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‘Bully on the Bus’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

Everybody Loves Raymond: Bully on the Bus

413. Bully on the Bus

Aired January 17, 2000

Debra learns that a boy is bullying Ally on the school bus.

Quote from Frank

Marie: We were just on our way to the market, and I- What's wrong?
Debra: Nothing, what do you mean?
Marie: I sense tension and anger.
Frank: Maybe you're picking up your own scent.

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Quote from Ray

Debra: She's a normal kid, Ray.
Ray: No, normal kids don't pick on other kids.
Debra: What are you talking about? You were a kid, you know. The bus, the playground, those are all tough places.
Ray: Well, it turns out they weren't so tough until she showed up.

Quote from Frank

Marie: [enters] Why are you still here, Frank? You said you were coming across the street to read the twins a bedtime story.
Frank: I did. And when Hansel and Gretel got away from the witch, I got inspired and stayed here.

Quote from Ray

Ray: I don't like to point a finger, but she's this way because of you.
Debra: Excuse me?
Ray: That's right, you heard me. You're the role model for her, not me. I'm not the woman here.
Debra: Oh no?
Ray: Ah, see, right there. That's what I'm talking about. That attitude. That smarty-pants, stick-up-for-yourself, don't-take-any-crap- from-anybody...
Debra: So you're accusing me of teaching my daughter to be self-confident?
Ray: That's right! Every jerk I ever met was self-confident.
Debra: Yeah, not every jerk.

Quote from Ray

Ray: I'd ask how your day was but I just walked past 500 pounds of bad day on the couch.
Debra: Yeah. And your father was in our yard today with his metal detector.
Ray: Aw, you're kidding. Did he dig again?
Debra: Yep, four-foot hole. Found a nickel.
Ray: I should sprinkle a roll of quarters out there. He'll dig us a pool.

Quote from Frank

Frank: This really bunches my shorts.
Ray: What, you care?
Frank: Hey, we're talking about my granddaughter here. Of course I care.
Ray: Like you cared when we got bullied? "Stop crying, people are looking at us."
Robert: Yeah. "These aren't my kids." You never helped us.
Frank: Ally's a girl, Nancy.

Quote from Marie

Robert: Hey Ma, did you hear? Ally's being bullied.
Marie: What?
Ray: Yeah, some kid named Todd Feeney.
Marie: Feeney? Got it. I'll take care of it.
Debra: Wait, what do you mean? Wait, wait, wait. "Take care of it"?
Marie: I'll call his mother. Don't worry. I'm very good at this.

Quote from Debra

Debra: All right, wait. Listen, Ally will be fine. She's a very strong little girl.
Frank: No, she's not. She's got arms like twigs.
Debra: I didn't mean- Look, I appreciate that you all care about her. I do, but enough, really.
Ray: But what are we supposed to do, nothing?
Debra: Yes, Ray, nothing. How about we don't interfere and let her live her own life? Maybe we could set an example. [goes upstairs]
Marie: An example for who?

Quote from Ray

Ray: What else? What else happened?
Debra: Oh, some kid on Ally's bus has been picking on her. Do you want two pieces of chicken or-
Ray: Wait a minute. Somebody's picking on Ally?
Debra: It's nothing. Some kid calling her names.
Ray: Oh, no. Well, what kind of name does he call her?
Debra: It's nothing. Kid stuff.
Ray: Oh, kids are the worst.

Quote from Ray

Ray: All right. What bad thing rhymes with Ally? Pally? Crally? Schnally? Finale?
Debra: Yeah, Ray-
Ray: This is how bullies work, Debra. They find a word that rhymes with your name and then you're that until college. Trust me. I grew up with the name Raymond.
Debra: What rhymes with Raymond?
Ray: How about, Layman, Gayman, Go-away-man? [Debra walks away] I still don't see the humor.

Quote from Robert

Debra: Guess what Debra just told me.
Frank: To come in here and flap your gums when there's two minutes left in the game.
Ray: Some kid's been bullying Ally.
Robert: What are you talking about? Who? Who is it? Who's doing it?
Ray: I don't know. I don't know. Some older kid's picking on her, calling her names.
Robert: Oh, boy. Well, at least Ally's name doesn't rhyme with anything bathroom related. Unless... No, no, you're clear.

Quote from Frank

Robert: Deb, what's this about Ally being picked on?
Debra: She's fine. It's just some boy on her bus.
Robert: A boy?
Frank: All right. Let's get him.
Ray: Wait, what what do you mean?
Frank: We'll figure something out in the car. Let's roll.
Robert: Yeah, I can run a check to see if the family has any outstanding warrants.
Debra: Ray.
Ray: Can't we even run a check?
Debra: Listen, that's really nice, but you guys don't have to saddle up and form a posse.

Quote from Robert

Ray: Debra doesn't get it.
Debra: What? What don't I get?
Frank: What it's like to be picked on.
Robert: Oh, yeah, you were popular.
Ray: Yeah, we know what a big deal this is to Ally 'cause we went though it. Especially on the bus.
Robert: Oh, the bus. Wedgies, wet willies.
Frank: Who's Wet Willie?
Robert: They would wet their finger and stick it in your ear. It was chilly. [Frank attempts to do so] Hey, get away from that there! You're supposed to warn me when he's next to me.

Quote from Ray

Ray: Hey, Ally, waiting for the bus?
Ally: Yeah.
Ray: I didn't get a chance to say have a good day before, you know, with Mommy all around. So, I thought I'd come out here. So, have a good day, there.
Ally: Okay.
Ray: Hey, who is this? Todd Feeney?
Ally: No.
Ray: This Todd Feeney?
Ally: No.
Ray: Now that I'm all the way out here, why don't I wait for the bus with you?
Ally: Yeah.
Ray: Okay. Great, good. Waiting for the old school bus. I remember this. A long time ago, though. I remember waiting for the bus to be invented. [silence] That's how long ago that was. You know what else I remember as a kid? That not all the kids were nice.
Ally: Bye, Daddy.
Ray: Wait, Ally. I wanted to also tell you that- Okay, bye, Ally. Have fun. I love you.

Quote from Ray

Ray: [to boy playing a video game] So, another day, huh? Another day, right? Yeah, school sucks. Like math. Give me a break. When are you ever gonna use that? How 'bout never? Hey, do you know which kid is Todd Feeney? Hello. Look, how 'bout I give you a dollar if you tell me which one Todd is? [the boy points to a kid] Okay. Thank you. [to a girl] You had your chance, missy.
[Ray walks over to the boy]
Todd Feeney: Did you fail the sixth grade like a thousand times or something? [laughter]
Ray: No.

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