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‘Favors’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Favors

910. Favors

Aired January 17, 2005

After Debra accidentally throws away something important to Ray, Marie steps in and takes the blame.

Quote from Marie

Robert: It was you? Oh my God, I'm sorry, Ma. I've been giving you the silent treatment all week.
Marie: You have?

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Quote from Marie

Marie: I know. I'm sorry. I mean, there was so much stuff in the drawer and I was just trying to clean up. And I know I shouldn't be doing that. Right, Debra?
Debra: Yes. Yes. How many times have I told you we can clean our house ourselves?
Marie: I know, I don't listen.
Debra: I guess you don't.
Ray: Do you have any idea what you've done?
Marie: Oh, I apologize, Raymond. It breaks my heart to hurt you. And if there's anything... [sobs] If there's anything I can... [cries]
Ray: Oh, no. No, you don't. No. You don't cry. I cry. You come uninvited into my house and you go into a private drawer and you throw out the best thing that's happened to me in years. Oh. It's at the dump, Ma. It's at the dump! [exits]
Marie: [stops crying] There we go.

Quote from Marie

Frank: Where the hell are all my clothes?
Marie: Debra took them.
Frank: Why would you take my clothes?
Marie: I'm really very upset with you, Debra.
Debra: I'm sorry, Frank.
Frank: Where the hell are they? [Debra looks to Marie]
Marie: Well, Debra said she was gonna have them cleaned. Why don't you tell him how you were over at our house and the boy came to the door?
Debra: A boy came to the door. [Debra looks back at Marie]
Marie: And he said he was with a new dry-cleaners and that he was trying to make some money for college and Debra decided to help him out.
Frank: He was going door to door? That doesn't make any sense.
Marie: It sounds a little fishy to me, Debra.

Quote from Marie

Frank: And then she dug up Marie's nice rosebush. She's gotta be stopped.
Marie: My roses! [hits Frank] Oh, you horrible brute!
Frank: It wasn't me, it was Debra. Debra, you're on.
Marie: Oh, stop it. Admit it was you.
Frank: I'll admit it when you tell me what you did with my clothes.
Marie: They're gone.
Frank: Where are they?
Marie: I dropped them off at a homeless shelter, and they're being used to wash cars.

Quote from Marie

Amy: Wow, Marie. Seems like you cover for everybody.
Marie: That's what a mother does.
Ray: Yeah, a mother who wants to control everybody. You get something on everybody, and then you use it.
Debra: Yeah.
Robert: Is that what a mother does?
Marie: Excuse me. Did I ask you all to come to me and ask for these favors? You come to me because you know that I can deliver. Go out on the street and ask for those favors and see what you get. And so, yes maybe sometimes I ask for a favor in return, once in a blue moon. And you call that controlling? I call that a family.
Amy: A Mafia family.
Marie: Is that what you think, Amy?
Amy: I'm sorry.
Marie: No, no, no, maybe you're right. Maybe it's wrong for me to have all these secrets. I mean, the truth is, it's a burden to hold on to all these things that I know about everyone. Maybe I should just clear the air right now.

Quote from Marie

Marie: Hello, dear. How are you?
Debra: I don't know.
Marie: What's wrong?
Debra: Ray is gonna kill me.
Marie: Oh, dear. I told you. You know, salt is just a seasoning. It can't be the main ingredient.

Quote from Debra

Debra: All right, Frank, listen. You've always been honest with me, so... there's something I gotta tell you.
Frank: What?
Debra: Marie's the one that got rid of your clothes.
Frank: What?
Debra: You can't tell her I told you.
Frank: I knew it. That story had Marie's stink all over it. Why did you cover for her?
Debra: She helped me out with something and I owed her a favor.
Frank: Okay, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go strangle a woman with her own bathrobe.
Debra: No, no, no! No! You can't strangle her because then she'll know I told you, and then she'll tell... Unless you really strangle her. No, no, no.

Quote from Marie

Debra: No, no, no, Marie, it's not that. Ray got this letter from Muhammad Ali.
Marie: I heard. You know that Robert's responsible for the correspondence?
Debra: Yes, I know.
Marie: He was so excited to do that for his little brother. He hasn't talked about anything else. Isn't that sweet? You know, Raymond's loved that Muhammad Ali ever since I can remember.
Debra: I threw it out.
Marie: What?!
Debra: I threw the letter out.
Marie: Oh my God, why would you do such a thing?
Debra: I was straightening up.
Marie: No, really. Why?

Quote from Marie

Debra: Marie. What- I don't know what to say.
Marie: You don't have to say anything, dear.
Debra: Thank you.
Marie: It was nothing. Who knows? Someday I may ask you for a favor.
Debra: Oh, of course. Of course, I will do anything.
Marie: Good. We have an understanding. Let's have some cake.

Quote from Marie

Marie: How are things, dear?
Debra: Well, better. It's been a week, so Ray's not yelling at you in his sleep anymore.
Marie: That's nice. Listen, I'm sure you've noticed over the years that Frank dresses like a derelict. Well, I have finally figured out how to remedy that situation.
Frank: [o.s.] Marie!
Marie: Oh, there he is. Now, remember I said someday I might ask you for a favor?
Frank: [o.s.] Marie!
Marie: That day has come.

