Debra: And I hate to tell you this, but Michael said his first word today.
Ray: Come on. No.
Debra: Yeah, we were driving along the expressway and this truck cuts us off. And, well, you know, what you always say when that happens to you?
Ray: He said that?
Debra: Clear as a bell.
Ray: Oh, God. Well, how did he say it? Did he punch it out like I do?
Debra: Ray, it was as if you were in the car.

Marie: You are some brother.
Ray: Hi, Ma.
Marie: Don't Ma me. I finally got it out of Robert. He's been sitting over there for two days depressed moping not talking to anyone. And you know why?
Ray: Because he's Robert?
Marie: Because his brother sold him down the river for his own glory.
Ray: Hey, Ma, you want to hear what Michael said today?
Debra: No, I think you're about to hear it again.
Ray: Ma, look, I didn't do anything.
Marie: No? You dethroned him and then you took his crown. You're like Richard III. Or that guy on The Young and the Restless.

Ray: It's like playing the Globetrotters. I'm waiting for Meadowlark to pull my pants down.

Robert: Gentlemen, that was a disgrace. I'm embarrassed to be in the same children's locker room with you.
Ray: Robert, we won.
Robert: Yeah, we were lucky. I consider this a moral defeat. I'll tell you something else, Nemo's Pizzeria should have destroyed Wohoff's Chinese Takeout.

Robert: I guess that I'm the target of some backstage grumblings.
Ray: You're letting the captain thing go to your head. That's all you care about is this Captain. Captain Nemo. I got to tell you, nobody likes you this way. Maybe the captain thing is just too much.
Robert: Et tu, Raymond?

Ray: He did it to himself. The team was right.
Marie: You would put a basketball team before your family?
Ray: You don't understand. He was out of control. He was yelling he wouldn't listen to anybody. He screamed and then he stormed out.
Marie: That's nonsense, Who the hell in this family acts like that? You better get over there and make your brother feel better or the next time I come over, I won't be so nice. [storms out]

Robert: Thanks for thinking of me but I'm just going to have to pass.
Ray: You can't pass. We can't do it without you. Come on. You're the missing link.
Robert: I've heard that before.

Debra: What are you doing?
Ray: Oh, I'm emptying the dishwasher. Got that game tonight. Didn't want to leave you with everything.
Debra: Honey that's sweet. These are all dirty. Thanks for trying.

Debra: What's the matter honey? Did you lose?
Ray: No, we won.
Debra: I see. And you're sad for the other team?

Debra: Oh my God. You want to be captain. You want to be captain.
Ray: No, I don't.
Debra: Yes, you do.
Ray: I do not.
Debra: Look at you.
Ray: I don't want to be captain. It's the stupid Pizza League. Those guys don't have a life. I have a big life.
Debra: You really want this bad don't you?
Ray: No. I have you, I have Ally, I have Michael, Geoffrey. That's everybody right?