robert: Hateful jerk-face. Feel better?
Ray: You see? You made me a hateful jerk-face.
Debra: You know, Amy, Ray's right. How am I supposed to know I upset you if you don't say anything to me? I mean, come on, I'm supposed to be your best friend!
Robert: What about me? I'm supposed to be her husband! I'm your husband! Don't you know, after all these years, to tell me immediately when Raymond screws up? You page me at work!

Quote from Frank

Ray: You sure?
Robert: I'm telling you, for apple pie, 21 seconds... You'll be very happy.
[After Ray turns the microwave on, he turns sideways and cups his groin with his hands. Robert notices Ray and does the same. Frank enters, sees his two sons doing this, and does the same.]
Frank: What's goin' on?
Ray: Just heatin' up pie.
Frank: I'll have some, but wash your hands first.

Quote from Amy

Amy: No, now, here's the sweetest thing: Every night since our wedding, Robert gives me a little massage.
Debra: Oh, wow! You are so lucky.
Amy: Yeah. Although he kind of doesn't know his own strength and sometimes when he squeezes, I feel like I'm being juiced. But it's very thoughtful.
Linda: Can't you just tell him to lighten up a little?
Amy: I don't have the heart. Plus, I usually black out before I can say anything.

Quote from Debra

Linda: My Bernie does cute things too. Like, every night, he shuffles in in his pajamas, he kneels by the bed, and prays.
Amy: Aw.
Debra: You know, when Ray kneels by the bed, it's not so much praying as begging.

Quote from Debra

Debra: No. No, Ray is pretty sweet himself. The other night, when I woke up, he was whimpering in his sleep.
Amy: Really?
Debra: Yeah.And then he said, "Choo-choo gone."
Amy: Aw. "Choo-choo gone." How adorable is that?
Debra: He woke up and was really embarrassed, but he told me he was having a dream that he was in the park with his mommy, and the kiddie train left before he got on.
Linda: Oh! I am such a sucker for that little-boy thing in men. It's so endearing.
Frank: [enters] Where's Marie? I lost my shoe.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Come on, Robert. You didn't play that bad, all right? I was just awesome.
Robert: Thanks. You always know just what to say.
Ray: What are you worried about? It's not like anybody saw you. You were in the woods the whole time.
Robert: So you just invited me in to insult me, is that it?
Ray: Yes. And to offer you a mixed-berry juice box.
Robert: Hmm. I do like mixed berry.
Ray: Here, I'll put the straw in for you. I know you won't be able to get it anywhere near the hole.
Robert: I can do it myself! Goodbye!

Quote from Ray

Debra: Ray, just calm down.
Ray: What else does she know, huh? Does she know you saw me that time, shaving with your pink lady-razor?
Debra: I don't know.
Ray: Come on. Think. Did you tell her?
Debra: Ray, this is crazy. Do you expect me to remember everything I've ever told Amy about you over the years?
Ray: Years?! You've been doing this to me for years?
Debra: Okay, l- I realize you're upset, and I will try to be more sensitive. But I do talk to Amy about my life, and, I'm sorry, but you happen to be a big part of my life.
Ray: Well, I'm- I'm sorry you and the other hens don't have anything better to do than to cluck around the henhouse Iike a gaggle of cluckety-cluckin' hens.

Quote from Frank

Ray: Anyway, then I had to make up the whole train thing 'cause the wife was there.
Frank: Ah, they're always there.
Ray: I didn't know Debra was gonna go blabbing it. I don't get it. You know, she has nothing better to do than to talk about my personal life?
Debra: Raymond, Raymond, Raymond. That just shows the surprising naivete on your part. For, you see, it is always the nature of the female to gather with other females...
Frank: And screech like a tree full of Chinese monkeys.

Quote from Debra

Debra: So, wait a minute you and Robert were gossiping?
Ray: Yeah. And my father too. You wanna know something about my mother?
[Debra turns her bedside lamp on and sits up]
Ray: Look at you. I've never seen you this excited in bed.
Debra: Shut up and tell me about your mother.

Quote from Frank

Debra: "Choo-Choo Chulesky"?
Ray: What?
Debra: Who is Choo-Choo Chulesky?
Frank: Ray, you'd better get back into your microwave position.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Look, Debra it's not what you think!
Debra: Oh, I think you were dreaming about another woman, and you told me a choo-choo train story.
Ray: No- You couldn't keep your giant mouth shut, could you?!
Robert: I- l- l- Wh- [turns to Amy]
Amy: I didn't say anything, Robert. I swear!
Robert: Well, someone opened their giant mouth.
Marie: I did.
Robert: Oh, I'm sure you had your reasons.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Why are you being such a baby?
Robert: Baby?
Ray: Yeah.
Robert: I'm a baby? A baby knows three words: "Choo-choo gone."
Ray: What?
Robert: Nothing. [drinks juice] Ah! [imitates train horn]

Quote from Ray

Debra: Hey. How was your golf?
Ray: W- W- What'd you do? You told Robert my dream?
Debra: What?
Ray: My train dream. "Choo-choo gone."
Debra: No, I didn't tell Robert that. Oh, Amy.
Ray: You told Amy?!
Debra: Well, I know. I just thought it was sweet, and so did she. And I didn't think she would tell Robert.
Ray: No, it's not sweet. It's personal!
Debra: I'm sorry. I'll tell Amy to keep those things between us.
Ray: Wh- No! No! How about you just keep them between us?! Wait a minute. What things? She knows other of my things?!

Quote from Ray

Debra: We're not clucking, Ray. We're sharing our feelings.
Ray: Oh, my God. You tell her about our sex!
Debra: Look, Ray, listen. I don't- She's my best friend.
Ray: Dump her!
Debra: What?
Ray: You have to dump her. She knows too much, thanks to your gossip. Yes, that's right. You're a gossip. [grabs the phone]
Debra: What are you doing?
Ray: I'm going upstairs to take a shower and I would rather Amy didn't know what I wash or how long I wash it!

Quote from Robert

Robert: Hey. Oh, game's already on?
Ray: Yeah, it just started.
Robert: Uh, say there, Dad, how about passing me some of those tasty chips?
Frank: Why, certainly, son. Here you go. [both chew]
Ray: Hey, animals, can you at least eat with your mouths shut?
Frank: Oh, I'm sorry. What's the matter? Don't you like the way we "choo-choo"?
Robert: Choo-choo. "Choo-choo gone"! [both laugh] We got him. It totally worked.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Very funny. You wouldn't be laughing if you knew what the dream was really about.
Robert: Yeah, right.
Ray: Trust me. I didn't tell Debra the exact truth.
Frank: Oh, yeah?
Robert: What was it?
Ray: Okay. All right. Remember Ellen Chulesky from high school?
Robert: Oh, yeah. She was a woman among girls. Well, in my class, we used to call her "Choo-Choo Chulesky." So, anyway, in the dream, it was no kiddie train. It was just me and Choo-Choo. All aboard!
Robert: Oh. Then what does "Choo-choo gone" mean?
Ray: Well, she had her way with me and left. Choo-Choo was gone.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Yeah, well, I don't do it to her. I don't go around telling everybody that Debra burps all the time.
Robert: Debra burps?
Ray: Yeah. Sometimes she gets a nervous stomach. It rocks the house.
Frank: Really? Little Debra?
Ray: Oh, yeah. One time, I saw her burp a door open.

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