Marie: Don't listen to him, Raymond. You and I are not like him.
Frank: What are you talking about? You hate plenty of people.
Marie: I do not hate people, Frank.
Frank: Oh, yeah? What about my mother? You hated her like poison.
Marie: First of all, I did not hate her. I felt sorry for her.
Frank: What about Harriet Lichtman?
Marie: I find Harriet Lichtman's flirtatious behavior towards you distasteful, but I do not hate that slut.

Robert: Hold it right there, you little twerp.
Jerry Musso: Who are you?
Robert: Who am I? I'm someone who can crush you into a fine powder, that's who I am. Now, Ray Barone has more talent in the weird pimple on his neck that won't go away than you have in your entire body, you oily, two-faced hack. You only wish you could be Ray Barone because you'll never come close to him as a writer, as a father, as a friend or as a person. [returns the snotty napkin] Come on, Raymond.

Ray: You know, the thing is, I don't hate him. I don't hate anybody.
Marie: Yes. That's one of your wonderful qualities. You got that from me.
Frank: Can I get an iced tea from you?
Marie: Your father, on the other hand, hates everybody.
Frank: That's not true. There's only some people I hate. The rest I tolerate.
Marie: Be quiet.
Frank: Careful, Marie. You're right on the fence.

Ray: What are you laughing at?
Robert: It kills you that somebody hates you.
Debra: Hey, why don't you just call him up?
Ray: Oh, I can't call somebody up that hates me.
Andy: Hey, maybe back in the old country, your great-grandfather killed Jerry Musso's great-grandfather and their family swore vengeance.
Robert: But now he feels the gypsy curse that produced your nose was not sufficient.

Jerry Musso: Look, what do you want from me?
Ray: So it's true? You do hate me?
Jerry Musso: Man, you ought to learn to quit while you're ahead.
Ray: Hey, it's no big deal. I just wanna know why.
Jerry Musso: All right, you have to push it. Okay. Well, there's just something about you. I've read your column, I've heard you speak. I look at you, and I go, "I don't get it." I guess you don't have to be smart to have a career in this business. Now, if you know me, you know I have pretty high standards and a very low threshold for dumb. Now look, I didn't wanna say it. I was trying to be nice, but you wouldn't let it go. So why don't you go have a shrimp puff and leave me alone, okay?

Ray: Doesn't like me? What did he say? What were his exact words?
Andy: I didn't hear from him. I was going over my list with the executive producer, and he saw your name, and he goes, "Oh, Jerry's never gonna go for this. He doesn't like Ray Barone."
Debra: Well, maybe he's confusing Ray with somebody else.
Andy: That's what I thought. So I submitted your name anyway. And still, it came back "No. No way. Jerry hates Ray Barone."
Ray: "Hates"? It says, "hates."
Robert: Where do you go to get stuff framed? [puts the paper in his pocket]

Robert: Hey, everybody. I took Amy out last night to the greatest new seafood restaurant, and I'm gonna take all of you there next Saturday, huh? What do you think?
Ray: If I just knew why Jerry hated me, you know... I mean, that's what's killing me.
Marie: I'm gonna write that man a letter.
Robert: Hello, nice announcement here from somebody else.
Marie: That's very nice, Robbie. Just give me his address, and I'll take care of it.
Robert: Oh my God. This is unbelievable.
Ray: I know. Why would a guy hate me?
Robert: What is with you? You can't believe that somebody could hate you? Is it so impossible to fathom that somewhere in this vast cosmos there might exist a single entity that thinks you suck?
Marie: Robbie, we do not say "suck." And if we did, Raymond certainly wouldn't.
Ray: No. What's your problem, man?
Robert: I'm just tired of this. You have the tiniest problem, and we all have to stop and rock you in your snuggly till you're all better. I've been saying this for 40 years.
Ray: You could've used some of that time to wash your feet.

Ray: Nothing. It looked like you rolled your eyes there.
Jerry Musso: I did?
Ray: Yeah. I mean, you meant what you said just now?
Jerry Musso: Oh, sure. Listen, you're on the show. I'll see you there.
Ray: No, no. I know you said you didn't hate me, but it kind of looked like you just went like this and I think I know what that means. My wife does that to me all the time. You know, it's like, "Can you believe this guy?" But if that's not what you did, then that's fine.

Debra: What's wrong?
Ray: This whole Jerry Musso thing I can't stop thinking about it.
Debra: Jerry Musso? Your own brother tells you that he hates you, you can't stop thinking about Jerry Musso?
Ray: Robert's always hated me. But Jerry Musso...
Debra: Means nothing to you. He's nobody. You should go make up with your brother.
Ray: I'm not making up with him. He should get down on his knees, look me in the eye, and apologize.

Robert: So I don't know, Debra. We went to Marco's last night. Amy says, "I must've had everything on this menu 100 times." What do you think?
Debra: Maybe Amy's trying to tell you she'd like to go someplace else.
Ray: And with someone else.
Debra: Ray.
Ray: You gotta read between the lines.