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‘P.T. & A.’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: P.T. & A.

904. P.T. & A.

Aired October 11, 2004

Ray takes umbrage when Debra complains about his sloppy apperance at a P.T.A. meeting.

Quote from Robert

Amy: Deb, can we watch TV over here? Frank fell asleep with the remote tucked into his boxers.
Robert: And then the channel changed so we got the hell out of there.

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Quote from Frank

Marie: Can I just say one thing, Debra?
Frank: I'd say she can't.
Marie: There's a time arrives in a woman's life when she still can show her body off but she shouldn't. It's just not becoming of a lady. And I say that for every year you're over 40, you should add an inch to the hemline of your dress.
Frank: Well, then you should be dragging around a Persian rug.

Quote from Debra

Ray: And- And here we are and I'm still the same ol' guy and you're dressing all hot and looking all great. And I don't know, what are you looking for, somebody in your own league?
Debra: Do you really think I'm looking?
Ray: Well, what am I supposed to think when you go out dressed like Wonder Woman?
Debra: I dress the way I dress because I am a housewife, which is great and I love that, but I don't always want to dress like a housewife. That has nothing to do with me wanting to get away from you most of the time. And, you know, you can put yourself down all you want, but you are very good-looking.
Ray: Oh, shut up.
Debra: No. It's true. In fact, you are better looking now than you were when I met you. I mean, it's not fair. You get distinguished and handsome, and I have to worry about the day I get out of bed and everything hits the floor.

Quote from Robert

Amy: Ray, what happened to your shirt?
Debra: Thank you, Amy. Ray, the P.T.A. meeting is here next week, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't look like that. It's a reflection on me.
Ray: Oh, come on.
Debra: No. I can't imagine what people think when we walk in someplace together.
Robert: They're thinking, "What a beautiful woman with horribly impaired vision."
Ray: Yeah. What does Amy hear? "Look out, lady, it's right behind you."

Quote from Debra

Debra: Look, I probably shouldn't be wearing a dress like that. I've worn it so many times. I can only imagine how many other people think I look trampy.
Ray: They don't think that, trust me.
Debra: And your mother's made her share of comments over the years. I've always just dismissed them because she's, you know, horrible.

Quote from Ray

Debra: So what, you want me to go out in a parka and snow pants?
Ray: No.
Debra: Oh, you want me to look good, but not too good?
Ray: Yes. Come on. Wait, look at you. You're you're sexy. Yeah, I could put on some finer clothes and and maybe not wear so much food, but I'm still gonna be this. You know, when we were going out, people would say, "What's that hot girl doing with that nose with sneakers?"

Quote from Debra

Ray: You got a couple of years left before that's gonna happen.
Debra: Well, I guess that's a compliment. I'll take it. I'll take any compliment. You know, sometimes people say nice things about the way I dress, and I guess I like that.
Ray: Well, yeah, but who's saying nice things to you?
Debra: Just people. But a lot of times I never get that from you.
Ray: What? You know I think you're hot.
Debra: Yes, I know when I go to bed and turn off my light I will get mauled. It would be nice to hear it with words sometimes during the day when I have clothes on.

Quote from Ray

Ray: What's to eat?
Debra: Oh, you couldn't possibly be hungry. You spent the whole P.T.A. meeting at the buffet table. And what is that on your shirt?
Ray: [licks] Chocolate pudding. Yeah. Want some?
Debra: Ugh. I mean, by the way, you couldn't wear a nicer shirt to the P.T.A. meeting?
Ray: I don't wanna get chocolate pudding on a nicer shirt.
Debra: You know, you don't even care how you look.
Robert: [enters] Or sound or act or smell. Hello.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Well, that's all very funny considering what I heard people say about how Debra looks tonight.
Debra: What are you talking about?
Ray: Nothing. I was standing by the buffet, I overheard one of the mothers say, "I wonder where the rest of her dress is."
Debra: Who said that?
Ray: I don't know. The woman who's always there... tall and skinny. She was blocking the bean dip.
Debra: Liz Sharpe? She complimented me on this dress. You don't know what you're talking about.
Ray: I'm just telling you what they were saying.
Debra: What "they"? Was there somebody else?
Ray: She said that, and then the other woman said, "Yeah. That dress makes her look..."
Debra: What?
Ray: "Trampy."

Quote from Robert

Debra: Trampy? I- why would they say that?
Robert: Oh, that's ridiculous. That dress looks fantastic. You have a great body and you're not afraid to show it. ... is what I think Amy is thinking. Right, hot stuff?

Quote from Amy

Amy: Deb, don't pay any attention to those women. They're just jealous. They wish they had the courage to wear what the kids today are wearing. You know, at our age.
Debra: Thanks, Amy. Okay, well, you know what? I'm gonna call it a night.
Ray: Oh, wow. I didn't want her to feel horrible. Nice going, Amy.
Amy: I did not mean that the way it sounded. I meant it as a compliment. She's adorable. Everybody thinks that. Isn't she adorable, Robert? [Robert walks out]

Quote from Ray

Robert: Hey. Do you have any rubbing alcohol? I got the remote from Dad.
Ray: Don't, don't. Aw. Come on. Now we gotta throw away the table.

Quote from Ray

Robert: Amy's gonna come over later to apologize. She felt terrible for what she said.
Ray: I shouldn't even have mentioned it in the first place.
Robert: You were probably right to do it. You don't want Deb to think that these people are her friends. She should know the truth.
Ray: Yeah... Well, the truth...
Robert: What?
Ray: All right, listen. You know you know, uh, Liz whatever her name is and those other women what they said? I made it up.
Robert: You made it up?
Ray: Yeah, and I feel kind of bad.
Robert: "Kind of bad"? You should be in jail.
Robert: Why- Why would you even do that?
Ray: I don't know. I lie, I guess. Debra was just getting on me about being a slob, and she was dressed all, "Look at this, look at that, look at this". You know that little part in your brain that doesn't think things all the way through?
Robert: That's not the little part of your brain.

Quote from Debra

Debra: But maybe she's right. I mean, when you think about it, she's only saying what everybody else has been thinking. I'm just a middle-aged woman who's fooling herself.
Ray: Look, Deb, I gotta tell you something-
Debra: You know, what really bugs me is that word "trampy." I mean, I know that dress is a little low-cut, but "trampy"? It's like they're going out of their way to insult me. What is with these women? Don't they have bigger issues? And how about saying it to my face instead of going behind my back? You know, that is so damn underhanded. What kind of a person does that?
Ray: I hate them.

Quote from Ray

Debra: Liz would you like to start off with the fundraiser for the library?
Liz: I- I was just gonna say that the book donations from the Junior College might be delayed.
Debra: Hmm. You seem a little distracted, Liz. Is everything okay?
Liz: I- I don't know what you're talking about, Debra.
Debra: Oh, Ray told me everything.
Ray: All right, enough of the chitchat. So where are we on these book things? This is the first I'm hearing of any delay, and this is total bull, and it is an outrage. And I'm not a big fan of books, but the kids should have them, damn it.

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