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‘Confronting the Attacker’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Confronting the Attacker

423. Confronting the Attacker

Aired May 15, 2000

Robert finally returns to work after being injured by the bull.

Quote from Frank

Debra: Look, Robert's scared, you know? He needs to get some help. He's gotta face his fears. If he doesn't, he's not gonna get any better.
Frank: All right, enough. "Face his fears." So he got a little scared. So what? You think I wasn't scared in Korea?
Marie: Oh, God.
Frank: We were all scared. We didn't have shrinks. You know what snapped us out of it? 50,000 screaming Chinamen!
Ray: But, Dad, where's Robert gonna get his hands on 50,000 screaming Chinamen?

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Quote from Robert

Robert: Hey. Remember me? You ran into me a few months ago. Actually, it was more than that. You gored me. You ran after me, you caught up with me, and you gored me right in the ass! That's right. Huh, why'd you do it, huh? You damn bull.
Ray: Robert, Robert, I know I know we're outside, but inside voice.
Robert: All right. Look, you were probably just going on instinct. But you really screwed things up for me. I got famous 'cause of you. Not the good kind of famous. The kind of famous where people point at your butt and laugh. I was in the hospital. That's right. I had to sit on a special pillow. I don't know where your parents are right now, but how would you like to have to go and live with them for awhile? My father has always been a very insensitive man. And my mother, well, there's really not enough time...
Ray: Hey, Robert, you should probably...
Robert: I want him to know.
Boy: Hi, bull. [feeds the bull and walks away]
Robert: This was the one.
Ray: Oh, yeah?
Robert: Yeah. It felt even bigger. Hey, you hungry? I know if I don't eat, I get all cranky. [feeds the bull] You like that, huh? Good bull. Nestor. So you're Spanish.

Quote from Frank

Marie: I know what will make you feel better, Robbie. Come over. I have some lambchops.
Frank: Oh, yum. Bet that comes with the big side of room and board.
Robert: What are you saying?
Frank: You got no job, you can't pay your rent. Here's Robbie.
Robert: I'll get another job, okay? There's lots of things I can do.
Frank: Yeah, right.
Marie: Frank.
Frank: Don't "Frank" me. I'm the one who's gonna be shelling out for his feed for the next 20 years. Or however long giants live nowadays.

Quote from Marie

Debra: You know, he needs to talk to somebody about this.
Frank: Like who? A shrink?
Debra: Well, what's wrong with that?
Marie: Excuse me, but they don't help. They just blame the mother.
Ray: Yeah, that can't be it.

Quote from Robert

Announcer: [v.o.] And now a message from your local Safety Council.
Robert: Hello, I'm Sergeant Robert Barone of the New York City Police Department. Now you may remember me and my friend Nestor here from this little video. That's me, and that's Nestor. Not a fun day. Remember, always be alert when crossing the street. Use crosswalks and always look in both directions for oncoming traffic before stepping off the curb. Take it from me and Nestor, when you're out on the street, anything can happen. And that's no bull. [chuckles]

Quote from Marie

Debra: Marie, if the kids come down, don't give 'em any candy now 'cause they didn't eat their dinner.
Marie: I saw the meatloaf pan in the sink. I'm sure they did the best they could.

Quote from Robert

Ray: What happened, Robert?
Robert: I had a confrontation with some punk in the candy store, and I don't know... I just... I got scared. I-I-I was thinking, "What if his friends jump me? What if he has a gun?" I froze. It's never happened before.
Frank: Is this gonna be in the papers? 'Cause I'm just starting to live down the bull-in-the-ass thing.
Robert: No, Dad, but thanks for understanding.
Debra: You know, Robert, that was your first day back. You have to give yourself a chance to adjust.
Robert: You can't adjust to terror. You never know what's out there. I didn't know a bull was gonna come around the corner at me. I- I didn't know what the kid had in his posh-posh. I'm not going back.
Ray: Posh-posh?

Quote from Robert

Robert: All right, forget it. Okay, why do I even bother talking to you people?
Debra: Robert, come on. You really wanna leave your friends and your partner and the job you've had your whole life?
Robert: Don't you get it? I froze out there, man!
Ray: Robert, listen-
Robert: No, you listen, okay? You all listen. I'm done being a cop. A door closes, another one opens. [opens door] And I'm going through that door. And I'm shutting it behind me. The end. [closes door]

Quote from Ray

Debra: So this is very exciting, huh?
Robert: Yep, back with Amy. Going back to work. Living in my own place again. I'll tell ya, things are really moving forward.
Ray: To where they were four months ago.

Quote from Robert

Sergeant Judy: Disorderly youths, that's all? I was hoping your first day back we'd have a homicide.
Robert: Oh, that's sweet. Hey, it's still early yet, right?

Quote from Marie

Marie: Is that what you're wearing to dinner, Robert?
Ray: What the hell, man?
Robert: I don't feel like going out tonight.
Amy: Why, what's wrong?
Robert: Nothing. Person doesn't want to eat, he doesn't have to eat.
Marie: That's not true.

Quote from Marie

Frank: What the hell do you mean you quit?
Robert: I quit. I'm not a police officer anymore.
Ray: Come on, you didn't quit.
Robert: I told my squad this afternoon.
Debra: Robert, you were so excited about going back.
Robert: I changed my mind.
Marie: What happened? Did you skip lunch? You know how cranky you get?
Robert: That wasn't it, Ma. Judy and I went into this candy store.
Marie: Candy is not a meal.

Quote from Robert

Marie: Robbie, I'll help you, dear. Have you been thinking of anything else you'd like to do, dear?
Robert: I was thinking about getting into telemarketing.
Marie: Oh God, no.
Robert: A friend of mine does very well selling extended appliance warranties over the phone.
Ray: Telemarketing? You think people hate cops...
Debra: Robert, listen, you don't wanna do that. You've always told me how much you love protecting the public.
Robert: I'll still be protecting the public from faulty appliances.
Robert: Listen, look, I've thought about this, okay? On a good week, I can make the same pay as I would on the force. And as a telemarketer, I don't even have to leave my apartment.
Ray: Or bathe.

Quote from Ray

Debra: This is awful, Ray. You gotta do something.
Ray: I know... Telemarketing. The first people those guys call are their family members.

Quote from Robert

Robert: What are you doing? I thought we were going to lunch.
Ray: We're going for lunch. I just thought we'd take a walk.
Robert: Walk?
Ray: What? It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon. Two brothers can't go for a walk on a beautiful Sunday afternoon?
Robert: Oh, so this is a regular thing now? We're gonna do this every 40 years?
Ray: If you want, yeah.

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