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‘Debra Makes Something Good’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Debra Makes Something Good

418. Debra Makes Something Good

Aired February 28, 2000

Ray is surprised by how good Debra's braciole is, but that doesn't stop him making jokes about her cooking.

Quote from Robert

Robert: So Debra can now cook. The missing color in the Raymond rainbow.

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Quote from Robert

Frank: One, two, three, four, five. I'm in the conservatory, and I'd like to call on Mrs. Peacock with the lead pipe.
Marie: I was just one away from the library, Frank. You're just picking on me.
Frank: Tough crap, Peacock. Get your tail-feathers in the conservatory.
Ray: [enters] Hey.
Marie: Oh hi, dear. We're playing Clue. It's keeping Robert's mind sharp for when he's a policeman again.
Robert: Yeah. You know, Ray, there's been a wave of candlestick murders in the Bronx.

Quote from Frank

Marie: Frank never told you that braciole was the very first thing I ever cooked for him?
Ray: Oh, boy.
Debra: No, I didn't know that.
Marie: You didn't know that? Do you know what he said to me when he tasted my braciole in 1955? He said, "Be my bride."
Frank: Marie, come on.
Marie: "Be my bride," Frank. "Be my bride." But it's very clear now that you'll go to any girl with a pot.
Frank: You hardly make it for me anymore!
Marie: 'Cause I didn't want you to get sick of it.
Frank: I'm 64 years old. What are you saving it for?

Quote from Frank

Frank: You make jokes about this food? Have you no decency?
Ray: Oh, stop. Come on, Dad! It's just, you know, it's just wife jokes, that's all. It's something you do when, you know, when you're with the guys.
Frank: I never.
Ray: Oh, what are you talking about? Like you don't make jokes.
Frank: First of all, if I have anything to say about your mother, I'm not afraid to say it right to her face. Second of all, those are not jokes.
Marie: Yesterday, you called me an old bag.
Frank: If that's a joke, then it's on me. [chuckles] Right in front of her!

Quote from Frank

Marie: And what did Debra make tonight?
Frank: Lasagna. It's over.
Marie: What?
Frank: I think that braciole is all she can make. Listen, Marie, I learned something. A man needs more than braciole. A man needs chicken, veal, eggplant parmesan.
Marie: Manicotti?
Frank: Yes, manicotti.
Marie: Oh, Frank! [they hug] And Frank?
Frank: Yes?
Marie: We'll never speak of this again.

Quote from Frank

Frank: You should ask Debra how she makes this.
Marie: I should ask Debra? I should ask Debra? Gimme that!
[Marie takes a bite of the braciole. Without saying a word, she throws down the fork and leaves the room]
Frank: This food has magical powers. I'm gonna string some of this around my neck.

Quote from Marie

Ray: So it is good. It's not just me coming off airline food.
Robert: It's amazing. I mean, that is amazing.
Frank: Are you sure your Debra made this?
Ray: I know, I couldn't believe it either. She came up with some recipe.
Marie: Recipe?
Ray: Yeah, what?
Marie: Real cooks don't need recipes. We know how to add love and caring because there's no greater joy than feeding our- Frank, you're a pig. Stop moaning!

Quote from Debra

Ray: What is it?
Debra: It's braciole, you know, stuffed beef.
Ray: Really? Braciole? Who made it?
Debra: I did. Just try it.
Ray: You're not having any?
Debra: No, I had some, you know, with the kids. I had some with the kids.
Ray: Oh. How are you feeling?
Debra: It's not poisoned, Ray. If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't do it that way.
Ray: All right, that goes in the file.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Hey, try this.
Frank: What is it?
Ray: Braciole.
Marie: Braciole?
Frank: I'm in. Who made it?
Ray: Debra.
Frank: I'm out.
Robert: Here, Ray, I'll try Debra's braciole. I'm filled with antibiotics.

Quote from Frank

Frank: I was just wondering if there was any of your delicious braciole left. Oh, these are for you.
Ray: Oh, Dad, not now, please, all right?
Frank: Hey, you got a little spot there. I'm telling you, Debra, that stuff you made is so great, I woke up thinking about it. Is anybody eating this?
Debra: No, Frank. You know what? You can have it. At least someone appreciates it.
Ray: Hey, I appreciate it-
Debra: Thank you for the flowers, Frank.
Frank: Anyone who can make braciole like this deserves a whole hillside full of heavenly-scented marigolds and daffodils.
Ray: I happen to agree with him-
Debra: That's very sweet, Frank. That's the nicest thing anybody's said to me in quite some time. Would you like something to drink?
Frank: No, I don't want to dilute the flavor. Please sit down. You should be resting with your feet up.

Quote from Frank

Frank: I thought you were taking a bath.
Marie: I was. I finished.
Frank: Oh. How was it?
Marie: It was fine, Frank. Thank you for making it for me. You haven't made a bath for me in 35 years.
Frank: Uh, you seemed to need it.

Quote from Robert

Robert: Actually, not to defend Raymond, that is a guy thing, Debra. I've often found that men use the wife joke to, uh, form bonds and share common experiences. [sits down] Am I sitting in sauce?
Debra: Yes, Robert.
Robert: Good. I was afraid I popped a stitch.

Quote from Ray

Debra: This is what I don't understand. You're always making fun of my cooking, but I finally make something you like and you're still making jokes about it. Why?
Ray: I'm a complicated person. Oh, come on, it's just that's who I am. I make fun of the wife a little. "Oh, here's Ray. Ray, what did she do to you last night?" And if I say, "She made some braciole and it was quite tasty," wha- who wants to hang out with that guy?
Debra: But don't you think that there's something wrong that the only way you can be popular is at my expense?
Ray: I wish there was another way.
Debra: All right-
Ray: Aw, come on. I'm kidding. Hey look, we know the score here. You got it all over me, right? You're the pretty, smart, together, good one. I'm the one they say, "How did he get her?" So I don't know, maybe in my stupid way, I'm telling them how. You know, "She can't cook. Ha ha." [forced laughter] What? It could be worse. You know Chuck Wilson? You know what he told me? He said his wife is so cold, when he gets into bed with her, he has to shoo away the penguins. Shoo away the penguins. That's cold. Wilson's wife. And yet I don't think any less of her.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Hey, twins are asleep already? I thought you were gonna read them a story.
Ray: I did, but I put on my boring voice, you know? "And he huffed and puffed and blew the house down."
Debra: Yeah, what a difference.

Quote from Debra

Ray: Hey!
Debra: Good?
Ray: Yeah! Yeah, good. Even better the second time now that my tongue's not scared. Mmm, man, this is great.
Debra: Yeah, you really like it?
Ray: It's good. I really do. Let me at it.
Debra: Oh, that's I'm so happy! Oh, look, you're sitting down! Ooh! I did it, huh? I really did it!

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