Robert: She liked you.
Ray: Yeah, how 'bout that?
Robert: Unbelievable. A couple of hours without the ring, you're already getting offers. It really, truly never ends for you, does it?

Robert: Thanks for bringing me on your road trip, Raymond. Sure glad I brought these binoculars. I can see every drop of rain hitting the Piggly-Wiggly. Well once again, God, thanks for everything.
Ray: Aah, that'll clear up.
Robert: And when will that be, Raymond? All that's left is for the animals to line up two by two.

Frank: Hey! I'm watching Sportscenter over here.
Ray: Dad!
Frank: Marie's doing her French lesson crap! I'd stop her, but maybe someday she'll learn enough to move there.
Debra: Not now, Frank, okay?
Frank: Oh, sorry. You two goin' a couple of rounds?
Ray: Dad, please, just-
Frank: Don't be too hard on him, Deb. Robert told me he did the right thing. He shot her down real quick. Boy, women out there must be getting desperate if they start goin' after big nose.

Ray: I went to the bathroom and Robert, without even asking me, he takes my ring, he spins it right into the vent!
Debra: The vent?!
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: Did you try to get it out?
Ray: Of course, yeah! We used Milky Ways, everything. But the maintenance guy at the hotel he said he was gonna look, and I'm sure he'll come through. He looked like a very dependable guy.
Debra: I don't understand. How did Robert get your wedding ring in the first place?
Ray: I told you. I went to the bathroom.
Debra: And you take your wedding ring off when you go to the bathroom?
Ray: In a hotel bathroom, huh? In a strange city? This is our wedding ring! You bet your ass I do!

Frank: How come they get their rings to come off so easy? You did this to me with your cooking. You fattened me up so I couldn't get out.

Debra: I can never tell. How do you know if a mango is ripe or not?
Jimmy: I don't know. Squeeze 'em or something.
Debra: So, gosh. Is this one ripe?
Jimmy: To tell you the truth, I really don't eat fruit.
Debra: You know, you guys have a great selection of lettuce. I've always thought that.
Jimmy: Yup, a lot of lettuce.
Debra: So what are you, uh... I mean, have you always been a produce man, Jimmy?
Jimmy: I'm just doing this till they allow me back at the deli counter.
Debra: Ah! I love how it smells around here.
Jimmy: You know what, I gotta go spritz the parsley, all right?
Debra: Oh, great.
Jimmy: It's at the loading dock.
Debra: Oh, the loading dock?
Jimmy: You can't come back here.
Debra: I'm really interested-
Jimmy: Lady! Please, leave me alone!
Debra: Nice talkin' to you, Jimmy.

Ray: Oh, man! Almost!
Robert: Will you stop spinning your ring already?
Ray: This table's got some kind of super-slick surface. This could be the day I break the record.
Robert: Yippee!
Ray: Quiet!
Robert: Can't we at least go bowling or something?
Ray: No, no, I'm having a good time here.
Robert: You're twirling jewelry.
Ray: You don't realize what you got here, okay? You don't have a wife and kids always around. You're alone.
Robert: Thank you.

Robert: Look, why don't you watch the stuff, and I'll go get some pizza. You want a slice?
Ray: Yeah. What are they, a buck? Why don't you buy me 500 and we'll be even.
Robert: Ray, I'm sure the maintenance guy is gonna find your ring, all right?
Ray: Yeah, did you see that guy? He finds my ring, two seconds later, he's gonna trade it in for a bottle of whiskey and a harmonica.

Ray: Aw, come on. It's just you know, it's this haircut. It makes me look Latin.

Ray: Cheer up, will ya? Get something from the minibar.
Robert: Oh, minibar ooh, whoopee. How much is a soda?
Ray: Who cares? The paper's paying for it.
[Robert raids the minibar]
Robert: I feel a little better.