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‘Win, Lose or Draw’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Win, Lose or Draw

109. Win, Lose or Draw

Aired November 8, 1996

After Ray loses $2,300 to Frank in a poker game, he doesn't want to go begging to his father for his money back.

Quote from Debra

Debra: You know, I thought we were saving to buy a bigger house so we could move away from... this neighborhood.

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Quote from Frank

Frank: Quit pushing.
Marie: Frank, do it.
Frank: I'm not giving Ray's check back. I won it fair and square.
Marie: If you don't give Ray his money, you're not the man I married.
Frank: I win again.

Quote from Frank

Ray: I can't take the money back, Ma.
Debra: Yes, you can.
Marie: Frank, please.
Frank: Forget it, I want to teach him a lesson. Don't get in over your head. Play with fire, you're going to get burned. And most importantly: thank you, come again.

Quote from Marie

Marie: I can't believe what I'm hearing. You would actually deprive your own flesh and blood of money? He needs to feed his family.
Ray: We're okay, Ma.
Marie: Look how they live over here, Frank. The want.

Quote from Ray

Debra: I can't believe you lost all that money.
Ray: Look, it's my dad's fault. He kept telling me to fold, like I was a little kid.
Debra: So you showed him by losing all your money to him?
Ray: That's right. I'm my own man.
Debra: Ray, you know, in case you haven't noticed, we have three kids to put through college.
Ray: Well, maybe we'll get lucky and they won't be college material.

Quote from Debra

Ray: Anything for breakfast?
Debra: How about pancakes?
Ray: Oh, great.
Debra: [hands Ray a list] Need eggs, butter, milk, syrup, and pancakes. While you're out, could you go to the bank, a hardware store, and the dry cleaners?
Ray: I'll just have cereal. Well, what do you do all day while I'm at work?
Debra: I entertain men, Ray.

Quote from Ray

Frank: Great news, Ray. You're in.
Ray: What am I in, and does it wash off?
Frank: Ray, every man has certain moments in life that define who he is in the great circle of... life. Tonight, you and I are having such a moment.
Ray: I'm not getting naked and letting you hold me up to the moon, Dad. Not again.
Frank: Poker with me and the boys.

Quote from Frank

Frank: Attaboy. Better than Vegas. Food, fun, fast action. Hey, the new guy brings the MaaIox.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Did you lose more than $50?
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: You didn't lose $100, did you?
Ray: No. ... Hundreds.
Debra: How many hundreds?
Ray: [mumbles with toothbrush in his mouth]
Debra: What?
Ray: [repeats]
Debra: What?!
Ray: [gibberish without toothbrush]
Debra: Ray, how many hundreds?
Ray: Twenty-three. To my dad.
Debra: You lost $2,300 to your father? Relax, we're going to get the money back.
Debra: How?
Ray: When he dies.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Look, you think I wanted to lose that much money? I know it was wrong but you got to know I had a very good reason.
Debra: You had a very good reason?
Ray: It's like when your father tells you not to put cocoa puffs up your nose.
Debra: Oh, not the cocoa puff story again.
Ray: What's the first thing you want to do? Put cocoa puffs up your nose.
Debra: So now you're cuckoo.

Quote from Robert

Robert: What's going on over here?
Frank: Nothing. What are you doing here?
Robert: I'm a policeman. I come home at 3:00 a.m. No Mom, no Dad, no sandwich. I start to worry.

Quote from Marie

Marie: Hello, sweetheart.
Ally: Hi, Grandma.
Marie: What are you doing?
Ally: We're frosting cupcakes.
Marie: How nice. Frosting from a can. So much easier than homemade.

Quote from Marie

Marie: This is for you.
Debra: [gasps] But I thought Frank-
Marie: No, he doesn't know anything about that. This is my money.
Debra: You have money?
Marie: Oh. My father, oh, such a wise man. On my wedding day, he took me aside, gave me $200 and said: "Here, this is if you ever come to your senses and leave Frank."
Debra: Wow. My dad only gave me $50.
Marie: So, for 45 years now, I've been adding to it little by little. I mean, who knows how long my marriage will last, right? Money is freedom.
Debra: So how free are you?
Marie: $46,000.
Debra: What?
Marie: Yep. It's our secret now.

