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‘Brother’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Brother

203. Brother

Aired October 6, 1997

Frank and Marie encourage Ray to spend time with Robert on the second anniversary of his divorce.

Quote from Ray

Ray: My mom call yet?
Debra: No, I think she's still mad at you for making fun of her.
Ray: We do that all the time, she loves it.
Ray: Oh, no!
Ally: [as Ray] Oh, no!
Michael & Geoffrey: [as Ray] Oh, no!

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Quote from Ray

Marie: Why is it that every time I start to feel good, something has to ruin it?
Ray: Who ruins it for you?
Marie: You know what today is, don't you? It's the second anniversary of your brother's divorce.
Ray: Oh, I didn't get him a card.

Quote from Marie

Marie: You should see him sitting over there with the dog. It is so sad. Your father's trying everything to get him to snap out of it.
Debra: What's he doing?
Marie: He's yelling, "Snap out of it."

Quote from Debra

Debra: I really don't believe you people. He's your son. He's your brother. None of you can talk to him?
Ray: Where have you been?
Debra: Robert's going through a tough time. All he needs is someone to listen to him, to understand what he's going through.
Frank: You go.
Debra: No, not me. If I went, it would only be embarrassing for Robert. He would know you're all over here talking about him.
Marie: She's right. Not her. She's not family.
Debra: It's how I'm able to go on.

Quote from Ray

Robert: Man, she really let you have it, huh?
Ray: She had the look like Mom did when we were kids and she caught us eating that whole box of Sucrets. Remember that?
Robert: Yeah, my tongue was numb for a month.
Ray: Mom thought we were going to be drug addicts. She said, "That's how it starts."
Robert: Yeah. Remember when she flushed the children's aspirin down the toilet?
Ray: Those Sucrets were your idea.
Robert: Yeah. You were right there with me. Lozenge for lozenge. Everything I did, you always did. Couldn't get rid of you. Remember what I used to call you?
Ray: Yeah.
Robert: What'd I used to call you?
Ray: Right-behind-me Raymond.

Quote from Robert

Debra: Ally, what are you still doing up?
Ally: I had a bad dream.
Robert: Come on, kiddo. I know all about bad dreams. At least you get to wake up here.

Quote from Ray

Robert: Well, I don't know you, okay? I wanna know you.
Ray: Okay, you wanna know me?
Robert: Yeah.
Ray: All right. You asked about the first time I had sex with Debra. I'll tell you. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that someone like her would allow someone like me to sleep with them. So you know what happened? I cried. All right? I cried. I was so embarrassed, I couldn't let her see me. So for the whole time, I never looked at her once. Okay?
[Robert turns away and is silent for a few moments before turning the TV back on]
Robert: President looks good.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Hey! Ray, what're you doing?
Ray: Come on. I got turned on.
Debra: Just 'cause you're losing.
Ray: This way, we can both win.
Debra: Ray, come on. Let's just finish the game. [Marie enters] Ray, your mom.
Ray: Nice try.
Debra: Ray. [door closes]
Ray: Um... Debra's parents say this is okay.

Quote from Frank

Ray: Ma! What do you want?
Marie: I want you to be a brother. Go to him.
Ray: What?
Marie: Take him out. Spend an evening with him. Make him feel better. Your father and I are out of material.
Frank: [enters] ls he going to do it?
Ray: I'm not going over there, all right? I wouldn't know what to say.
Frank: I don't care what you say. Just get him out of the house. It's depressing.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Ray, you've got to go over there.
Ray: I don't want to talk to him.
Debra: Don't talk to him then. Take him to the movies. You don't have to talk at the movies.
Ray: That's true, you don't have to talk. We should go to movies more.

Quote from Ray

Ray: I was going to go out, too.
Robert: Where are you going?
Ray: Nowhere. I don't know. Movies, something, you know.
Robert: Movie, huh?
Ray: Yeah, why? Did you want to...
Robert: No, no.
Ray: You sure? Because I was thinking.
Robert: What? You want me to go?
Ray: If you don't sit in front of me.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Although, the shooting...
Robert: Yeah.
Ray: I tell you, my favorite part was when the guy hits the pimp with the manhole cover.
Robert: No, I saw that coming. You know the part that I thought was great? When that little guy came in the room shooting like this. [imitates gunfire] What's that?
Ray: I love that.
Robert: You're sacrificing accuracy.
Ray: Anybody can shoot like this. [imitates gunfire] That's boring. You've seen that in a hundred movies. But this way. Let's say this table here is full of drugs, all right? Bad guys on each side, they're splitting up the money. You come in, boom! Hey, mother-

Quote from Robert

Robert: You remember that Assistant Principal, Mrs. McAffree? The woman with the wooden leg?
Ray: Yeah. I used to try to sneak a look at her legs to figure out which one it was.
Robert: It was the left one.
Ray: Yeah? How can you tell?
Robert: No hair on it.
Ray: Oh, I remember Mike Kimmelman. He snuck into her office. He left her an apple and a can of lemon Pledge.
Robert: Crazy Kimmelman.
Ray: Ah, Kimmelman.

Quote from Robert

Robert: Well, it's getting kind of late. I've got a day shift tomorrow. Listen, this was, um... You know, 'cause... I was feeling... And you.
Ray: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, I'll see you.
Robert: Yeah.
Ray: Hey, tonight was good.
Robert: It was good. Thanks for asking me.
Ray: I'm glad Mom and Dad thought of it.
Robert: What?
Ray: Huh?
Robert: You mean, this was their idea?
Ray: Yeah, but it was a good one.
Robert: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. You asked me to go with you tonight because they told you to?
Ray: No, no, no. Not told. They told me you were alone. That's all.
Robert: Thanks a lot, Raymond. Thanks for the charity.

Quote from Frank

Marie: Frank, the boys are back.
Frank: Hey, wasn't it nice of Ray to come and get you and take you somewhere?
Robert: I know what you did. You put Ray up to it. Thanks a lot.
Frank: Well, you were just sitting around here like a lump. Jeez, you try to be sensitive to somebody.

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