Amy: Sorry we took so long, but listen to this. While we were waiting for our order in the bar, Robert got discovered!
Debra: Oh, what do you mean?
Ray: Discovered as in, "Hey, I found Bigfoot"?

Marie: We noticed your lights were on.
Amy: Guess what?
Marie: What?
Amy: Robert signed with a modeling agent.
Frank: All right, what's the punch line?
Robert: No joke, Dad. William Dennison of the William Dennison Modeling Agency felt that I had potential as a model, and, uh, I've decided to fulfill it.
Marie: Oh, Robert, that's wonderful! Oh! Even as a baby, you were always a looker.
Frank: I always thought he was more of a "Look at that."

Ray: No, Robert. This is what they want. God forbid you should feel good about yourself. This family is so negative, and I'm sick of it!
Marie: It's not him. It's the photos.
Ray: It's you! And you! And you, and you, and even you!
Robert: You're losin' me, man.
Ray: All of you. You're giver-uppers and put-er-downers.
Debra: Ray, where you going?
Ray: I know some sports people, and they do some modeling and have agents, and I'd like a second opinion. So you can all just stay here in your little suburban suburbia where everything is in focus and nobody's head is cut off! [exits]
Robert: Raymond really believes in me.

Amy: No, really! This modeling agent came over to us and said Robert had an interesting look. He said he should come in for a meeting. Here's his card.
Debra: Robert, this is terrific. You should call him.
Robert: Ah, come on. The guy was probably drunk.
Ray: Yeah. Or blind. Or- Or mentally-
Robert: Okay, let's just go with blind and drunk! All right, Raymond?

Ray: Are you sure this is the right place?
Robert: Yes. Yeah, yes. I don't get it. Yesterday, there were all these people here. And- And I went over here to sit, and this is where the lady was who helped me, and then this was William's office over here. And they said, "Go do your pictures." I came in here. I met Herbert. And then after that, I went over here. And then I said, "Okay. Thank you very much. I'll come back to get 'em." And then l- I left, and l- I don't know.
Ray: So, basically, what you're saying is the most attractive woman I'm gonna see today is you.
Robert: I don't know what happened. Even the light bulbs are gone. It- It's like a con job.
Ray: How could it be a con job? I mean... Oh, don't tell me you paid the guy to represent you.
Robert: No. I only paid for the pictures. I paid for the pictures.
Ray: Oh man. How much?
Robert: $1000.
Ray: $1000? Are you nuts?
Robert: It would've cost me a lot more with one of those outside guys!

Robert: How can I calm down? Do you know what this means? I've been conned, and I'm a cop. I'm a conned cop!
Ray: All right. So why don't you just track the guys down, and you throw 'em in jail?
Robert: Yeah, sure. I can just imagine the headlines: "Giant Cop is Giant Schmuck!"

Ray: Look, you just tell them that you decided that this career was not for you. You're too much of a man.
Robert: Okay. But, see, they're expecting pictures. Amy knows I paid $1,500.
Ray: I thought you said $1,000.
Robert: I lied, okay, Raymond?! I'm a moron!
Ray: All right, so we'll get some new pictures made.
Robert: No, I can't. That was my last $2,000.
Ray: $2,000?!
Robert: I know!
Ray: Well, $2,000? What were these, pictures or sculptures?

Robert: Okay. Here it is, nice and hot. You're gonna wish you ordered more egg rolls, Raymond.
Ray: Why?
Robert: 'Cause I ate 'em in the car.

Amy: Come on, Robert. Aren't you a little bit intrigued?
Debra: Yeah. What if he wasn't any of those things?
Robert: Well, he must've been all those things, or he would've given his card to the real beauty in the restaurant. My Amy.
Amy: Oh, my handsome model.
Robert: Yeah.
Ray: Aw! How am I gonna eat now?
Robert: You know, you could kiss your wife once in a while.
Debra: Let's eat.

Robert: Hello. I'm here to see William Dennison.
Receptionist: What's your name?
Robert: Bobby Barone.
Receptionist: Who?
Robert: Robert Barone.