Marie: See, I expect this from Frank, but you boys have no reason to have any interest in such things.
Frank: Why not?
Marie: Because I never nursed them.
Frank: What the hell are you talking about?
Marie: Everybody knows that if you breastfeed boys when they're babies they're gonna grow up to be obsessed with breasts.
Robert: That's why you didn't breastfeed me?
Frank: That, and the two of you were almost the same height. We were gettin' looks.

Debra: Oh, God. I am so sick of this juvenile preoccupation with boob size and perkiness and cleavage and... I've had three kids, you know? These are not just for show. These were working breasts.
Ray: Come on, honey. Oh, come on. You say that like they're retired. They're still useful. They can do some occasional consulting work.

Ray: All right. I like you and your breasts.
Debra: And I like you and your breasts.
Ray: Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Debra: What?
Ray: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What'd you say breasts for?
Debra: You just said it.
Ray: Yeah, but you have breasts. I don't have breasts.
Debra: Pecs, I meant to say pecs.
Ray: I know what you said and I know what you meant. You meant my sagging breasts. I've had three kids too, you know.

Marie: Oh Debra, dear, I'm curious. What were they like?
Debra: Ugh, they were totally fake.
Ray: No, well, come on. I mean, they weren't fake. They were real. They do exist, you know? If they if they fell down in a forest, they'd make a sound.

Marie: Raymond, dear. Ooh, you must be famished from your trip, so I brought you some ravioli. [notices Debra chest] Uh I'll just go warm this up.
Ray: I'll take it, Ma. Thanks.
Marie: [to Debra] You know, dear, I'm thinking maybe you used the wrong setting on your dryer.

Marie: Well, I think it's sad when people start having surgery to make themselves bigger.
Frank: Marie did it the natural way. Pound cake.

Debra: I just don't know why looks are so important! I don't care how you look.
Ray: What does that mean?
Debra: Nothing.
Ray: No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I mean, you always used to say, "Oh, you're so cute." I'm still cute, right?
Debra: Ray, your being cute has nothing to do with your appearance.
Ray: Then what the hell is it?
Debra: Oh, nothing. I just meant, you know, I don't care if you've gone, like, soft in the middle or your hairline's receding and you have this concave ass. Cute is just who you are!
Ray: Concave?! Hey, these jeans are relaxed fit. If they were regular, my ass would come alive!

Debra: So she's showing me around upstairs, right? And I say how great she looks. I didn't really think she looked that great, but she was wearing this tight little outfit. So anyway she says, "I had a little work done" And I said, "Oh?" And she says, "Yeah, what do you think?" And she goes like this [pushes breasts out]
Ray: You're kidding.
Debra: No! Then she shuts the door and lifts up her blouse!
Ray: What?! Aw, well where the hell was I?!
Debra: So I said, "Wow." And she says, "They are so natural. Go ahead. Touch."
Ray: [gasps] She wants you.
Debra: No. She was, like, acting all proud. She tells me the whole story. How she drops the kids off at school, has it done in the morning, she's home in the afternoon. It was unbelievable.
Ray: Yeah, unbelievable. I'm down here eating balls of crap and you get- You get "Come in, Tokyo."

Debra: One of the mothers in Ally's class had breast implants.
Marie: Oh, I don't like that.
Debra: And at the party, she showed 'em to me.
Frank: What?!
Robert: What do you mean?
Frank: Wait a minute!
Robert: She just showed you?!
Frank: Both of them?
Robert: Shirt on or off?
Frank: With a brassiere?
Robert: What were you wearing?
Ray: All valid questions.
Debra: What is the matter with you guys? Come on. How old are you? Good grief. What's the big friggin' deal?

Debra: So Ray, you don't think I need a boob job, do you?
Ray: No. Not if you think it's stupid.
Debra: What's that supposed to mean?
Ray: What? Nothing.
Debra: Really?
Ray: Honey, you know I like them.
Debra: Yeah. Okay, Ray. Okay. All right.
Ray: Come on. You know I love Barnes & Noble.