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‘The Home’ Quotes

Everybody Loves Raymond: The Home

901. The Home

Aired September 20, 2004

Frank and Marie announce that they are moving to a retirement community.

Quote from Frank

Marie: Come on, I want you to sit down. We want to have a talk with all of you.
Robert: Last time we had a sitdown talk, you told us you were giving our dog away.
Frank: "Boo-hoo-hoo. You gave my doggie away!"
Marie: Robert, now stop it this instant. Okay. So we had a wonderful time.
Frank: No dogs there.
Marie: Frank! And the condo was just beautiful. And the food was especially good.
Frank: Yeah, I had a steak so big I almost couldn't finish it. And then I did.

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Quote from Marie

Marie: No, what this weekend made me realize is that Ally is old enough to babysit. And Robert, I finally got you married off. And Debra, I've taught you all I can.

Quote from Frank

Marie: But at the community - that's what they call it - there are so many other women there just like me.
Frank: I know that sounds chilling, but it wasn't so bad.

Quote from Frank

Ray: What do you mean, move there?
Marie: We're just thinking about it.
Frank: I want to live there.
Robert: What do you mean, live there?
Amy: Marie, this place is so great, you'd really consider moving all the way to New Jersey?
Marie: We're just thinking about it. But I have to say, everyone there seemed so active, 'cause usually when you think about a retirement community, it's depressing.
Frank: Yes, I generally don't care for the elderly.

Quote from Frank

Marie: But their days are so full. They've got golf and a health spa and theme nights. Meanwhile, Frank and I, we had a good time. I haven't had that much fun with your father in a long time. We laughed and we took walks and we held hands.
Ray: Dad?
Frank: They got cheap booze there.

Quote from Frank

Marie: And Claudia took us to the rehearsal space for the drama club and she started to go on and on about what a lovely singing voice I had in church choir. It was embarrassing. And then she said that she thought I would be perfect perfect to play the lead in the fall production of "The Unsinkable Molly Brown."
Frank: Might have to change the title.

Quote from Amy

Robert: How great is it that my parents are moving into a furnished place?
Amy: You know what else is great? A yard sale.

Quote from Marie

Marie: Oh, Robbie, Robbie. Oh, you're such a good boy. I know the house will be in fine hands with you two living in it.
Robert: Thanks, Ma. And I just wanna say-
Marie: Raymond! [sobs and hugs Ray]
Ray: It's okay. It's okay.
Frank: Yeah, Marie, let's get to the retirement village while we're still young.
Marie: All right. All right. Goodbye. I'll miss you all. And there's some nice fruit in the refrigerator. We always have too much fruit in this house. We'll call you when we get there.

Quote from Marie

Robert: So where were you all weekend?
Marie: Well, you remember our dear old friends, the Santorellis? She wore all that makeup and he had that bad toupee.
Ray: Yes, your dear friends.

Quote from Robert

Robert: So you want to move away? But wouldn't you miss... Raymond?

Quote from Ray

Debra: Wow.
Ray: Yeah. Wow.
Debra: Wow!
Ray: Wowie wowie wowie wowie wow!
Ray: 85 minutes! 85 minutes!
Debra: I know. 85 minutes. It's my new favorite number.
Ray: Wait, it could even be more if you count traffic.
Debra: Traffic? We have never had traffic between us. Traffic! Ooh.
Ray: Although it would be weird. I mean, they've always been right across the street. I can't imagine them not being there. Actually, I can.
Debra: Me too.
Ray: Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it.

Quote from Marie

Robert: Wait a minute. You're actually thinking about giving up a house that you've lived in for almost 50 years? You're sure you don't want to try to just, you know, finish things up here?
Marie: Actually, we... We discussed what to do with the house too. Didn't we, Frank?
Frank: Yep.
Marie: If we do move, Robert, we want you and Amy to take the house.
Robert: What?
Frank: Hey, take it easy. We wouldn't just give it away. We'd sell it to you.
Marie: We'd sell it for the price that we paid... $26,000.

Quote from Ray

Amy: Wait till you hear the best part.
Robert: We get the house.
Debra: What?
Amy: Our own house!
Ray: You get the house?
Robert: We get the house. $26,000.
Ray: Wh- Wh- Why do you get that?
Debra: What do you care, Ray?
Ray: $26,000.
Debra: 85 minutes.
Ray: Yeah, you're right!

