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‘Silent Partners’ Quotes

Everybody Loves Raymond: Silent Partners

515. Silent Partners

Aired February 12, 2001

Ray and Debra find they have nothing to say to each other when they go out for dinner on Valentine's Day.

Quote from Ray

Ray: That's really-
Debra: Really kind of sweet.
Ray: Sweet? What, that? They're not talking.
Debra: Well, it's like they don't have to.
Ray: I don't think it's 'cause they don't have to. I think it's 'cause they don't want to.
Debra: I don't know. They seemed so in tune.
[Ray and Debra return to the living room to observe Frank and Marie through the serving window. The pair are eating their sandwiches in silence, staring off in different directions]
Ray: I see cows.

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Quote from Ray

Ray: The butter spreads good, too.
Debra: Yeah, I hate it when it's too frozen, you know, 'cause it tears the bread.
Ray: Yeah, although you don't want it too soft, 'cause then you don't know how long it's been out.
Debra: Yeah. No, this butter's perfect.
Ray: It's like the perfect, um... What's the word?
Debra: Temperature.
Ray: No. [pause] Density. The perfect density, yeah. Although, yeah, temperature would have worked. This butter is the perfect temperature-slash-density.
Debra: Yes, it is.
Ray: We need more bread.
Debra: Yeah.

Quote from Ray

Ray: And now my favorite part of Valentine's Day.
Debra: What?
Ray: The march of the red, silk boxers.
Debra: Are you kidding me?
Ray: You're right. Skip the dancing.
Debra: Wait a minute. We don't talk to each other all night now you just wanna have sex?
Ray: Not just. Hey, come on. We talked.
Debra: Oh, yeah, yeah. "This butter is the perfect temperature-slash-density."
Ray: Was I wrong?

Quote from Debra

Debra: You know what? We have nothing to say to each other. All we do is talk about the kids, or tell stories we've heard over and over and over.
Ray: What stories?
Debra: Robert swallowing that damn bee. I've heard that stupid story a million times, every time you see honey or a bee or a person with a puffy face.
Ray: Yeah, that's a million.
Debra: Or how about the time your dad put a possum in your tent during a camping trip and you literally jumped out of your skin?
Ray: What? It was scary.
Debra: Yeah, that's not literally. You literally jump out of your skin, you're dead. Body out of skin, dead.
Ray: How about you? You're always telling me about the story where you wore purple shoes and your feet sweated, and they turned purple. "It was like I was making wine." That's not funny.
Debra: I know. See? We have nothing to talk about and you don't even care.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Let me ask you something. If one was asked to read a book called "Devil Wood," one would be correct in assuming that the book was scary or exciting or had something "devilly" in it, wouldn't one?
Robert: One would.
Ray: Well, then one would be wrong.
Robert: What's going on, Raymond?
Ray: Debra wants me to read this so we have stuff in common. But I swear to God, this sucker's like a horse tranquilizer. Here, listen to this. Listen to this first line. "Imagine a rain so beautiful it must never have existed." What does that mean? What does that mean? Tell me, right now, what does that mean?
Robert: [chuckles] I don't know.
Ray: Yeah. Because it's nonsense talk. You have to close this book.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Hi, kids.
Ray: I said I would pick them up. Yeah, how you doing, kids? Listen, I was saying hello to my parents, huh? A guy can't greet his loved ones?
Debra: So you don't mind spending time with them?
Ray: Oh, come on. Will you give me a break? I tried, huh? Didn't I try? Oh, okay, I get it. You're mad at me for not talking to you, so now you're not talking to me. Isn't that interesting? Maybe you should think about that, huh? Put that pipe in your mouth, hmm? What? What are you looking at?
[Debra and Ray look through the serving window to see Marie cutting Frank's sandwich. The pair then eat the sandwiches in silence. Marie offers Frank a napkin. He lifts his glass to take a drink and notices it's empty. Marie passes the pitcher across. After Frank fills up his drink, Marie tries to fill hers up and realizes the pitcher is near empty. Frank sees this and tops her drink up with some of his. He then decides he's gone too far and tries to even the two glasses out. They both drink and then return to their sandwiches, all without saying a word.]
Frank: May we help you?
Ray: No, we're fine. There's a weird cat. He was outside. Yeah, it's gone now. It had a brown eye and, like, one no eye. It was one of those. It was weird.

Quote from Debra

Ray: So what were you saying?
Debra: Oh, nothing. Geoffrey took Michael's hat, and Geoffrey's was at school, so Michael didn't have a hat. But he didn't care 'cause he hates hats anyways.
Ray: Hmm. [long silence as they eat bread] So Geoffrey took Michael's hat?
Debra: Yeah.

Quote from Ray

Debra: This bread is good.
Ray: You got that right. Although, we probably shouldn't fill up on bread though.
Debra: Yeah, you're right. [long silence]
Ray: The bread is good, though. It is good.The butter's good, too. It's like honey butter or something.
Debra: Yeah.
Ray: Honey, hmm. That reminds me of when Robert accidentally swallowed the bee. You should have seen him. He was like... Yeah. It was funny.
Debra: Yeah. Yeah, I love that story.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Maybe if we did more stuff together, we could come up with something to say to each other.
Ray: Okay.
Debra: Really?
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: Okay, all right. So what could we do, you know, together?
Ray: Well, you know what's lovely? Va-loo!
Debra: Oh, Ray, come on.
Ray: Come on, what? Hey, maybe you could talk during sex. See, that's something- I've always encouraged that.

