Debra: Do you know what time it is? Come to bed.
Ray: Can't sleep.
Debra: Oh, listen. You got to stop feeling guilty about getting your parents back together. You know what? Think of them as, like, a terrible virus. If they had met other people, the misery would've spread. You kept it contained.

Marie: How are you eating? Close your mouth before you chew.
Frank: Close your mouth before you talk.

Ray: So I guess it wasn't just my arm, then, huh?
Robert: Yeah, your arm. You know, I've been meaning to tell you about that. You know how you fell off your bike?
Ray: Yeah.
Robert: Well, you didn't just fall off your bike.
Ray: What do you mean?
Robert: Well, Dad was away so long, I figured he might come home sooner if you had a little accident.
Ray: Are you crazy?! I flipped over the handlebars! I could've been killed!
Robert: I thought of that. Then Dad would have come to the funeral. I'm glad we talked about this. It's been on my mind.

Robert: So what do you think?
Ray: A party? I don't know.
Robert: Maybe we should, uh, get some chips.
Ray: What, you mean like potato chips?
Robert: Yeah.
Ray: I like barbecue.
Robert: Nice. How about sour cream and onion? No, wait a minute. ls that too much?
Ray: Well, it is their 40th.
Robert: Yeah, that's true. How about some dip?
Ray: You know what? We don't need dip.
Robert: Yeah, 'cause the chips are already flavored.
Ray: Right.

Ray: How about the time I fell out of the tree house?
Robert: You.
Ray: Bunk bed collapsing?
Robert: Me.
Ray: Dart in the leg.
Robert: Me. Accident.
Ray: Hamster dying.
Robert: God.
Ray: The time I almost drowned.
Robert: Lake or ocean?
Ray: Lake.
Robert: You.

Ray: But 40 years, it's a big milestone. Think of all the good times.
Frank: I had one good year.
Ray: There you go.
Frank: The year I left your mother.
Ray: What?
Marie: Frank! The children!
Frank: What's the big secret? We split up for a year. I came back, didn't l?
Ray: Wait. What are you talking about?
Marie: We almost got divorced.
Ray: What?
Frank: There's a sad word: "almost."

Ray: Let's hear it.
Marie: Okay. We'd been living here in this house. We had had the kids, and... When I think about it, we were a lot like you and Debra.
Debra: What?
Ray: What do you mean?
Debra: Not like us.
Marie: Just like you two. I think, Raymond, you were 6 and Robbie was...
Robert: 10, Ma. It's Ray plus four.

Debra: Hi! You're home early. How was the Happy Zone?
Ally: I'm tired.
Marie: Of course you're tired. Because Grandpa was too cheap to park at the Happy Zone.
Frank: That lot costs $3 an hour. I found a meter with time left on it.
Marie: Thirty-seven minutes? We had to run back so we wouldn't get a ticket.
Frank: You call what you do running?
Marie: I saw other wives being picked up at the door.
Frank: I wish I could pick up another wife at the door.

Marie: Oh, that was a wonderful brunch, you two. Lovely.
Ray: But..?
Marie: It was a little much.
Debra: We just thought that you would enjoy a nice anniversary brunch.
Marie: We don't enjoy things, dear.
Frank: Guess why.
Ray: All right. Come on. We're supposed to be celebrating today, right?
Marie: This marriage is nothing to celebrate.

Ray: Wait a minute. Doesn't that story bother you?
Robert: No. Why should it? It's water under the bridge. We all turned out okay. [touches chip to his chin and eats]