Robert: This again?!
Marie: A woman ate a fly? Nobody believes your stories, Robbie. Just say it.
Robert: No!
Marie: "I'm a gay."
Robert: What?
Marie: You'll feel better. "Hello, I'm queer, and now I'm here!"
Ray: Who says that?
Marie: That's the slogan. Just admit it already!

Debra: Listen, Robert, just relax. If Angela really is the one, she's gonna have to meet your parents at some point. You might as well get it over with. Right, Ray?
Ray: [turns around] She's not the one.
Robert: What?
Ray: Come here. Listen. Listen. I saw something that I have to tell you, because you have to know, because I saw it.
Robert: What are you talking about?
Debra: What did you see, Ray?
Ray: Angela ate the fly.
Debra: What?!
Robert: What do you mean?
Ray: The fly that was flying around, Angela killed it, it fell on the table, she put it in a napkin, and then she ate it!

Debra: Come on, Robert, she does not.
Ray: Oh, what is it about you that you don't believe me when I tell you? She sat right there at your dinner table and ate a fly!
Marie: I could believe that.
Ray: No, Mom, it wasn't in the food.
Marie: Oh. I don't believe that.

Angela: Robert?
Robert: Oh! Hello!
Angela: What are you doing?
Robert: I'm seeing if it's still raining.
Angela: You're going out the window.
Robert: What? Oh, no, no, no, no. Yes. Yes, I-I-I am. But just- just for a second because my car has my poncho in it. So... I'm gonna run and get my trusty poncho, and then I'm gonna go get some ice cream for us. Ya like ice cream? I do. I like it with chocolate chips or nuts and sprinkles... And actually, somebody told me that you might prefer a different topping.
Angela: You know, Robert, we all come from frogs.
Robert: Ah. Interesting. Good night.

Robert: Yeah, yeah, you know what? Laugh all you want, 'cause I'm done.
Debra: What do you mean you're done?
Robert: Done. I'm done dating. I'm done trying to meet someone. I'm done with humiliation. I can't anymore.
Frank: There's nothing humiliating about going out the window. If your mother's apartment had been one floor lower, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Ray: Ma, I saw that girl eat a fly!
Marie: Stop it, Raymond! Why can't you just accept that your brother is different? I accept you, Robbie.
Robert: Listen, Ma, I would love nothing more than to tell you I'm gay.
Frank: Marie, look what you're doing!
Robert: But I'm not, Dad, all right? So you can unclench your intestines. I wish I had a good reason why I'm always striking out. But I don't. It's me. It's me. Most people find their other half. And I just have to wake up and accept already that maybe there is no other half... for this.
Marie: Oh, Robbie!
Robert: See you later.

Marie: Robbie, honey, I know what you're going through, and I can help you. I just want you, once and for all, to say it to me.
Robert: What are you talking about? Say what to you?
Marie: That you're homosexual.
Robert: Ma!
Marie: Just say it!
Frank: No, don't say it!
Robert: I'm not saying it!

Robert: No! Would you stop?!
Marie: Well, then, what is it? Because I can't take it anymore. You're torturing me, do you know that? You are into your 40s, and still you can't settle down. I stay up nights tossing and turning in my bed because I'm so sick about it. I just want you to be with someone, anyone, I don't care who it is. I mean, for God's sakes, do you want to die alone?
Frank: Yes! Oh, him.

Robert: Well, you can believe it, Ma. It's the story of my life I finally meet a girl who has absolutely everything I ever wanted, she's the Frog Woman of Massapequa.
Debra: I thought you said it was flies.
Robert: She keeps frogs, thousands of frogs all over her apartment, and she feeds them flies, I guess... I dunno. She's a freakin' sideshow. What do you want from me?

Debra: What the hell are you doing, Ray?!
Robert: Yeah, man, what is your problem?
Ray: I'm telling you, I saw that woman eat a fly!
Debra: Oh, she did not! You must have seen something else.
Ray: Oh, what, then?! What did I see?
Debra: I don't know. Maybe it was a crouton or something.
Ray: A flying crouton?!