Quote from Debra

Debra: Frank, what are you doing?
Frank: Remember how you owe me?
Debra: Marie's not in there, is she?

Quote from Debra

Ray: You seen my "Sports Illustrated"?
Debra: Nope.
Ray: Are you sure? 'Cause I left it here a couple days ago.
Debra: I don't know, but we have to eat, and there's always piles of everything everywhere.
Ray: Oh. You threw it out, didn't you?
Debra: I'm just saying if it was there for days and it didn't get put away, then yeah, there's a chance it got thrown out.
Ray: Okay, look, here's the rule: Don't touch my stuff.
Debra: No, no. Here's the rule: Put your stuff away.
Ray: Well, you- You just you love throwing my stuff out. You'd be happy if the mailman delivered my magazine right into the garbage.
Debra: You got me there.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Look, come on. This is my house too. If I put something there, I should be able to get to it when I get to it. You know I'm a slow reader.
Debra: Look, there's a very simple solution to this. Put your stuff away.
Ray: No. No. Don't touch my stuff.
Debra: Put it away.
Ray: Don't touch it.
Debra: Put it-
Ray: Don't!
Debra: I will not touch it if you put it away.
Ray: I will put it away when you're done not touching it.
Debra: Genius.
Ray: Yeah. That's right. I'm going to the bathroom. Or did you throw that out too?

Quote from Robert

Robert: Remember when you wrote that article about how Muhammad Ali was your first sports hero?
Ray: Yeah.
Robert: Might want to read that.
Ray: "Dear Ray, your brother sent me your excellent article. I enjoyed it very much, even though nothing rhymed. Keep dancing, Muhammad Ali."
Robert: All right, come on. We're late for golf.
Ray: Wait. Wait, wait. What- What is this? Muhammad Ali? How did you get this?
Robert: Okay. Listen my partner and I, we went on this call, right? And there was this nutjob lady who was bothering Ali. She thinks she's Joe Frazier and Ali is trying to, you know, duck her. Anyway, she's now the heavyweight champ of Bellevue. So I end up talking to Ali's manager, and I sent him your article, and he sent this back.
Ray: My God, Robert.
Robert: You're welcome.
Ray: I'm gonna frame this. I'm gonna redesign the house around this.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Oh, and uh, thanks, man. You're a good brother.
Robert: Great brother. [imitates Ali] The greatest of all time.

Quote from Gianni

Debra: Hey, guys. How was golf?
Ray: Oh, it was great.
Gianni: Yeah, great. [as Ray] "Muhammad Ali sent me a letter. I love Muhammad Ali and Muhammad Ali loves me."

Quote from Marie

Ray: Ma, I'm looking for Robert. Where's Robert? Robert! I'm looking for this this letter. It was in a white envelope...
Debra: Ray.
Ray: What?
Debra: There's something I gotta tell you.
Ray: What?
Marie: I threw out your Muhammad Ali letter.
Ray: What?!
Debra: Marie!
Marie: I know, Raymond. I am sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing until Debra said to me that it was in the drawer and l...
Ray: And you threw it out?! I gotta get to the trash.
Marie: The truck came already.
Ray: Oh! Muhammad! Muhammad!

Quote from Marie

Debra: I know, but it's true.
Frank: And you gave him my clothes? Well, get them back!
Marie: I don't know if she can. Debra, why don't you tell him what happened when you called the number the boy gave you?
Debra: Yes, right. Nobody answered.
Frank: Wait a minute, I know what this is. This is a scam. That punk kid's out there selling my stuff.
Marie: I'm sure he'll make a fortune.

Quote from Frank

Frank: What were you thinking?
Debra: I don't know. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry, Frank.
Frank: Sorry's not gonna keep the snow off my ass.
Marie: All right, don't worry, Frank. I'll help you get new clothes. In fact, I have an outfit that I was gonna give you to wear for Easter. I'll let you wear it today.
Frank: Well, bring it over here. I don't want to go back out there like this. The mailman already made a crack about my legs. [Marie exits] Look what you did. I hate the clothes she buys me. I always end up looking like a dandy or a Frenchman.
Debra: I'm so sorry, Frank. But it could be fun to buy new clothes. Sometimes it's kind of cool to change your look.
Frank: You hate me, don't you?

Quote from Frank

Frank: No, I just dug up a rosebush.
Debra: Why did you do that?
Frank: It was in the swing zone of my hammock.
Debra: What do you want me to do?
Frank: Take the rap. [rubs mud on Debra's face]
Debra: Frank, what are you-
Frank: Put these on.
Marie: Frank. [Debra & Frank gasp] Where have you been? Your dinner's ready. What's all that?
Frank: I was just about to ask Debra the same thing. Debra, what have you done?
Amy: What's going on?
Frank: Uh, Debra's been up to something, and I, for one, don't like the looks of it.

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