Marie: Listen, it's none of my business, but I think maybe this might be Debra's way of trying to compensate.
Robert: How so, Ma?
Marie: Well, if you can't cook in the kitchen...

Frank: So what are you so upset about? Sounds like Mr. Muscle here is saving you some prep work.
Marie: I don't like that, Frank. And I have to say, Raymond, I think that Debra is playing a very dangerous game.
Frank: Oh, what are you talking about? Who cares where she gets her appetite as long as she has her meal at home?
Ray: Stop, stop!
Marie: Raymond. Raymond, you have to get Debra out of this class right now.
Frank: Why? This guy is helping out! Maybe Ray doesn't have what it takes to get Debra's motor running.
Marie: Raymond's got plenty!
Ray: Thank you! Mom! Huh! [exits]

Andy: All right. So you had a busy morning. Did you remember how to do everything or did you have to consult the manual? [laughs]
Ray: Hey! You wanna know something? You're not gonna believe this. Third time this week. That's a Barone record.
Andy: Three times? Get outta here.
Gianni: No way.
Ray: Three times. Tuesday, Thursday, today.
Gianni: I think you're confusing sex with showering.

Ray: Listen, that's Debra's aerobics instructor. Okay, she took his class three times last week.
Robert: Uh-huh.
Ray: Yeah, three times. Three times she watched this guy muscle around and gyrate it up. Okay, and guess what days?
Robert: Oh! So all this time you're thinking it's you making her hot, turns out she's coming home preheated. [laughs]
Ray: It's not funny, Robert.
Robert: No, it is a little funny. See, only you would think a rib injury would turn you into a love machine. [sings] And it don't work for nobody but you. [grunts]

Ray: You know I'm right, right? How would you like it if I did that to you?
Debra: Oh, please! What about every year when that stupid swimsuit issue arrives? I know I'm not gonna be getting much sleep that night. Why is that, Ray?
Ray: That's not true. That's not true. Don't try to make that like this.
Debra: What about the naked channel that you're always trying to check to see if they forgot to scramble it?
Ray: That's I'm not checking it! It's on the way to the Travel Channel.
Debra: Who's the one in the bedroom with all the little character suggestions, huh? "I'm the stock-boy and you can't reach the sauce." Or "Ooh, come to bed with a limp."

Ray: Oh, listen, Parkers said that the party's gonna be over at 2:00, so you can pick up the kids anytime after that.
Debra: Okay.
Ray: All right, I'll see you later. [Debra kisses Ray] What was that?
Debra: Nothing, you said goodbye, so you know, goodbye.
Ray: Oh, wha- What are you doing?
Debra: Bye.
Ray: Goodbye. I'm going golfing.
Debra: Yeah, I know. [removes coat]
Ray: Oh, it's not fair! [Debra looks at Ray] You know I love golfing. I don't get to golf very often.
Debra: All right.
Ray: Oh, don't make me choose. [looks at the golf clubs and back at Debra] It's not fair! It's probably gonna rain.
Debra: Yeah.

Ray: Whoa whoa, how come you're not golfing?
Gianni: We waited for your big nose for an hour. Then we couldn't play because the tournament was starting.
Robert: Nice work, big nose!

Ray: Oh, man. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just had to do something at the house, you know? I just had to I had to do that something.
Andy: We kept calling. Why didn't you pick up the phone?
Ray: Yeah, I know, but I couldn't hear it 'cause I was fixing the dryer. The- The- That damn- The basin of it, it's all out of its hoop.
Gianni: What, are you trying to lie or something?
Ray: All right, guys, listen, I'm sorry. I couldn't make it this morning, because Debra and I, we just, you know, we couldn't get out of bed.

Ray: No, but listen! I didn't want to. I was ready to go. I was ready to go. We were there, we were in the kitchen-
Robert: All right, Ray, look, we don't need to hear the details.
Andy: I bought new balls and shoes. He owes me details.
Gianni: Listen, junior high, shut up with the details. It's his wife. And Ray, sex over golf? It's your wife!

Suzy: Here's the pie, Ray. You guys gonna order, or you just gonna color the placemats?
Ray: No, no, no. Don't order anything, guys. Look, let me make it up to you, huh? Let's have my pizza, huh? My family's pizza I give to you. Free! Come on, free pizza.
Robert: We're gonna need drinks.
Ray: Yeah. Yeah yeah, Suzy, small sodas for everybody. Come on, guys. Dig in.