Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘The First Time’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: The First Time

624. The First Time

Aired May 20, 2002

As she continues to feud with Marie, Debra thinks back to her first night with Ray.

Quote from Frank

Debra: What's this?
Frank: I don't know, some porcelain thing you gave us for our 30th anniversary or some other terrible occasion.
Debra: Why are you giving it back to me?
Frank: Marie says she doesn't like it and she never did.
Debra: So she sent you over here with this?
Frank: That's right. I'm Marie's stinking messenger service since you two stopped talking to each other.
Debra: Okay, Frank. All right. Okay.
Frank: You know who she does talk to? Me. Nonstop. So do me a favor. If you're upset, please shoot the messenger.

Rate

Quote from Debra

Debra: What are you watching?
Ray: You. [kisses Debra]
Debra: Oh, hey, Ray, you know what? How about tomorrow, hmm?
Ray: How about we start today and go till tomorrow?
Debra: We'll, we'd have to start at 11:59, then.

Quote from Frank

[flashback:]
Marie: I know exactly what you and Debra are planning.
Ray: What? How do you know anything?
Marie: Believe me, I would rather not know. But when you talk in your room, it carries through the whole house.
Frank: Especially when your mother stands on the dresser so she can listen through the vent.

Quote from Ray

Ray: So you ended up sleeping with me that night because of what my mother said?
Debra: I guess so.
Ray: Back to therapy.

Quote from Debra

Debra: Listen, I came over here to- to- to try- [Marie turns around] Marie, are you kidding?
Marie: Here's a little sauce left, would you like some?
Frank: No sauce. Talk! For God's sake, talk to her!
Marie: Would you like some, Robert?
Robert: I'll have a little bit.
Frank: You take that sauce and I'll kill you. No one's having your sauce until you talk to her!
[Marie pours the sauce down the sink]
Debra: Well, Marie, I don't know what I was thinking coming over here, because this past month of you not talking to me has been the best month of my life!

Quote from Ray

Debra: Honey, you know what? You know what? Really definitely tomorrow, okay? The kids'll be on their play date, we'll be all alone.
Ray: Hmm? Interesting. During the daytime, you're saying?
Debra: I am.
Ray: Well, you sound very sincere, so I guess you'll have no trouble signing this.
Debra: "I agree to have daytime sex with Ray Barone tomorrow, May 23rd of this year." [signs] Can I go to sleep now?
Ray: Yes, you may. But in case you have any ideas of ripping this up in the middle of the night... [puts it in his pants] I win either way.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Hello-oo. Well, I just dropped the kids off at their play date, and now it's time for mine.
Debra: Not now, Ray.
Ray: Oh, I beg to differ.
Debra: Ray!
Ray: I had a feeling you might change your mind, and that's why, if you remember, I had you sign a certain document.
Debra: Do you know what just happened?
Ray: I must tell you, I do not care. Your signature.
Debra: [rips up the paper] What is wrong with you?! You can't tell I'm upset? After how many years, you can't tell I'm not in the mood right now?!
Ray: All right, now I'm starting to get it.

Quote from Robert

[flashback:]
Robert: I gotta get to work. Which one of you bozos parked behind me?
Bernie: Hey, Robert, listen, we're taking odds. You think Debra's gonna have sex with Ray tomorrow?
Robert: Hmm, I don't know. Has the president declared Ray the last man on earth?
Ray: That doesn't even make sense, all right? If the president was around to declare it, then how am I the last man, stupid?
Robert: Well, president or no president, there's no way you're ever having sex with that Debra.

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Robert: Check her eggs, man, check her eggs!
Ray: What?
Robert: You check her refrigerator to see if she has enough eggs to make both of you breakfast in the morning.
Ray: Oh, really? Yeah. You know, Mom has two dozen eggs in the fridge right now.
Bernie: Oh, why do you do that?

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Ray: Who is that, Meryl Streep?
Debra: Uh-huh.
Ray: She reminds me of Madonna.
Debra: Really? I don't see that.
Ray: You, uh, you like Madonna?
Debra: Yeah, she's okay. [Ray kisses Debra]

Quote from Marie

[flashback:]
Ray: Ma!
Debra: Hi, Marie.
Ray: What are you doing here?
Marie: Hello, Raymond. I was baking lasagna, and I had so much extra I thought I'd bring it over to you two.
Debra: Oh. All the way from Long Island. [chuckles] That's so nice of you.
Ray: Yeah, Ma, we got Chinese food coming.
Marie: Oh, that's not food.

Quote from Marie

[flashback:]
Debra: No, Marie, I really love your lasagna. I don't cook a lot, but you're really starting to inspire me.
Marie: I bet you're a natural.

Quote from Marie

[flashback:]
Ray: No, listen, you guys, you both gotta go home, okay? Debra and I, we're trying to watch a movie.
Marie: You're not fooling anyone, young man.
Ray: What?
Marie: You don't think I know what's gonna take place here tonight? You ought to be ashamed of yourself. [blows out candle]

Quote from Marie

[flashback:]
Ray: Mom you two have to leave, okay? Debra and I would like to be alone. [opens door]
Father Hubley: Oh, hello, Raymond.
Robert: Hello, Raymond.
Marie: Oh, Father Hubley, come in.
Father Hubley: Thanks for the ride, Robert. I've been looking forward to this lasagna all day!
Debra: Hi.
Marie: Oh, Debra, this is our family priest, Father Hubley. And if it's all right with you, he's gonna join us for dinner.

Quote from Frank

[flashback:]
Marie: Father Hubley, did you know that Debra and Raymond have been dating for a few months now?
Ray: Maybe this is a bad time, I don't think we have enough lasagna.
Frank: Hey, Ray's right. We may be in trouble here. Because, with all due respect, Father, I saw what you did to that cheesecake at the church bake sale.

Page 2 

 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode