‘Debra Makes Something Good’
Season 4, Episode 18 - Aired February 28, 2000
Ray is surprised by how good Debra's braciole is, but that doesn't stop him making jokes about her cooking.
Quote from Robert
Robert: So Debra can now cook. The missing color in the Raymond rainbow.
Quote from Robert
Frank: One, two, three, four, five. I'm in the conservatory, and I'd like to call on Mrs. Peacock with the lead pipe.
Marie: I was just one away from the library, Frank. You're just picking on me.
Frank: Tough crap, Peacock. Get your tail-feathers in the conservatory.
Ray: [enters] Hey.
Marie: Oh hi, dear. We're playing Clue. It's keeping Robert's mind sharp for when he's a policeman again.
Robert: Yeah. You know, Ray, there's been a wave of candlestick murders in the Bronx.
Quote from Frank
Marie: Frank never told you that braciole was the very first thing I ever cooked for him?
Ray: Oh, boy.
Debra: No, I didn't know that.
Marie: You didn't know that? Do you know what he said to me when he tasted my braciole in 1955? He said, "Be my bride."
Frank: Marie, come on.
Marie: "Be my bride," Frank. "Be my bride." But it's very clear now that you'll go to any girl with a pot.
Frank: You hardly make it for me anymore!
Marie: 'Cause I didn't want you to get sick of it.
Frank: I'm 64 years old. What are you saving it for?
Quote from Frank
Frank: You make jokes about this food? Have you no decency?
Ray: Oh, stop. Come on, Dad! It's just, you know, it's just wife jokes, that's all. It's something you do when, you know, when you're with the guys.
Frank: I never.
Ray: Oh, what are you talking about? Like you don't make jokes.
Frank: First of all, if I have anything to say about your mother, I'm not afraid to say it right to her face. Second of all, those are not jokes.
Marie: Yesterday, you called me an old bag.
Frank: If that's a joke, then it's on me. [chuckles] Right in front of her!
Quote from Frank
Marie: And what did Debra make tonight?
Frank: Lasagna. It's over.
Marie: What?
Frank: I think that braciole is all she can make. Listen, Marie, I learned something. A man needs more than braciole. A man needs chicken, veal, eggplant parmesan.
Marie: Manicotti?
Frank: Yes, manicotti.
Marie: Oh, Frank! [they hug] And Frank?
Frank: Yes?
Marie: We'll never speak of this again.
Quote from Frank
Frank: You should ask Debra how she makes this.
Marie: I should ask Debra? I should ask Debra? Gimme that!
[Marie takes a bite of the braciole. Without saying a word, she throws down the fork and leaves the room]
Frank: This food has magical powers. I'm gonna string some of this around my neck.
Quote from Marie
Ray: So it is good. It's not just me coming off airline food.
Robert: It's amazing. I mean, that is amazing.
Frank: Are you sure your Debra made this?
Ray: I know, I couldn't believe it either. She came up with some recipe.
Marie: Recipe?
Ray: Yeah, what?
Marie: Real cooks don't need recipes. We know how to add love and caring because there's no greater joy than feeding our- Frank, you're a pig. Stop moaning!
Quote from Debra
Ray: What is it?
Debra: It's braciole, you know, stuffed beef.
Ray: Really? Braciole? Who made it?
Debra: I did. Just try it.
Ray: You're not having any?
Debra: No, I had some, you know, with the kids. I had some with the kids.
Ray: Oh. How are you feeling?
Debra: It's not poisoned, Ray. If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't do it that way.
Ray: All right, that goes in the file.
Quote from Robert
Ray: Hey, try this.
Frank: What is it?
Ray: Braciole.
Marie: Braciole?
Frank: I'm in. Who made it?
Ray: Debra.
Frank: I'm out.
Robert: Here, Ray, I'll try Debra's braciole. I'm filled with antibiotics.
Quote from Frank
Frank: I was just wondering if there was any of your delicious braciole left. Oh, these are for you.
Ray: Oh, Dad, not now, please, all right?
Frank: Hey, you got a little spot there. I'm telling you, Debra, that stuff you made is so great, I woke up thinking about it. Is anybody eating this?
Debra: No, Frank. You know what? You can have it. At least someone appreciates it.
Ray: Hey, I appreciate it-
Debra: Thank you for the flowers, Frank.
Frank: Anyone who can make braciole like this deserves a whole hillside full of heavenly-scented marigolds and daffodils.
Ray: I happen to agree with him-
Debra: That's very sweet, Frank. That's the nicest thing anybody's said to me in quite some time. Would you like something to drink?
Frank: No, I don't want to dilute the flavor. Please sit down. You should be resting with your feet up.