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‘Anniversary’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Anniversary

206. Anniversary

Aired October 27, 1997

When Ray helps organize a surprise party for Frank and Marie's 40th wedding anniversary, he is surprised to learn his parents once separated.

Quote from Debra

Debra: Do you know what time it is? Come to bed.
Ray: Can't sleep.
Debra: Oh, listen. You got to stop feeling guilty about getting your parents back together. You know what? Think of them as, like, a terrible virus. If they had met other people, the misery would've spread. You kept it contained.

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Quote from Frank

Marie: How are you eating? Close your mouth before you chew.
Frank: Close your mouth before you talk.

Quote from Robert

Ray: So I guess it wasn't just my arm, then, huh?
Robert: Yeah, your arm. You know, I've been meaning to tell you about that. You know how you fell off your bike?
Ray: Yeah.
Robert: Well, you didn't just fall off your bike.
Ray: What do you mean?
Robert: Well, Dad was away so long, I figured he might come home sooner if you had a little accident.
Ray: Are you crazy?! I flipped over the handlebars! I could've been killed!
Robert: I thought of that. Then Dad would have come to the funeral. I'm glad we talked about this. It's been on my mind.

Quote from Robert

Ray: How about the time I fell out of the tree house?
Robert: You.
Ray: Bunk bed collapsing?
Robert: Me.
Ray: Dart in the leg.
Robert: Me. Accident.
Ray: Hamster dying.
Robert: God.
Ray: The time I almost drowned.
Robert: Lake or ocean?
Ray: Lake.
Robert: You.

Quote from Frank

Ray: But 40 years, it's a big milestone. Think of all the good times.
Frank: I had one good year.
Ray: There you go.
Frank: The year I left your mother.
Ray: What?
Marie: Frank! The children!
Frank: What's the big secret? We split up for a year. I came back, didn't l?
Ray: Wait. What are you talking about?
Marie: We almost got divorced.
Ray: What?
Frank: There's a sad word: "almost."

Quote from Robert

Robert: So what do you think?
Ray: A party? I don't know.
Robert: Maybe we should, uh, get some chips.
Ray: What, you mean like potato chips?
Robert: Yeah.
Ray: I like barbecue.
Robert: Nice. How about sour cream and onion? No, wait a minute. ls that too much?
Ray: Well, it is their 40th.
Robert: Yeah, that's true. How about some dip?
Ray: You know what? We don't need dip.
Robert: Yeah, 'cause the chips are already flavored.
Ray: Right.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Let's hear it.
Marie: Okay. We'd been living here in this house. We had had the kids, and... When I think about it, we were a lot like you and Debra.
Debra: What?
Ray: What do you mean?
Debra: Not like us.
Marie: Just like you two. I think, Raymond, you were 6 and Robbie was...
Robert: 10, Ma. It's Ray plus four.

Quote from Frank

Debra: Hi! You're home early. How was the Happy Zone?
Ally: I'm tired.
Marie: Of course you're tired. Because Grandpa was too cheap to park at the Happy Zone.
Frank: That lot costs $3 an hour. I found a meter with time left on it.
Marie: Thirty-seven minutes? We had to run back so we wouldn't get a ticket.
Frank: You call what you do running?
Marie: I saw other wives being picked up at the door.
Frank: I wish I could pick up another wife at the door.

Quote from Marie

Marie: Oh, that was a wonderful brunch, you two. Lovely.
Ray: But..?
Marie: It was a little much.
Debra: We just thought that you would enjoy a nice anniversary brunch.
Marie: We don't enjoy things, dear.
Frank: Guess why.
Ray: All right. Come on. We're supposed to be celebrating today, right?
Marie: This marriage is nothing to celebrate.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Wait a minute. Doesn't that story bother you?
Robert: No. Why should it? It's water under the bridge. We all turned out okay. [touches chip to his chin and eats]

