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‘Ally's Birth’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Ally's Birth

525. Ally's Birth

Aired May 21, 2001

When Ray takes Ally to a father-daughter dance, he reminisces about her birth.

Quote from Debra

[flashback:]
Frank: Well, what do you do?! Don't you have to go away from here?
Ray: Oh, no! I don't have a route mapped out to the hospital from here.
Debra: Shh, be quiet! I don't want Marie to know! Let's just get out of here.
Ray: What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're not going to tell my mother?
Debra: After we're in the hospital and well under way, then you can tell her.
Ray: What's well under way?
Debra: Kindergarten. I don't want her in my delivery room!
Ray: Maybe she could just bring cookies?
Debra: I am going to bite your nose right off.

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Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Nurse: Excuse me, we can't hold your mother back any longer. She just turned over a gurney.
Ray: Okay, let them in. We should keep the baby between us and her like a shield.

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Ray: Deb, Deb, just wait a minute.
Debra: What?
Ray: We've been having sex every day for the last three months. I'm starting to feel like a piece of meat.
Debra: Okay. [kisses Ray]
Ray: Boy, you really want a kid, huh?
Debra: What do you mean? Don't you?
Ray: Yeah, you know... I don't know.
Debra: Well, what? I mean, wasn't this the plan? We've been trying for three months. Aren't you the one that said you wanted a little Ray or Raymona?

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Debra: What are you saying? You don't want to have kids?
Ray: Does it have to be right this second?
Debra: I can't believe you're telling me this now! You just don't want responsibility! That's what this is about. You're a baby!
Ray: Yes, and you know what they say about babies having babies... It's a crisis.

Quote from Debra

[flashback:]
Debra: Come on in. Ray's not even home yet. Frank and Robert still parking?
Marie: Oh, Frank's looking for a broken meter. If Robert wasn't with him, he'd break one himself. I made you some appetizers for tonight. I hope you don't mind, dear.
Debra: Oh, please. Any time you want to come over with food, you're more than welcome.

Quote from Marie

[flashback:]
Marie: Debra, dear, I made you some pasta.
Debra: Oh, no thanks. I'm not hungry, Marie.
Frank: Hit me, I'm open.
Marie: But your baby's just three weeks away, you need your strength. I know, but the doctor said I shouldn't be eating anything heavy. So you're just going to do everything the doctor says? When I was with child, I ate three healthy meals a day, and look how my boys turned out.
Frank: Stop eating immediately.
Marie: Oh, I thought some motherly wisdom would be appreciated, but I guess I'm not worth it.
Debra: Okay, I'll eat it. Thank you, thank you.
Marie: No trouble, dear. I'm going to make you some tea. Pregnant women love tea.
Debra: [to her belly] Come out!

Quote from Frank

[flashback:]
Marie: Oh, wait, wait. Let me get my jacket.
Ray: No, no, no. Ma, you should, uh, I don't know. Why don't you just stay?
Marie: Well, why would I do that?
Ray: Because... Because... Oh hi, honey. [kisses Debra] Yeah. Uh... Mom
Frank: M-M-Marie. You should stay here.
Marie: Why, Frank?
Frank: 'Cause then you and I could have some... alone time.
Marie: Really? [Frank nods] Okay. Well, I guess we'll see you kids in a while.
Debra: Okay.
Ray: Okay, all right.
Frank: I hope everyone remembers this moment when it's time to name the baby!

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Ray: Wait a minute, which way are you going?! This is the L.I.E.! I said to take the bridge!
Robert: Look, I know what I'm doing. I- Uh-oh.
Debra: What "uh-oh"? Why "uh-oh"?
Ray: Well, there seems to be a little traffic.
Debra: Traffic! Traffic!
Ray: Bridge! I said the bridge!
Robert: All right, there- There must be an accident up ahead!
Ray: Well, go around them! Put your siren on!
Robert: There's no room to move! A siren would just annoy people! Maybe the bridge would have been faster.
Ray: Would have been faster to put a stamp on her butt and mail her.

Quote from Frank

[flashback:]
Frank: There she is! The fountain of youth. I'm sucking in that youth. [sniffs] Oh, man, is that great stuff?

Quote from Ray

Ally: Do you want to go home now?
Ray: No, no, we can stay. Want to dance with me?
Ally: That's okay. You don't like the slow songs.
Ray: No, I want to. It's going fast enough.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Ray, what are you doing?
Ray: Why can't you take her to this thing?
Debra: Because it's a father-daughter dance.
Ray: Why don't they have a father-daughter poker night at the race track?
Debra: And you know what I would love? Ask one of the other fathers to film you two dancing. [Ray groans] Fast and slow. [Ray groans again] And stay the full two hours! [again] Have a good time.
Ray: There better be booze at this thing.

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Debra: This is all I've thought about for for a year.
Ray: Well, maybe you should develop some other interests. Look, wait, stop! All I'm saying is you shouldn't get so nutty about being pregnant.
Debra: Well, why the hell not?!
Ray: Well, first of all, the language not really for children. Just let it happen, okay? If it happens, then it happens.
Debra: No, no, you have to keep at it! There's only so many days per month!
Ray: I'm just saying we shouldn't get our hopes up, okay? In case, you know... Whatever.
Debra: Ray, you do know that three months of trying isn't that long, right?
Ray: Don't look at me, I don't even want to talk about it.
Debra: Oh, sweetie. It's normal. Really.

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Ray: Three months. We should have had a kid already.
Debra: No, listen. Ray, I'm telling you.
Ray: Look, my father said some stuff, okay? Us Barones, we're supposed to be really "vireal." I mean, I should have I should have been able to impregnate you by now.
Debra: Your dad said that?
Ray: He said knock you up, but yeah.
Debra: Ray, look, honey, my gynecologist said that it might take several months... to knock me up.
Debra: Oh, honey, you have nothing to worry about. We have nothing to worry about.
Ray: I guess if it's a girl, it doesn't have to be Raymona. I also like Alexandra. Ally.
Debra: Yeah, I like that. [kisses Ray]
Ray: [kisses Debra] My father's an idiot.
Debra: Yeah, yeah, I could use less of a Frank image right now.

Quote from Frank

[flashback:]
Debra: So you found a parking space, Frank?
Frank: I hate all these damn fire hydrants! I'm glad dogs pee on them!
Debra: Sorry about that, Frank. Yeah, damn fire hydrants.

Quote from Debra

[flashback:]
Debra: Ray, our first few years together have been a joy to me.
Marie: [opens door] Hey, what are you two doing out here?
Debra: [closes the door] And I think of our life together as a journey.
Marie: [tries to open door] Hey! Don't you want your appetizers?
Debra: A great journey, and along this path we would- [Marie knocks on the door]
Ray: [o.s.] No, Ma, stop!
Debra: Along this path, we would share many joyful moments together. Moments that we will remember al- Oh, okay! I'm pregnant!
Ray: What?
Marie: [opens door, hugs Ray] Pregnant! Debra's pregnant!

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