TV Quotes

Pat: Here we go.
Marie: How's the bird?
Pat: Oh, I took care of it.
Robert: What do you mean?
Pat: You know-- [makes neck twisting gesture]

Marie: Excuse me, but how do you know the bird couldn't be saved? I mean, you're not a veterinarian.
Pat: No, but I have lived in the country my whole life.
Amy: Mom grew up on a farm.
Frank: I bet the chickens slept with one eye open.

Hank: It's funny, isn't it, Mother, how city folk react to this type of thing?
Marie: That poor bird was innocently flying around. You kill it, you don't even seem to care.
Hank: It's not that we don't care, Marie. It's just, out here, there are animals all around us, and sometimes you do what has to be done.
Pat: Yes, like when a rodent gets into the root cellar, you don't want to bang it with a shovel... but you do.
Peter: Bong!

Frank: You got no right to go around bumpin' off God's creatures willy-nilly.
Hank: Well, let's remember, Frank, God did say, "Let man have dominion over the fish of the sea, and the fowl of the air, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth."
Frank: You creepeth me out.

Ally: "Squanto and the Pilgrims became friends, but Squanto's tribe did not like the settlers."
Marie: This is an excellent play.
Ray: "l think we should be friends with the Pilgrims and sign a peace treaty."
Hank: "Yes, we promise to protect your people and treat you with kindness."
Robert: Lies. They're gonna screw us.

Frank: That bird was one of God's creatures! The God these people supposedly work for. But apparently, that life didn't mean anything to them. It was just a bird. Well, maybe so, but I happen to think he deserved a lot better than he got.
Pat: [enters] Okay, everyone! Dinner.
Frank: All right! Break me off a leg there!

Hank: You know, Frank, I would like to say something to you. It seems to me that you care more about animals than you do about people.
Frank: What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Hank: Well, I've never seen you show as much compassion for any human being as you've just shown for that bird. And even the way you treat each other is appalling.
Amy: Hey, I think I know a couple fellas who could use a nap.
Frank: Listen, pal, we tell it like it is. Somebody's botherin' me, I let 'em know. And, yeah, maybe that's why I like animals, they tell it like it is. Woof! Moo! Quack! That's straight shootin'.

Pat: We would never pretend like that. We always try to see the goodness in people. Even when it's very, very hard.

Marie: You've done this before?
Peter: Sure. All the time.
Amy: Well, only when they hit the house.
Frank: I think if birds keep flying into your house, you gotta warn them somehow.
Peter: Maybe we should just cover the house with mattresses, so the birds bounce off.
Frank: You makin' fun of me, cocoa puffs?

Amy: Marie, maybe we should just let the bird thing go.
Robert: Whoa, Amy, look. Let's not get sucked into this. I mean, I'm not taking my family's side.
Amy: Well, of course not. They're acting all nuts.
Robert: They're nuts?
Amy: Well, what would you call it when a man barks and quacks at you?
Robert: My father was barking and quacking because he was upset about the path of death and destruction that your parents have cut through the animal community!
Frank: That's my boy!
Ray: This doesn't happen if you have a TV.