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‘Frank's Tribute’ Quotes

Everybody Loves Raymond: Frank's Tribute

316. Frank's Tribute

Aired February 8, 1999

Ray and Robert prepare a tribute for Frank after he's named Man of the Year at his lodge.

Quote from Marie

Marie: What's he calling now for?
Frank: I don't know.
Marie: You know, sometimes I wish they didn't live across the street.

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Quote from Marie

Frank: What would you say in a tribute to me?
Marie: Well, I don't know, Frank. They didn't ask me.
Frank: Okay.
Marie: I would say he's been my husband for 42 years. That we have two wonderful boys together and three beautiful grandchildren. Isn't that right?
Frank: That's it?
Marie: Let me finish. And that he's always been there for us and been a good provider. And that even though we squabble every now and then, I know that he's the one for me. And whatever I did to deserve him, I'll live with.
Frank: I like that! With the humor, yeah.

Quote from Marie

Marie: Now, can I ask you something?
Frank: Come on, let's go to bed.
Marie: No, no, come on, Frank! We were talking!
Frank: I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
Marie: Oh, sure! Now you got what you needed from me and now you're going to sleep. What else is new?

Quote from Marie

Marie: Come on! What were you going to say?
Frank: Sometimes you spit when you talk.
Marie: Oh, that's it! That's it!
Frank: Hey, what did I say? Come on! You're the one for me!
Marie: You want to know why people don't love you, Frank? You want to know? Because you offer them nothing. That's right. You have to give love, Frank, to get it. And you have never ever been willing to do that! You just take and take and take and expect everybody to accept your obnoxious horse's ass of a personality! And everybody has to put up with it because it's you! You know what the sad part is? You are surrounded by family who happen to love you anyway. And you push them away. You push us all away. You don't have to push anymore.
[After Marie storms out, Frank turns the TV on. Marie returns:]
Marie: You're not gonna talk to me about this? Frank?! [Frank is silent] This is not a marriage, Frank! A marriage is two people sharing things, talking! And if they have a problem, they talk about it! You don't just sit there and wait for the other one to go away! [Marie leaves again]

Quote from Frank

Marie: Now, you talk to me.
Frank: All right. Look, I, uh know the boys did their best. I know, uh, it's my own stupid fault people aren't crazy about me and I'm sorry to everybody.
Marie: You're just saying that so I'll leave you alone. You still can't think of anything nice to say about me?
Frank: How about I sleep on it?
Marie: It's all jokes.
[Marie turns off her bedside lamp and turns away from Frank. He gets out of bed, goes to the bathroom and returns to Marie's side of the bed. Frank turns the lamp on and starts cleaning Marie's face with a washcloth]
Marie: Frank, what are you doing? No, no, I need that. Frank! Fr- [Frank keeps going]
Frank: I like you better without the crap on your face. [they hug] Okay?
Marie: You should try and say something like that to me every day.
Frank: I'll try. Hey, uh...
Marie: What?
Frank: Well, I am Man of the Year.
Marie: Yes, you are.
Frank: And I'm looking to move up from Man Once a Year. [Marie laughs] See? With the humor.

Quote from Marie

Frank: You know what? I'm quitting that lodge.
Marie: Good.
Frank: What do you mean, good?
Marie: It's a stupid lodge. It's full of crotchety old men who think the greatest luxury in life is sweating naked and coughing. And all you ever do is complain about them.
Frank: Well, why didn't you say something before?
Marie: It gets you out of the house.

Quote from Ray

Ray: What is it? What happened?
Marie: It just never stops with your father.
Ray: What'd he do?
Marie: He was voted Man of the Year.
Ray: Man of the Year? What has happened to "Time" magazine?
Marie: No, no. At his lodge.
Ray: What has happened to his lodge?

Quote from Marie

Marie: No, Robert has the right attitude. This is a big deal for your father. And I want nothing to do with it.
Ray: What do you mean? Thought you had to organize the whole thing. [off Marie's look] Oh, no!
Marie: Oh, yes. You two are gonna do this. Your father's very excited. He's already bothering me about it.
Ray: Dad knows about this?
Marie: They don't surprise the Man of the Year anymore. That's how they lost the last Man of the Year.

Quote from Frank

Marie: Would you stop? The boys did nothing wrong. You wanted them to make you a tribute, they made you a tribute.
Frank: I can't wait for my eulogy!
Marie: You still don't walk out on an evening your sons planned for you.
Frank: Tom Trevonyak got a tribute that lasted 37 minutes! The guys made a whole video on his life with big speeches and laughs and how much they love him. And then they did a big, wonderful music thing where they all dressed up like broads.
Marie: Well, Robbie was ready to dress up.
Frank: That stunk, what they did! All right? I know a tribute! They're not welcomed in this house anymore!

Quote from Marie

Marie: So they let you down?
Frank: Yes!
Marie: What about your buddies at the lodge?
Frank: What about them!
Marie: Don't you think if they had said something great that Raymond and Robbie would have put it in? Isn't that what's really bothering you?

Quote from Frank

Marie: Now, what would your tribute for me be? [Frank is silent] Well?
Frank: This is stupid.
Marie: It wasn't stupid when you just asked me!
Frank: Yes, it was! I now realize how stupid it was!
Marie: Well, I gave you a very lovely and generous answer, didn't I? Well, didn't I?
Frank: All right! [Marie straightens her clothes] What are you getting ready for? I'm not anointing you here.
Marie: Well, it isn't every day you say nice things about me.
Frank: Well it's not every day that you force me!


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