Quote from Frank

Marie: The kids seem pretty shaken up.
Frank: Yeah.
Marie: I feel bad.
Frank: How are we gonna break it to them that we already signed the lease?
Marie: I don't want it to feel like we're running out on them. I mean, they should tell us to go. It should come from them.
Frank: How are you gonna get them to do that?
Marie: Well, just let me do the talking.
Frank: That should make them want us to go.
Marie: Oh, you. It's exciting, isn't it, Chi-Chi?

Quote from Marie

Marie: It's it's not easy to think about.
Ray: You got that right.
Debra: Mmm.
Robert: It is a painful time.
Marie: We really enjoyed this weekend, more than we have in a long time. Maybe it's not the right time to make such a big change.
Ray: You know, Mom there's nothing wrong with you doing something for yourself once in a while.
Debra: Yes, you are always thinking of everyone else.
Robert: You give, give, and then you give some more.
Amy: Yes, and you too, Frank.
Marie: It has always been about others.
Frank: So what do you think, Marie?
Marie: Okay, let's do it.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Hey.
Robert: Aw, look, honey, our neighbors have stopped by.
Ray: Howdy, neighbor.
Robert: Howdy, neighbor.

Quote from Robert

Debra: Wow, look at this place.
Amy: Yeah. You okay?
Debra: Yeah, I guess it's it's it's all just hitting me. It's really happening, huh?
Robert: Oh, yeah. No kidding it's happening. I got some party hats and noisemakers. See that? Got the champagne in the fridge. [to Ray] Buh-buh-buh my chair!
Ray: What's with you?
Debra: I just haven't been over here since they packed. Weird, isn't it?
Ray: Yeah. Closing day at the mental institution.
Robert: Yep. Final clearance all crazies must go.

Quote from Debra

Debra: It's just that now that it's actually happening, I feel...
Ray: Like ruining everything?
Debra: Sad. I'm gonna miss them. They're my family.
Amy: Oh, well, of course. We all feel that.
Robert: Yeah, sure.
Ray: No, of course. They're like family.
Debra: It's... You know, I mean, I've spent more time with them than anyone over the last 10 years. Ray, you go to work every day, and you guys see them a couple times a week. I've been with them every day morning, noon, and night.
Robert: That's why you should be dancing around naked in a fountain.
Debra: I know, I know. It's just... It's just all happening so quick, you know? It's like, boom! "See ya, bye." Oh, gosh.
Ugh, I don't know. I'm always looking for the worst in Marie, and I just shouldn't.

Quote from Robert

Amy: Deb, I see what you're saying.
Robert: No, you don't. It's one thing to be sad, okay? I'm all for sad... after they're gone and after the party.
All right? I'm sorry, Debra, but my mom is in a very emotional state right now, and your sudden insanity just might make her stay. I bought this house fair and square. $26,000 for a house!

Quote from Debra

Debra: I'm just having feelings.
Ray: Well, we all have those, but there's a time to express them and a time to just keep that crap inside.
Debra: Look, it's just I always thought that Marie and I would one day learn to, you know, get along. I cannot just let her leave and say nothing.
Ray: Get her.
Robert: Stay where you are.
Debra: Get out of my way, Robert.
Robert: All right.

Quote from Debra

Debra: Marie, I have some unresolved feelings.
Ray: Ow!
Debra: Okay. I know I should have said this years ago, but we kind of- No, we have butted heads a lot over the years and we've said some unfortunate things to each other and about each other, and I guess we've just decided that that's how it is. But I know that you and I are not okay with the way things are between us. You know, when you told me that you were moving, I was happy, because it meant I wouldn't have to deal with all the fighting and the tension. But I don't like feeling that way. I feel like we're just giving up, and I don't want to do that. I don't. I I think that there could be so much more for us. And I'm sorry that we haven't gotten there yet, but I think that we can.
Marie: Oh, Debra... Do you know what your problem is? You're always so dramatic. I'm fine with the way we are.
Debra: Have a great trip.
Marie: Aw thank you, dear.

Quote from Frank

Ray: Wait, wait. Uh... We should throw you, like, a going-away party, you know? Here, see? It's like a party.
Frank: Hey, you're coming out next weekend.
Amy: Ray's right. Wouldn't it be nice to mark the occasion?
Robert: Yeah, Dad, don't you want to say a real goodbye?
Frank: Aw, come on, we're not going to the cemetery, just Jersey.
[After they leave, Frank opens the door again and steps inside]
Marie: What is it, Frank?
Frank: Nothing. I'm trying to figure out if I should pee first. Aw, what the hell? I'll make it interesting.


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