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‘Older Women’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Older Women

609. Older Women

Aired November 19, 2001

Debra is upset that her father, Warren (Robert Culp), is bringing a female friend to Thanksgiving dinner, but Lois (Katherine Helmond) insists she's fine with it.

Quote from Frank

Frank: This is dumb. You still need reassurance after 45 years of bondage? All right, I'm gonna tell you something now I've never told anyone else before. I could have had my chance with Claudia.
Ray: What?
Frank: That's right. There was one day I was dropping off your old highchair, and there was no one at your apartment except her. And she let me in, and she asked me if I wanted something to drink, and I said, "Yeah." I was thirsty from luggin' the freakin' highchair up your damn steps. She poured me some iced tea, and when she stuck her hand out to give it to me, and I went for it, she pulled it back a little, you know, like playfully?
Marie: That whore.
Frank: And you know what? Even though she was not what you would call classically beautiful, I could see what Ray saw in her.
Ray: Dad!
Frank: No, no, she had something. There was always a little rumba in the horn section.
Ray: I never looked at her horn section. I swear to God.
Frank: And I said, "Just give me the tea," like that, and she gave me the tea. And I drank it, and I handed her the glass back, and she washed it, and I left. And that was it, because I have a wife named Marie.
Marie: Oh, Frank.
Frank: There you go.
Debra: Wait a minute. You watched her wash the glass?
Frank: Well, yeah. I'm not a monk.

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Quote from Lois

Debra: You know, Mom, I just don't think that you-
Ray: Deb, Deb, Deb, I think if your mom's okay with it, isn't that what's important?
Lois: Honey, you know I still care for your father very much, and if this girl is what he needs to feel better about himself, to feel younger, I say good for him. Okay?
Debra: I guess, yeah.
Lois: Okay. Good, good. And who knows? Soon I just may be out there looking for an eligible younger man myself. [laughs]
[camera pans to Robert who awkwardly chuckles]

Quote from Frank

Frank: I'm trying to picture myself with a woman who's older. She'd have to be like a mummy or something.
Marie: [enters] Frank!
Frank: I was kidding!

Quote from Warren

Debra: Robert, Dad, could you excuse us, please?
Ray: Everybody can stay. Can't they just stay? Where's your mother?
Debra: She needed some time alone, Ray.
Robert: Hey, Warren, you wanna go down to Marco's for a slice?
Warren: They have other things there?
Robert: Full bar.
Warren: You drive.
Robert: What if Emma wakes up?
Warren: Oh, she just went down. She's good for three hours.

Quote from Ray

Debra: She's not okay. She had to act that way because your whole family was there staring at her. What was she supposed to do? My parents were together for 41 years, and now my father has to go find some little chippy who makes him feel like he's still got it. Trust me, this is painful for her.
Ray: I guess, but I gotta tell ya. Sounds to me like maybe... Maybe you're not so okay with it.
Debra: Oh, you pickin' up on that, Einstein?
Ray: I wish I was Einstein, 'cause then I'd invent a time machine and go back to when you were nice.

Quote from Ray

Debra: You've never paid any attention to my mother before. You don't have to start now.
Ray: What are you talkin' about? I pay attention to your mom.
Debra: You don't even call her anything. You just grunt at her. "How are you today, Raymond?" "Uhh." [knock on the door] Yeah, come in.
Lois: Good night, you two.
Debra: Okay, good night, Mom.
Ray: Yes, pleasant dreams and have a happy tomorrow, milady.

Quote from Frank

Frank: May I ask one question?
Warren: Of course, Frank.
Frank: What the hell are you doing?
Ray: Dad!
Robert: Dad.
Frank: No, I mean- I mean, she seems nice and all, but jeezaloo! You got a golden opportunity here. You're still handsome, nice tan. You got all your teeth and then some. What gives?

Quote from Ray

Ray: Dad, stop. I mean, right? Jeez.
Robert: Actually, what is the thought process here?
Warren: Okay, yeah, Emma is a little bit older than me, but I gotta tell you, guys, it's not all about looks and sex for me.
Ray: Okay, but is any of it?

Quote from Frank

Debra: Mom, this is not right.Her coming over here with Dad, sitting across the table from you it's just... It's got to be too weird for you.
Lois: No, Debra, it won't be. We talked about it, and, really, I'm fine.
Marie: I don't like this at all.
Ray: All right, come on, Ma.
Debra: No. Marie, what do you think?
Marie: Well, bringing some girl, some floozy to dinner with his ex-wife it's uncouth.
Lois: Oh, I don't think she's a floozy, Marie.
Frank: Then why date her?

Quote from Ray

Lois: Ray, I've put almonds with the green beans. I remember you liked them that way.
Ray: Oh, yeah. Thanks. You have nice hair.
Lois: Thank you.
Ray: Thank you for not wearing a hat.

Quote from Robert

Robert: So, Ray, you gonna let Warren and his girlfriend sleep in the same bed, huh?
Ray: All right.
Frank: Hey, what if those two get married? Oh, and have a kid?
Robert: Ah, that'd be awkward. Let's see. Debra already has a sister. Maybe a brother this time, huh? You can burp and change your own brother-in-law.

Quote from Robert

Lois: Welcome. We've been expecting you.
Frank: Well, not you, exactly.
Warren: This is Lois, the woman I've told you so much about.
Emma: I'm so happy to finally meet you.
Warren: And Ray.
Ray: Hi.
Warren: And Robert.
Robert: [loudly] Hello! How are you?

Quote from Frank

Warren: So, Deb, where are my grandkids?
Debra: Oh, well, Ally's with a friend right now, and the twins are taking a nap. We let them stay up late with Grandma last night.
Emma: Oh, you know, actually, after our drive, I'm a bit tuckered out myself.
Warren: Do you want to lie down? Would that be all right?
Debra: Uh, sure, sure. I'll take you up.
Warren: I can do it, Deb. Uh, Ally's room okay?
Debra: Yep, great.
Emma: Thank you for inviting me to your home. I'm so happy to be spending Thanksgiving with you all.
Debra: Well, sure. The more the merrier.
[Everyone watches as Warren and Emma walk slowly up the stairs, step by step. When they've finally gone, Frank looks at his watch.]
Frank: Happy New Year!

Quote from Ray

Lois: I like her. She seems very pleasant.
Debra: Oh, very pleasant. Yeah, she's great.
Ray: Yeah, yeah, it's good 'cause we all thought Warren was gonna go for someone younger, but it turns out he's just going for someone different. Oh, I-I misspoke. I it's the opposite of what I said. I do that. I do that a lot. Last week I said, "I'm dinner. What's for hungry?" Yeah. And then I then I asked her if the cleaners were back from my pants.
Robert: It's like watching a car accident.
Lois: I think I'm going to go for a walk. If you could just tell Warren, and I'll be back in a little while.
Debra: Uh, I'll go with you, Mom.
Marie: I'll come, too.
Ray: All right, okay. You guys have a good time. We'll just be here Okay.
Frank: Kill is going to Debra you.

Quote from Warren

Warren: Emma is warm and funny and charming. I simply adore her company, and, uh... Can I tell you something about dating an older woman?
Ray: That's okay. It's okay.
Warren: She appreciates me. When I'm with her, I'm the young buck. I feel more hip and energetic now than any time in my marriage.
Robert: Interesting.

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