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‘The Wedding: Part 1’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: The Wedding: Part 1

224. The Wedding: Part 1

Aired May 11, 1998

As they get dressed for a wedding, Ray and Debra think back to their engagement.

Quote from Debra

[flashback:]
Ray: Why don't we just sit? I'll sit over here. And we'll just... You know what we'll do? We'll eat some carrot sticks and we'll talk.
Debra: Ray, I told you, I'm not having sex on your mom's plastic couch.
Ray: But I don't want- No, I don't want sex, all right? I want a carrot, that's all.
Debra: Okay, we'll go to your room. Come on.

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Quote from Frank

[flashback:]
Ray: Dad, please, give it to me.
Frank: "As a boy, sports was the only way I could connect with my father. The first game he took me to was at Yankee Stadium when I was eight. Bobby Murcer homered in the ninth to win it. I thought nothing could be more thrilling. Then on the ride home, my father talked to me. He listened. He shared his passion for sports with me. I love sports for many reasons now, but I have to say that what drew me to the games as a young boy was the ride home." What, are you saying I didn't talk to you? What is this? ls that what you're saying?
Ray: All right, Dad. That's not what I'm saying. Now, please, don't read any more.

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Ray: What if she wanted to say no?
Robert: What do you mean?
Ray: She was in front of the whole family. She had to say yes.
Robert: Come on.
Ray: Plus, I put it in the paper. Oh, no, why did I do that? She couldn't say no. Oh, my God. I am a jackass.
Robert: I think you're supposed to put the accent on the "jack."
Ray: Oh, God, what did I do? I'm like one of those losers at the ball game that rents a blimp. "Oh, marry me, Hilda." Yeah. Hilda can't say no. They'll throw beer on her.

Quote from Debra

[flashback:]
Debra: Come here. I gotta show you all my plans here.
Ray: Plans? What do you mean?
Debra: Yeah, for the wedding.
Ray: You're already planning the wedding?
Debra: I've been planning it since I was 12.
Ray: Well, you didn't meet me till you were 22.
Debra: Well, you're the last piece of the puzzle.
Ray: Yeah. You're sure that I fit? You're not like cramming me in there, right?

Quote from Lois

[flashback:]
Lois: I've never been a sports fan, but now... Go sports!
Ray: Okay.

Quote from Debra

Ray: What? What?
Debra: Well, here's your problem, you've got no rear end.
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: God, I married Gumby.
Ray: Yeah. Well, that's okay, though because as a couple, we average at normal... [screams] size!

Quote from Ray

Debra: And by the way, the collar goes over the bow tie.
Ray: It does?
Debra: Yes, and the cuff links face out. God. This is like dressing a chimp. How did you ever get ready for our wedding?
Ray: Mommy.
Debra: Oh, that's right. I had blocked out the fact that you were 30 and still living at home.
Ray: Twenty-nine.
Debra: Yeah, whatever.

Quote from Ray

Ray: By the way, I'm not dancing at this thing, okay? So don't even ask.
Debra: Come on! I want to dance with you!
Ray: No. When I dance, people think I'm looking for my keys.
Debra: Yes, but if you dance with me, then you can look for my keys.

Quote from Ray

Debra: You are so unromantic!
Ray: Well, you know I don't like dancing.
Debra: You know I do like dancing.
Ray: Then why did you marry me? [Debra is silent] Well?
Debra: I'm thinking.

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Andy: Hey, what's the story on the Jell-O?
Ray: It's to go. You've got to take it out.
Andy: We just got here.
Ray: Come on, I'm asking her to marry me.
Kevin: Tonight?
Ray: Yeah. Yes, I just got the job so I'm asking her.
Andy: You're asking Debra to marry you tonight?
Ray: Yes.
Kevin: What's she gonna say?
Ray: She's gonna say, "Why are Kevin and Andy here?" Come on, guys, you gotta go.

Quote from Debra

[flashback:]
Debra: Here, that's for you.
Ray: Well, no, wait. I told you to get one of your romantic, mushy movies you always like to see.
Debra: Yeah, but you love this one. We'll see mine next week.
Ray: It's Planet of the Apes.
Debra: Yeah, but didn't you say that was a classic? Monkeys riding horses.

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Ray: Sit down. Something happened. I want to show you something. This is the early edition of tomorrow's Newsday and I wanted to show you something before anybody else knows about it.
Debra: What happened? Did you do something illegal?
Ray: No, no, no, no. There's this great column. I want you to read it. It's from this new guy. Here it is. He's a great writer even though he is a little weird-looking. Look at his picture. [Debra gasps] Yeah, he's weird-looking.

Quote from Frank

[flashback:]
Frank: [enters] Whoops! "Sorry." You guys finishing up or just starting?
Ray: Dad! Come on, what are you doing back here?
Frank: Relax, Romeo, I forgot my driving glasses. I would have kept going, but your mother thinks I hit a deer.

Quote from Frank

[flashback:]
Debra: Look, Frank. Look.
Frank: Wait, what is it? Hey, it's you.
Debra: Yeah, it's his column. He's a columnist.
Frank: Holy crap. A columnist? But Newsday is like a real paper.
Ray: Yeah, well, I guess I slipped through the cracks.
Frank: Wait, I wanna read this. It's not every day a son of mine amounts to something.
Ray: Dad, please, come on, Mom's waiting for you in the car now.
Frank: She's fine. I cracked the window.

Quote from Ray

[flashback:]
Ray: Dad, will you please give me the newspaper?
Frank: I didn't connect with you?
Ray: Dad, you're not- Give it to me, Dad.
Frank: I'm not trying to connect with you. Get away from me.
Ray: You're not supposed to read it.
Frank: What are you afraid of? I'm finishing this! "I'm hoping sports will bring me closer to someone else in my life. The person who will be sitting next to me reading this. 'Debra, will you marry me?'"
Ray: For that last part, he was supposed to be down on one knee.

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