Quote from Robert

Ray: Let me ask you something. They're, like, happy in there, aren't they?
Robert: What do you mean?
Ray: I mean, they're, like, happy the way they are.
Robert: Yeah. Of course they're happy. Thank God. Otherwise living here would be very stressful. [touches chip to chin and eats it]

Quote from Marie

[voiceovers as we see Ray and Debra as a younger Frank and Marie:]
Marie: And I remember Frank and I were just like you two. Everything was normal. We'd had our differences. But this was the day I realized the man I married had no respect for me whatsoever.
Frank: Don't make this a production, Marie.
Marie: I remember, I'd been cooking all day and you were taking your own sweet time coming down for dinner. When I think of how many times I yelled, "Frank!" A nice pot roast, little red potatoes, carrots cooked in the sauce. Before he even tasted a bite, he had the nerve to ask me for salt.
Frank: Salt gives it taste.
Marie: That roast had taste. It had oregano, garlic, paprika. He wouldn't even try it!
Frank: It's my house! I'm allowed to have salt if I want!
Marie: Even if it destroys another person?

Quote from Debra

Ray: God, all this time I thought my parents ruined my life. It turns out I ruined theirs.
Debra: You didn't ruin theirs. They got back together because of you.
Ray: Right! They could've stayed apart met other people, led happy, fulfilling lives.
Debra: Your parents?
Ray: They were different then. Didn't you hear my mom? Back then, they were just like you and me.
Debra: Yeah. That was the worst part of that story.
Marie: Debra, dear, the guests are dipping their cups into the punch bowl since there's no ladle. ls that how you intended it?
Debra: I'll get a ladle. [to Ray] And they all lived happily ever after.

Quote from Debra

Ray: It's more than that.
Debra: What, we're on to something worse?
Ray: Yes.
Debra: What are we having tonight, Ray?
Ray: I don't know. What if you and me...
Debra: What?
Ray: What if we end up like my parents, staying together just for the kids?
Debra: That would never happen, because I would take the kids. And the house.

Quote from Debra

Debra: They're not stuck. I mean, come on, think about it. There has to be a reason other than you why that marriage has lasted 40 years. Got to be another reason.
Ray: Yeah. What might that be?
Debra: Spite.

Quote from Frank

Marie: Did you see how your father behaved yesterday?
Frank: There was nothing wrong with me, and it's my house!
Marie: That gives you the right to unbuckle your pants in front of people?
Frank: What people? It's Lee and Stan. And Maxine thought that was hysterical.
Marie: You're impossible.
Frank: What about you? Wanting to dance.
Marie: It was a party.
Frank: Yes! People are eating. Exactly why you shouldn't dance.

Quote from Marie

Ray: All right. Stop it, will you? How can you keep doing this?
Marie: What do you mean? We're having breakfast.
Ray: Do you hear yourselves?
Frank: Why are you yelling? We're having a conversation.
Ray: No, you're not. This is not a conversation. It's bickering. That's all you do.
Frank: Who are you to tell us what we do? Leave us alone. The next time you want to dance, give me notice so I can kill myself.
Marie: Good. I'll dance on your grave.

Quote from Frank

Marie: How are the eggs?
Frank: Hmm, they're good. Could use some more.
Marie: Okay. [to Ray] You want some eggs, honey? Sit down.
Frank: Where are the peppers?
Marie: Ah, no peppers. You always ask for peppers, and then you get heartburn.
Frank: It's not from the peppers!

Quote from Robert

Ray: Ma, what is this story?
Robert: Mom, Dad, happy anniversary. Amy and I have prepared a few remarks.
Ray: Come with me, both of you.
Marie: No. Your brother's talking.
Robert: Webster's Unabridged Dictionary defines wedlock as...
Ray: Just keep toasting. I'll have them back in a minute.
Robert: The toast is for them.
Amy: So is the cake.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Did you know Mom and Dad were separated?
Robert: Again?
Ray: Wait, you knew? Where the hell was I that year?
Marie: You were watching television.
Robert: Yeah, Wild Wild West.

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