Robert: Well, I did it. Around the block in 37 minutes.
Frank: He beat your record, Marie.
Marie: What am I rushing back to?

Debra: You are an egomaniac.
Ray: What?!
Debra: You think everything's about you. My crying had nothing to do with you. You wanna know why I was crying? 'Cause I was in the mood.
Ray: In the mood?
Debra: Yeah, that's right. I just felt like it. It's cathartic.
Ray: All right, we have to get a dictionary for in here.
Debra: You know that commercial where the little kid's making soup for his sister and how every time it comes on, I get all choked up?
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: Okay, I like that. Sometimes I just like to cry. It's like a release.
Ray: So you saw the soup commercial this afternoon?
Debra: No, I was just in the mood and I made myself cry.

Ray: How do you do that?
Debra: I just take my mascara off and sometimes I put on a sad song and I make a crying face and it just comes out.
Ray: What song?
Debra: The theme from "Ice Castles."
Ray: Really?
Debra: Yes. I was having a good cry, that's all it is. Haven't you ever heard of you know, somebody singing the blues?
Ray: So all of a sudden you're this old blues-singing guy with a mustache?
Debra: See, that's why I wanted alone time today, because obviously this isn't something I can explain to you.
Ray: Okay, so you cry because I'm stupid.
Debra: I eat ice cream because you're stupid.

Debra: You just don't walk in on somebody. You weren't even supposed to be here anymore.
Ray: You walk in on me all the time.
Debra: 'Cause you don't close the door.
Ray: That's 'cause I have nothing to hide.
Debra: Trust me, you do.
Debra: You know the bathroom was the last place I had any privacy and now that's gone.
Ray: I could build you a tree house.
Debra: I never get to be alone, never. You're with me, or the kids are with me and when the kids are gone, I'm still not alone, 'cause your parents walk in here all the time. I mean, you get to leave, you know? You go to work and you're alone in your car, in the office, and I just need some time to mys- What are you smiling about?
Ray: I'm just picturing you tying a young girl to the railroad tracks. Heh-heh-heh-heh.
Debra: I don't have a mustache!

Ray: Can the kids watch a video over here?
Marie: Oh, certainly. Why? Your VCR's not working?
Ray: No, no, it's working. I just thought we could come over and, you know, hang.
Marie: Oh, how wonderful! Go on, darlings. Go watch the video. Come on, go watch your videos. Frank, the kids are here. Buckle your pants.

Frank: What the hell is wrong with those kids? They're always sticky.
Marie: Debra wants time away from Raymond.
Ray: It's an afternoon, Ma, it's no big deal.
Marie: Oh, but it is. Raymond, dear, a marriage is about being together, about closeness.
[Ray scoffs and points to Frank]
Frank: She's right.
Ray: What?!
Frank: It is about closeness. About how much closeness you can take. About how close you can get to killing her before you kill yourself.

Ray: I don't get it.
Robert: She still crying?
Ray: No no, she's fine. That was spooky. What're you doing now?
Robert: Clenches.
Ray: Oh. Will you stop working your ass for a minute?
Robert: 98, 99, 100. Yeah. Let that bull try me now. I could open a jar of pickles with this thing.

Debra: Okay, Ray, okay. You know what? I want to just give you something to think about, okay? Just look at me.
Ray: What?
Debra: Look at me. Look at me! I just want you to feel some honest emotions and then let's see how you do with that, all right? Okay. The night Ally was born, remember that? It was this really long labor and you were so worried about it and then, and then she came and oh my God, she was just so beautiful. And the doctor handed her to you and he said, "Here is your daughter." [Ray laughs] You are a monster.
Ray: I'm not a monster. I'm just- Okay, then I cried, but you're trying to you're trying to manufacture this thing. And it- And you're making that face... It's just... It's funny.
Debra: That's fine. Fine, Ray. All right.
Ray: It's funny. I feel good though, I do. Maybe you should schedule time for laughing.

Ray: What? So I didn't cry. What's the big deal?
Debra: You know, just forget it, Ray. I mean I'm trying to get you to understand something, but I guess it doesn't matter.
Ray: All right, how about this? I got a great idea for tomorrow. Since you like to be alone and cry, and-and-and my mom likes to be with the kids, and I happen to like golf...
Debra: I have a better idea. Remember how you wanted to help me with the laundry earlier?
Ray: Uh-oh.
Debra: There's two more loads downstairs.
Ray: No, honey, listen.
Debra: Then you need to go to your folks', get the kids and take them shoe shopping.
Ray: Oh my God, what happened? No, come on, we were just talking here.
Debra: No, I like that. I like that you want to be a better husband.
Ray: Yeah, but I wanna do it gradually, come on. How about I'll let you cry and I won't even look in the window?
Debra: And keep using that mouthwash.
Ray: Oh come on, no. This- This this hasn't worked out well.
Debra: Oh, I think it's worked out very well. Heh-heh-heh-heh.

Debra: Ray, why did you walk in on me?
Ray: You have a mustache.
Debra: What's the matter with you? You don't even knock?
Ray: You have a mustache.
Debra: What are you you just barge in on me?
Ray: I forgot deodorant. You have a mustache.
Debra: It's not a mustache. It's a little peach fuzz.
Ray: Well, h-how-how long how long have you-
Debra: What? How long have I what, Ray?
Ray: Been sporting that?
Debra: For as long as you've known me and for as long as you've known me, I've bleached it and it's not a mustache.
Ray: Let me look at it.
Debra: Don't you stop! Don't examine me. You should be apologizing to me.
Ray: I'm sorry, nature can be cruel.