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‘Captain Nemo’ Quotes

Everybody Loves Raymond: Captain Nemo

111. Captain Nemo

Aired December 13, 1996

Ray is jealous when Robert is made captain of the Nemo's basketball team.

Quote from Debra

Debra: And I hate to tell you this, but Michael said his first word today.
Ray: Come on. No.
Debra: Yeah, we were driving along the expressway and this truck cuts us off. And, well, you know, what you always say when that happens to you?
Ray: He said that?
Debra: Clear as a bell.
Ray: Oh, God. Well, how did he say it? Did he punch it out like I do?
Debra: Ray, it was as if you were in the car.

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Quote from Marie

Marie: You are some brother.
Ray: Hi, Ma.
Marie: Don't Ma me. I finally got it out of Robert. He's been sitting over there for two days depressed moping not talking to anyone. And you know why?
Ray: Because he's Robert?
Marie: Because his brother sold him down the river for his own glory.
Ray: Hey, Ma, you want to hear what Michael said today?
Debra: No, I think you're about to hear it again.
Ray: Ma, look, I didn't do anything.
Marie: No? You dethroned him and then you took his crown. You're like Richard III. Or that guy on The Young and the Restless.

Quote from Robert

Robert: Gentlemen, that was a disgrace. I'm embarrassed to be in the same children's locker room with you.
Ray: Robert, we won.
Robert: Yeah, we were lucky. I consider this a moral defeat. I'll tell you something else, Nemo's Pizzeria should have destroyed Wohoff's Chinese Takeout.

Quote from Robert

Robert: I guess that I'm the target of some backstage grumblings.
Ray: You're letting the captain thing go to your head. That's all you care about is this Captain. Captain Nemo. I got to tell you, nobody likes you this way. Maybe the captain thing is just too much.
Robert: Et tu, Raymond?

Quote from Marie

Ray: He did it to himself. The team was right.
Marie: You would put a basketball team before your family?
Ray: You don't understand. He was out of control. He was yelling he wouldn't listen to anybody. He screamed and then he stormed out.
Marie: That's nonsense, Who the hell in this family acts like that? You better get over there and make your brother feel better or the next time I come over, I won't be so nice. [storms out]

Quote from Robert

Robert: Thanks for thinking of me but I'm just going to have to pass.
Ray: You can't pass. We can't do it without you. Come on. You're the missing link.
Robert: I've heard that before.

Quote from Debra

Debra: What are you doing?
Ray: Oh, I'm emptying the dishwasher. Got that game tonight. Didn't want to leave you with everything.
Debra: Honey that's sweet. These are all dirty. Thanks for trying.

Quote from Ray

Ray: It's like playing the Globetrotters. I'm waiting for Meadowlark to pull my pants down.

Quote from Debra

Debra: What's the matter honey? Did you lose?
Ray: No, we won.
Debra: I see. And you're sad for the other team?

Quote from Ray

Debra: Oh my God. You want to be captain. You want to be captain.
Ray: No, I don't.
Debra: Yes, you do.
Ray: I do not.
Debra: Look at you.
Ray: I don't want to be captain. It's the stupid Pizza League. Those guys don't have a life. I have a big life.
Debra: You really want this bad don't you?
Ray: No. I have you, I have Ally, I have Michael, Geoffrey. That's everybody right?

Quote from Debra

Debra: Listen, I don't get this. You work all the time and you have to go on road trips and when you come back you run off and play, and now you got to be captain?
Ray: Listen, I've been playing with these guys since high school and we've never come close to winning a championship. This time we're close. And if I can be captain, I know we can go all the way.
Debra: And winning is more important than spending time with your family?
Ray: Apples and oranges.
Debra: No, Ray. Apples or oranges. You know, I gave up some stuff when we had kids.
Ray: I know. Did it have to be sex?
Ray: I'm just trying to do it all that's all.
Debra: Okay you go ahead and try to do it all. I just think that you're choosing quantity over quality. Myself obviously representing quality.

Quote from Ray

Frank: [enters] There he is come on. Ray that was a great thing you did.
Ray: Not lock the door?
Frank: You stepped aside and let your brother be captain. Look at him. Captain Robert Barone.
Robert: Dad, don't call me that. I'm the same Robert I've always been.
Debra: Congratulations, Robert. We're really happy for you.
Robert: Thank you.
Debra: Isn't that right Ray?
Ray: I share his joy.

Quote from Frank

Frank: Come on get up. The Barone boys. Continuing a long legacy of athletic excellence.
Robert: Well, I couldn't have done it without Ray.
Ray: Always glad to help.
Robert: Hey, no fatty foods We've got games tomorrow and Saturday. I want the team to be lean and mean not soft and gooshy.
Ray: Don't touch my goosh.
Frank: Let's hear it for my firstborn. A leader of men. And my second son, a loyal follower.

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