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‘The Finale’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: The Finale

916. The Finale

Aired May 16, 2005

After Ray has minor surgery, there's a brief moment when the doctors worry he isn't coming around.

Quote from Robert

Robert: Raymond has his adenoids out, the whole world has to stop.
Amy: Oh, Robert, it's okay. He feels better that we're here.
Robert: Oh, he has no feelings. The only reason I'm here is because Ma knows that I'm the same blood type as him.
Marie: Not everything's about you, Robert. And keep your sleeves rolled up.
Robert: Maybe I had other things to do today.
Marie: Enough. This is what a family does. We stick together. We support each other.
Robert: Stop looking at my veins!

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Quote from Debra

Marie: Raymond! Oh, Raymond. Oh, my sweet Raymond. [climbs on the bed with Ray & Debra]
Ray: Ma. Whoa, Ma. Oh, Ma. Ma, please!
Debra: I knew one day this would happen.

Quote from Frank

Robert: Aww, wook at wittle Waymond, all upset, 'cause they're gonna take his little adenoids out.
Ray: Forget about it. I'm not doing it.
Debra: Yes, you are. What kind of example do you think you're setting for the kids?
Frank: Yeah, and while you're in there, have the doctor look at your unenjoyable testicle.
Ray: It's undescended, Dad.
Frank: Yes, and do you enjoy it that way?

Quote from Frank

Robert: Why don't you just quit babying him, Ma, huh? They should just rip out your adenoids and be done with it.
Frank: Yeah, just go in, drop your drawers, bing, bang, boom.
Debra: Drop your drawers?
Robert: Do you even know where the adenoids are, Dad?
Frank: Sure, around back with the rest of the "oids."

Quote from Robert

Ray: What about you, Robert?
Robert: What? It was nothing. Oh, no, now I remember. I was thinking, with that nose you're gonna need an open casket.

Quote from Frank

Ray: So... What? I mean, what? You didn't think of anything?
Frank: Hey! I was there and I saw your wife fall apart. I never saw her look like that. And I'll tell you, I never wanna see her look like that again.
Ray: Yeah?
Debra: A little.

Quote from Marie

Ray: Debra doesn't care, Ma. You know, she actually said that getting your adenoids out is no big deal.
Marie: It's a very big deal. They want to take a piece of my Raymond away. I have all the medicine we need right here. I made you some minestrone soup. All right, children, you don't have to eat any more of that.
Kids: Yay.
Marie: Sit down. Okay, here. Now put your face right in here, like that, and breathe in. It's all good for you.
Debra: Marie, you really think food is gonna take care of Ray's adenoid problem?
Marie: I think good food will.

Quote from Frank

Ray: Ma. What what are you doing?
Frank: Marie, come on, get out of there. Come back across the street with me.
Marie: I'm not speaking to you.
Frank: Even better. Just get out of there.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Frank, what did you do?
Frank: I told her what happened.
Debra: What?
Frank: She beat it out of me.
Ray: Would somebody please tell me why my worst nightmare is coming true?!

Quote from Ray

Debra: We will all be so much happier when you get this done. Right, kids?
Kids: Yeah.
Ray: That's 'cause you think Mom's gonna take the insurance money and buy everyone a pony.

Quote from Marie

Debra: Your throat hurts, doesn't it?
Ray: No. No, look, I want a second opinion.
Debra: This is your third opinion.
Ray: Look, those doctors, they just want money. I don't trust them. I want an expert.
Marie: [enters] I got your message, Raymond. Don't let them touch you!
Ray: I won't, Mom. I won't.

Quote from Debra

Ray: What's up?
Debra: Nothing, just thinking. Just... Tomorrow. Everything I have to do, all the stuff you know, make breakfast, take the kids to school. I have some grocery shopping. We need chicken and some green beans and cereal and shampoo and potatoes and cookies. Then I have to pick up the dry-cleaning. They still have some of your shirts. [starts to sob] And then get the kids and take the boys to soccer... Get new uniforms. They're really cute. And I thought you could meet us at Marco's for dinner, maybe. You know, just get a pizza and then go home and... [weeps] Put the kids to bed and then maybe we could watch a movie.
Ray: Time of the month, huh?
Debra: No. No, Ray. No, I'm fine.
Ray: Oh.
Debra: Really.
Ray: All right, okay. Okay. You know, I could pick up the dry-cleaning if you want me to.
Debra: I don't want you to. You always bring home somebody else's. [kisses Ray]
Ray: Wow. I guess this new voice, it's pretty sexy, right?
Debra: I'm sorry, do you wanna finish your ice cream?
Ray: Oh, it won't even have time to melt.