Quote from Marie

Ray: Hi.
Debra: Hi.
Ray: Hi, Ma.
Marie: Hi, dear.
Ray: How you doing?
Marie & Debra: [in unison] Fine.
Ray: Okay, Debra, give Mom the money back.
Marie: How did you know?
Ray: Well, Ma, look at you two. When was the last time you two were smiling together? Exactly. Now give it back to her.
Marie: Ray, please.
Ray: No, get out of here. Go. Don't make me turn the hose on you. Thanks.
Marie: You're welcome, you stubborn ass.

Quote from Frank

Frank: You're not talking to me?
Marie: No.
Frank: I just keep winning.

Quote from Ray

Marie: Oh, hi, Ray.
Ray: Look what I found in Ally's piggy bank. $2,300.
Marie: Oh, isn't she thrifty?
Ray: Yeah. Come on, Ma. I'll tell you, it wasn't easy trying to wrestle it out of her hands.

Quote from Robert

Robert: All right, you guys. Sit down. Right now, the both of you. Let's go. Right here. You guys want a cup of coffee?
Ray: Okay.
Robert: Well, we'll just see how it goes. Now let's get one thing straight, okay? The both of you broke the law. The law that I've sworn to uphold. The only thing that could alter that fact is if no money changed hands on the night in question at one Nemo's Pizzeria and Homemade Specialties.
Ray: This is between me and Dad, Robert.
Frank: That's right. We're perfectly fine.
Robert: Everything's perfectly fine, huh? You don't think I know that you're the tip of the iceberg? You're going down, Pops. And when you do, you're going to bring down Eddie, and Stan, and that divorced Garvin.
Ray: Robert, you're not going to do anything.
Robert: Oh, I'm not going to do anything, huh? You want to try me? Come on! [sits down] Listen, kid I understand what you're going through. It's not your fault 'cause you got mixed up with a bad element.
Ray: What are you doing?
Robert: Well, good cop, bad cop. It's just taking me a little longer 'cause there's only one of me.

Quote from Frank

Ray: Enough already. I'm leaving. For the last time, I'm not taking the money. I lost it, that's all. I'm a big boy. If I take the money, what kind of message does that send to my kids? That no matter what happens you can just go to your father and he'll make everything okay?
Frank: You're right. You're right.
Ray: What? What? What am I right about?
Frank: You should be able to go to your father and he should be able to make it okay. Here. Be a good father, big head.
Ray: Dad. Thanks. Thanks, Dad.
Frank: [to Robert] What's the matter with you?
Robert: I'm just glad it all worked out. I didn't want to have to cuff you guys.
Frank: I'm glad, too. And it might have worked out very well. [goes to grab Marie's money from the table]
Marie: [enters] Hey, that's still my money.

Quote from Ray

Debra: I think I hear Daddy. Daddy's coming. Hey.
Ray: Hey.
Debra: Thanks.
Ray: Listen next time it's Dad's night to cook, you pick it up.
Debra: What took you so Iong?
Ray: Oh, the fast food empIoyees. Last week, when I was in MontreaI, the empIoyees there are bilingual. Over here, they're not even lingual.
Debra: Well, maybe your order was confusing.
Ray: couIdn't make it any simpIer. I said to the guy: "I'd like a hamburger, pIease." And he stares at me. "A hamburger. Here, Iet me draw it for you. Hamburger." No, not for here. To go. "To go. Here, I'll put little feet on my hamburger. See?"
Debra: Where's the fries?
Ray: Oh, I can't draw fries.

Quote from Ray

Ray: No, Dad, please. Why don't you ask Robert?
Frank: Your brother's a cop. He's very sensitive about this gambling thing. What if he turns us in?
Ray: You'd like jail. They have crafts.

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