Quote from Ray

Debra: How about we go to the botanical gardens? Huh?
Ray: Ha! Oh. Hmm. Perhaps.
Debra: Could be fun. Come on, I mean, they have trails and nature hikes. Oh, forget it. It's lame.
Ray: Yeah, come on, plants. We got plants in the bathroom. We never talk about them.

Quote from Debra

Debra: All right, so what else could we do?
Ray: We could watch the end of the Nets/Lakers game. I'm kidding. I'm sorry.
Debra: You know, that's what's wrong.
Ray: I know. I make little jokes. I'm dumb.
Debra: No, no, no, we should be able to watch sports together. Come on, you're a sportswriter. It's a big part of your life. I'm interested in your life. Yes, yes, I will watch the basketball game with you. I would like that.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Okay, basketball it is.
Ray: All right. Oh, this is good.
Debra: So what could you do to take more interest in me?
Ray: Well, I was gonna sit next to you during the watching of the sports.
Debra: You know, actually, I would really like to know what you think about this book I just read.
Ray: You mean by me reading it?
Debra: Yeah, yeah, I would like that.
Ray: Yeah- Oh, but if I'm reading it, we wouldn't be together, which is what we want. Nuts!

Quote from Ray

Debra: I want you to read this, huh? Look, here it is.
Ray: "Devil Wood." Doesn't sound that bad. "Devil Wood."
Debra: So what do you think?
Ray: And I couldn't take more of an interest in you just by reintroducing myself to your body?
Debra: You read that book, I'll let you take the full tour.
Ray: Chapter one.

Quote from Ray

Robert: Yeah, looks like little Raymie can't watch the game. He's got homework.
Ray: That's the other stinking, horrible thing. She wants to watch sports together too, like the Knicks today.
Robert: Why?
Ray: We watched the game together on Valentine's Day and apparently that went well. The being together and talking.
Robert: What did you guys talk about?
Ray: Who knows? That's why I asked you guys to come over. I need you to kind of absorb some of her.
Robert: So we're like pawns in your sick game?
Ray: If she asks, let's just say that you came by because you're still bummed out about not having a girlfriend.
Robert: I am still bummed out about that.
Ray: Perfect.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Easy now, easy.
Debra: I cannot believe you.
Ray: Okay, good. Let me-
Debra: I cannot believe you!
Ray: I just- I just-
Debra: You just what?
Ray: Will you let me finish my sentence? If you let me finish, then I could finish it. Well, now I'm at a loss for words. This is all so sudden.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Have you read any of that book?
Ray: I read a lot.
Debra: Yeah, what's it about?
Ray: It's about "a rain that's so beautiful, I can't even believe it existed."
Debra: That's the first line. You've read one line!
Ray: And I was gonna read the next one when I came out of my coma.

Quote from Ray

Debra: So that's it? You're just not gonna put any effort into this, are you?
Ray: Oh, come on, I just don't think we need to turn our lives upside down just so we can have more to talk about.
Debra: Trying to talk to me is "turning your life upside down"?
Ray: I just l- I-
Frank: Stop talking.
Debra: Yeah, Ray, don't even bother talking to me. You just enjoy your coma.
Ray: All right, maybe I will.

Quote from Ray

Marie: Frank said that you and Debra were having some sort of a loud discussion?
Ray: Don't worry about it, Ma. Everything's fine.
Frank: You hiding from her?
Ray: Yeah.
Frank: Then this should be good.
Debra: [enters] What are you, hiding out?
Ray: No, I'm picking up the kids. Didn't I just ask for the kids? What the hell, Ma?

Quote from Debra

Ray: That looks good to you?
Debra: They just seem so comfortable with each other. I don't know. Maybe we're at that point where we can be comfortable just being with each other.
Ray: You wanna be like them?
Debra: Not exactly. But just imagine how much better our Valentine's dinner would have been if we weren't so worried about filling up every single second with talk about butter.
Ray: Well, you were the one who was babbling about the bread. It's only natural you're gonna get my butter theory.
Debra: All right, I know. I know, but what if we had just been happy to be out of the house, just us enjoying the peace and the quiet?
Ray: I do like quiet.
Debra: Yeah, me, too.
Ray: And peace.
Debra: I guess the question is for the next 30 years, when it's quiet, and we don't have anything to say to each other, do I mind having you sit next to me? No, I don't mind.
Ray: Okay. Okay, good.
Debra: You mind sitting next to me?
Ray: No, you smell good.

Quote from Ray

Ray: 30 years? Why did you say 30 years?
Debra: Oh, I don't know.
Ray: Do you think I'm gonna die at 70?
Debra: No.
Ray: 'Cause 30 years is a weird number.
Debra: Okay, shh! Let's not talk.
Ray: Okay. It works for them.
Debra: Yeah.
Marie: [enters] Ugh, I can't look at him eat anymore.


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