Quote from Frank

Marie: Frank?
Frank: Yeah?
Marie: What are you doing?
Frank: Just thinking.
Marie: What's the matter, the TV broken?
Frank: No.
Marie: Look, if you're worried about Robert eating that last piece of pie, why don't you go down and get it right now? [After Marie rolls over, Frank turns to her and places his hand on her shoulder] Frank, get the pie yourself.
Frank: I don't want the pie. What, a guy can't just touch his wife's shoulder?
Marie: Frank, it's late, and I'm not in the mood.
Frank: Uh, this ain't that. You know, I was thinking sometimes I say stuff, like, you know, "You're old. You got a big mouth. You're a pain in the ass."
Marie: Oh well, now I'm in the mood.
Frank: No, I don't know what the hell I'm saying. It's just that I'm glad we're... You know?

Quote from Frank

Marie: All right, Frank. What's going on?
Frank: What?
Marie: Well, something's wrong. You don't just say no to pie, and touch my shoulder, and think. You have been acting weird ever since we got back from the hospital today.
Frank: Uh, on second thought, I do want sex. You're so beautiful, I can't resist you, honey.
Marie: Really? Since when do you say that? Usually all I get is, "Hey, come here a minute." What is it, Frank? Just tell me.
Frank: Okay, it's no big deal now, but you gotta promise not to tell anybody I told you.
Marie: Of course I promise. What is it?
Frank: When you were in the hospital and went to the bathroom, the nurse came out and said they were having a little trouble waking up Ray from the knockout stuff.
Marie: What?!
Frank: But two seconds later, he was fine. Perfectly fine.
Marie: My son almost dies, and you don't tell me?!
Frank: He was fine. [Marie gets out of bed] Where are you going?
Marie: What is wrong with you?!
Frank: He's fine. Marie, wait. Hey, come here a minute.

Quote from Ray

Ray: What about me? How could you not tell me this? If somebody dies, you gotta tell them.
Debra: You didn't die.
Ray: Yeah, well, what if I did? I would have never known. And besides, now that I think about it, I think I saw a light.
Debra: Come on.
Ray: Yes. And also, I thought I heard someone who sounded like Uncle Gus.
Marie: Uncle Gus died eight years ago. How did he look?

Quote from Ray

Ray: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I've been feeling a little weird all day. What if... What if I lost some brain functions while I was under, huh? Look at this. Look at this. I'm walking weird.
Frank: That's because your mother was just on you.
Ray: No, no, no. I'm walking a little lopsided.
Debra: All right, you're fine, Ray.
Marie: Hop on one foot.
Ray: Yeah?
Marie: What's your address?
Ray: 320 Fowler.
Marie: What town?
Ray: Lynbrook.
Marie: What's my birthday?
Ray: Uh...
Marie: Oh, my God!
Ray: No. December 9.
Frank: 1802!

Quote from Robert

Ray: Wait a minute. How about this thing?
[Ray hops on one leg, while patting his head and rubbing his stomach]
Robert: So I guess now we'll watch Raymond do anything.

Quote from Ray

Debra: He found out what happened.
Amy: Wait a minute, he knows?
Marie: Yes, and I know too, Amy.
Ray: Wait a minute. Everybody knows? How long was I dead for?
Debra: You weren't dead. The nurse came out, said they were having a slight problem, and the doctor came out 30 seconds later and said you were fine.
Ray: Okay, but but for 30 seconds you all thought I might be dead. What'd everybody do?
Debra: You weren't dead. It was 30 seconds.
Ray: 30 seconds is a long time. What went through your head? 30 seconds, okay, go. "Oh, I have to plan a funeral. I have to raise three kids myself. On the other hand, I can start dating, yeah. You know what? I'm gonna need some shoes. You know who's cute? Gianni."
Marie: Debra!

Quote from Debra

Debra: So how is it?
Ally: Great. How much more do we have to eat before dessert?
Debra: This ain't your night, kid. I made dessert too.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Hey, Ray.
Ally: Hi, Daddy.
Ray: Hey, Deb. Children.
Debra: What is it? Oh, you just came from the doctor.
Ray: Yes.
Debra: And?
Ray: He said that my adenoids have to come out.
Debra: All right, so I guess you have to have it done.
Ray: Is that it? That's your attitude?
Debra: Come on.
Ray: That's what you say? "Go ahead, Doc, cut that fat boy up."

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